what are you doing here

when you eat a Normal Sandwich (bread meat greens cheese relish) and your body goes ooohhh fuck! oh fuck! what have you done! heartbeat GO! sweating GO! temperature GO! like sorry man I'm just trying to keep you WORKING!!!!!!!! ASS HOLE!

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

happy pride month to this post specifically

men’s hockey isn’t real they made that up for heated rivalry. In real life only women can play hockey

Moving around my whole life and having lived in 7 states has made me keenly aware of the fact that everyone thinks their city/town is uniquely terrible in exactly the same ways. "Everyone acts nice but they hate you," "The weather here is so unpredictable," "It's so hard to make friends here," "The buses are never on time," "This town is full of the craziest people," girl that's every town. "No but it's worse here" look you can't all be the worst.