That’s me!

Done but not satisfied...

“Wash’ I could kiss you!”

i've been giggling over this youtube comment for like three days

"Well," said our engineer ruefully as we took our seats to return once more to London, "it has been a pretty business for me! I have lost my thumb and I have lost a fifty-guinea fee, and what have I gained?" "Experience," said Holmes, laughing. "Indirectly it may be of value, you know; you have only to put it into words to gain the reputation of being excellent company for the remainder of your existence." (from "The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb")

Suspicious characters: hey we need an engineer to fix the hydraulic press we’re using in a totally legitimate mining operation at our house in the countryside. We will pick you up in the middle of the night at the train station and drive in circles for an hour so you don’t know where the place is. Btw you don’t have any friends or family who would notice you’ve gone missing right

Our Protagonist: sounds great! Btw why is your wife(?) desperately trying to make me leave? You guys aren’t printing counterfeit money here, are you? Hold that murderous look, I’m going to literally walk INSIDE the hydraulic press to fix it. Don’t turn it on or anything. Oop

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

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Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose

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Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"

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Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

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Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is