Zooble only needs 1% of their energy for this, also Ribbit :')

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Zooble only needs 1% of their energy for this, also Ribbit :')

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RIP John Walker’s self control, it never stood a chance
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
SPIDERS GEORG ON ONE MILLION CREEP GUYS
“average post on tumblr has a thousand notes” factoid actually a statistical error. average post has 3 notes. Spiders Georg, who escaped containment & got over 1,000,000 notes, is a statistical outlier adn should not have been counted
whoever made the decision to make umpires wear cameras... you are a legend
this is genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
beg for your life, tennis boy
"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted
I love how every single Georg post observes the original's typo
i like that you said "observe" instead of "preserve," implying this has religious importance.

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I know this is going to make me sound pretensions but I have to get it off my chest. I feel an unimaginable rage when someone posts a photo and is like "this picture looks like a renaissance painting lol" when the photo clearly has the lighting, colors and composition of a baroque or romantic painting. There are differences in these styles and those differences are important and labeling every "classical" looking painting as renaissance is annoying and upsetting to me. And anytime I come across one of those posts I have to put down my phone and go take a walk because they make me so mad
In case you're curious here's what I mean.
Renaissance(distinct lines, stability and the individual man):
Baroque (bold, chaotic, dramatic):
Romantic(romanticize the simple hard working life):
Do you see the difference?
this post has re-wired my brain in the best way
im so much more interested in a hoo that lets Percy keep the status and power he'd left off with in the Last Olympian and explores how he grapples with that instead of immediately forcing him back into the role of the underdog at the expanse of his prior development. Let the fact that he alone has the title the "Savior of Olympus" mean something. Let the fact that he is the sole survivor of the great prophecy mean something. Let the Curse of Achilles mean something. Let us see how it's a curse and how it could warp his sense of self. Let Percy be on a completely different playing field than the rest of the seven (or even the other children of the big three at this point) and show us how it alienates him.
like call me crazy but I just think Percy being offered godship should have irrevocably altered his standing within the demigod and godly worlds even though he ultimately refused it !!
and maybe this is cheesy of me but idc idc just imagine a SON where monsters and gods alike refer to Percy as "Savior of Olympus" or "the god that wasn't" or "the god that almost was" or anything within that vein and think about how unsettling that would have been for an amnesiac Percy. How unsettling that would have been for Frank and Hazel.
and its unsettling for them in different ways because for Frank and Hazel they're quickly piecing together that the stranger they're traveling with is not just extremely powerful, but he is inexplicably known in the godly world. Monsters and deities recognize him. Title him as something that's inconceivable, impossible really (The Savior of Olympus? The god that almost was?) and then for Percy it's unsettling because even though he doesn't have his memories, these titles resonate with him. They feel right even though he doesn't have any of the context for it because Names have power. Titles have power.
I want to write a book called “your character dies in the woods” that details all the pitfalls and dangers of being out on the road & in the wild for people without outdoors/wilderness experience bc I cannot keep reading narratives brush over life threatening conditions like nothing is happening.
I just read a book by one of my favorite authors whose plots are essentially airtight, but the MC was walking on a country road on a cold winter night and she was knocked down and fell into a drainage ditch covered in ice, broke through and got covered in icy mud and water.
Then she had a “miserable” 3 more miles to walk to the inn.
Babes she would not MAKE it to that inn.
Are there any other particularly egregious examples?
This book already exists, sort of! Or at least, it’s a biology textbook but I bought it for writing purposes:
It starts with a chapter about freezing to death, and it is without a doubt the scariest thing I’ve read in years (and I read a lot of horror fiction).
This book can be downloaded for free on Researchgate, posted there by the author himself:
The Biology of Human Survival: Life and Death in Extreme Environments
I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it
I always reblog this one when I see it on my dash. When someone posts their own art, writing, or music here they are really hoping you will share it.
Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.
“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.
I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.
What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?
I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’
But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]
[camera zooms in on glasses]
[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”
This should win an Oscar

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"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.
"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.
"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver
🌌🌙❤️🩹(day ver)
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i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr
man what did i click on that tumblr thinks im gay
the sign in button?
Jesus will not love you if your a misogynist because he loves his mother very much. You will go to hell for this blasphemy. Jesus did not die on the cross for you to fuck a puppet and also be misogynistic. GOD KNOWS ALL AND YOUR SINS ARE PLENTIFUL.✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️
Repent and go to therapy for the women hating thing. then you will be forgiven.
Mary's last words in the Bible are "Do Whatever He Tells You." She is present many times afterwards throughout Jesus's life and death, but she never says another word. Nothing of note, anyways. Nothing worth being recorded. She was refering to her son when she said this, saying simply that he is to have whatever he wishes. And then she never spoke again. I wonder if Jesus ever asked his mother for advice? I cannot imagine he would. What advice could one give who only knows how to do whatever God asks and never question it? They cannot give the advice themselves or impart knowledge from their own hollow, obedient minds. I despise a puppet who never cuts their strings. I hated looking at her plastic, dummy smile. My father was able to puppeteer her without moving from his permanent spot in front of the television. His voice coming from her mouth without moving his permanently scowling lips. A masterful ventrilloquist. Mary gave up her life the second an angel asked her. Did she have dreams before being asked to be the vessel of God? Did she know to resent the child that took them from her? I wish she would just confess how viscerally she must despise me. I want to shatter her perfectly painted mask. Maybe if she screamed in rage I would know what her real voice sounds like. Did Mary curse God when he killed her son? I don't think so. I think she cried passive and obedient tears. The perfect picture of a mother in mourning. I wonder if a guilty, selfish part of her was relieved to be Mary again, not Mary the Mother of God. Who knows. If you asked her what it was she really wanted, her painted smile and dummy teeth would clack open and shut and open and shut. "I want the same thing you should want, honey," you would hear the Voice of God. "To do whatever He tells you."
Meeting in 🔥Lust 🔥
Lu's doing his best 🥺

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hiding
“so, it’s been going swimmingly”✍️ Earlier that day - bonus doodle x-twitter -based on this photo