MY FUCKING CAR
The Stonewall Inn
Cosmic Funnies

bliss lane
YOU ARE THE REASON
$LAYYYTER
wallacepolsom
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Love Begins
hello vonnie

@theartofmadeline
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
🪼
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
Keni

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@tea-the-reconstructor
MY FUCKING CAR

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Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”
You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.
*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*
I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline
characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)
fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

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you ever notice how covid cases have spiked since the cock destroyers split up? can’t be a coincidence
since the what
come here and sit down right now
Oh i’ve seen this before witch you wont get me
I try not to be the twitter reposter but like. yeah.
Okay, all the notes have become advice SO: Drink a hydration aide and a probiotic or gut health drink of your choice on the daily. We're all, myself included, sick of being scolded for smoking but if you smoke darts you have to stop. Nicotine fucks your liver's ability to actually make use of the estrogens passing through it, and it causes your liver to break them down faster and convert a bunch into useless shit. Prog can do sweet fuck all if you're not offering what it needs to begin with. Also, you're murdering the girl you'll be every day after today and that's a fucked thing to do. For now though, patches and certain estrogen tablets taken sublingually skirt the liver and go straight into your blood, though you will need to check your specific make and double check in the instance of generic scripts. If its compounded differently from the name-brand prescription you need to know if it can still be used under the tongue. Personally I take my t blockers, wait ~90 minutes and then take my sublinguals.
Get your E directly into your blood, permacrush your T levels, (I feel amazing around 2.7pmol/L and I make sure my Dr's know I'm aware how low that is) and THEN start on progesterone as a suppository. I have no experience or knowledge of topical progesterone cream but I'm told that works too, and can be useful for evening out particularly uneven breast growth HOWEVER THAT WILL HAPPEN ON ITS OWN, 99.5 TIMES OUT OF A HUNDRED. You just have to wait, they WILL be noticeably uneven at points, potentially for some time, and it is COMPLETELY NORMAL for developed breasts to be different sizes and hang differently. Official prescribing guidelines AU is to wait ~6months to start prog, personally I do not believe that's long enough, but obviously its ultimately up to you. You can try cycling prog if you like, I have bpd and that was an actual fucking nightmare but I've read testimony from some transfems for whom it worked great. You will need to tell whomever does your blood work that your estrogen is going straight into your blood, otherwise they will freak out at the insane levels if you ever get a test done in the first three-ish hours after it enters your system.
My only other advice is find a durum flour you like and get good at making pizza, the most expensive parts are the meat and cheese and you only actually need one of those. Plus, having like $12 in your bank account and knowing you can make a week's worth of pizza a la bullshit ft. the forgotten things in your pantry is a Big Security Feeling.
oh also jesus christ if you boof your prog RUN IT UNDER WARM WATER FIRST, even just for a split second.
WHERE is that poem about that person learning all about their partners hyperfixation before getting dumped the last line is like "love is a stack of books on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end" I need it to feel whole help me please
NYT Tiny Love Stories, 2/11/2020
A Bookmark Near the End
He loves history. He wanted to write a biography of John Quincy Adams. I, shamefully, knew almost nothing about John Quincy Adams, so I went online and bought every biography of him I could find. One day, he called me, claiming that we wouldn’t work out long term. He said he loved me but that we had different interests. “What does love mean to you?” I said. “That’s an impossible question,” he replied. I, however, find love to be quite simple. Love is the stack of biographies on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end. — Julia Nicole Camp
how am I supposed to stay sane after reading this smh
Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.
So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.
Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.
That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.
This was a wild ride but the line “he’s a great catch but I don’t eat fish” is so unexpectedly good

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YEAHHHHHH
MAN, SHUT YOUR ASS!! I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP HERE!
Wake up
people who don't follow chess I promise this post is really funny
Karpov had cemented his position as the world's best player and world champion by the time Garry Kasparov arrived on the scene. In their first match, the World Chess Championship 1984 in Moscow, the first player to win six games would win the match. Karpov built a 4–0 lead after nine games. The next 17 games were drawn, setting a record for world title matches, and it took Karpov until game 27 to gain his fifth win. In game 31, Karpov had a winning position but failed to take advantage and settled for a draw. He lost the next game, after which 14 more draws ensued. Karpov held a solidly winning position in Game 41, but again blundered and had to settle for a draw. After Kasparov won games 47 and 48, FIDE President Florencio Campomanes unilaterally terminated the match, citing the players' health. Karpov is said to have lost 10 kg over the course of the match. The match had lasted an unprecedented five months, with five wins for Karpov, three for Kasparov, and 40 draws.
okay, yeah this is pretty funny
LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST
you people aren't CASTING
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

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maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette
spoke to my evil maid and she told me i'm not allowed to erect giant evil black obsidian stone pillars and give evil monologues anymore. she said everyone could see up my dress the whole time. she said theyve all been staring at my panties. every time. she said the hero thinks my ducky panties are cute. she actually said that. fuck the prophecy i think i need to just kill myself now instead. i'm ruined.
honestly i thought you were doing it on purpose, why else would you wear cute ducky panties to a monologue event
BECAUSE THEY'RE CUTE AND I LIKE THEM.