blackberries and sandcastles and ladybugs

Love going to bed with a new, good daydream scenario fresh in my mind. Like yes girl, movie night!

1st attempt at candying lemons with a regular degular pan and depressingly blunt knife. will report back

august is the month we gently steer ourselves back in the right direction as summer comes to a close

Yes

it’s crazy how much you can read if you read

absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i’m going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn’t do it at all, it’s not that fun

my love language is the same as a crow. if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you

(not analysis, i just need to yap) the scene in tfc i actually think about the most is the one where wymack formally tells the team that edgar allen is coming south and kevin starts having a panic attack and andrew helps him through it and neil is just. so physically sick with jealousy that he leaves and runs all the way back to the dorms. bc the fear that kevin is experiencing in that moment ?? neil has been dealing with that fear every second of every day for eight years, but he has never been allowed to show it, much less receive reassurance from both a group of people rallying behind him and a specific person promising to protect him. kevin is arguably the first to spark a feeling of visceral, all-consuming want in neil, bc not only does neil want to train with him and play with him and win his praise, he wants to be him. kevin is everything neil feels like he can’t have, a magnet that he can't get close to or stay away from. so when andrew begins to stake a claim (“my things,” “give your back to me," etc.), the fantasy neil entertains is that kevin's life could be his life too. andrew's offer is a siren's song in the truest sense; agreeing is sure to leave him dashed against the rocks or drowned, but every word is exactly what he wants to hear, lifted directly from the depths of his innermost turmoil, and neil is so tired of running.

🫵🫵 go my white blood cells, kill that nasty virus that inflicted me with the common cold