#touch-aversion

Some Touch adverse people (lol I'm people) 100% feel sexual attraction. But also still prefer if physical actions were limited to those we're close with, have shown blatant interest in or is initiated by us.

Ooh, no pressure at all, but I do know that my touch-averse and asexual coding for now is a big weakness of CT:OS. I haven't been very consistent with it, and I'm very sorry about that.

In the end, I think maybe I'll split out asexuality to = don't show any sexual scenes, and touch-averse to exactly what you mentioned above, i.e. characters will not initiate physical interactions (MC can still choose to do so).

[ID: Two versions of the same pride flag. The first is square shaped, the second is wider and shaped like a rectangle.

The flag has six horizontal stripes of, in order from top to bottom: light grey, gold, orange, red, black, and dark wine purple.

End ID.]

November 19th 2022. Here's a PDF, slightly shorter version of this post and HD versions of the flags on the web archive. Here's the archived version of this post.

For everyone else who never experiences the supposedly-universal experience of “touch starvation”, I am coining two terms.

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First I am coining the term "solitaremit", to describe people who are touch averse and do not ever experience touch starvation.

Solitaremit is a combination of "solitary" and "hermit" because it's easy to remember and straight to the point, and doesn't exist anywhere else on the internet yet, so it can't be mixed up with anything else.

Solitary + hermit – the Y and H = Solitaremit

Soll-ih-tair-eh-mit (or met, it doesn't really matter)

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I am also coining the term "gregariable" to describe people who do experience touch starvation.

Gregariable is a combination of "gregarious" and "sociable" for people who do experience touch starvation, whether or not they're touch amiable or averse. This word also does not yet exist on the internet, so it can't be confused for anything else.

Gregarious + sociable - the ous and soci = gregariable

greh-gair-ee-uh-bull

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Solitaremit works as an adjective the same way as touch averse/touch repulsed do. IE: "It is solitaremit, it doesn't like being touched and doesn't get touch starved" “they are solitaremit”

Same with gregariable. "They are gregariable, they get touch starved." "I am touch averse and gregariable, I don't like being touched, but I still get touch starved"

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Solitaremity would be used to describe the thing...I can't think of the grammar word.

Example:

"Most of the stress 'caused by' solitaremity is caused by gregariable people refusing to respect solitaremit people's boundaries or existence." “I am researching solitaremity for a story I'm writing so I won't be ableist by mistake.”

I have edited tags related to solitaremity into all my posts about touch aversion, so you should, in theory, be able to search my blog for this word right now on the day I'm posting this and find stuff.

I have no doubt these terms will be shortened / streamlined as time goes on. That's perfectly fine, this is just something to give us a fucking foundation to at least stand on.

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List of the new terms:

Solitaremit / solitaremity / solitaremisia

Gregariable / gregariality

Solitaremit: Someone who does not enjoy being touched, and never gets touch starved. EX: “Murderbot is solitaremit, it never wants to be touched. Solitaremit representation in fiction is very rare, and it's even rarer for it to be handled respectfully.”

Solitaremity: “Solitaremity is treated as something to be ashamed of, because gregariable people are more common, are self-entitled, and have no fucking compassion for others.”

Solitaremisia: Ableism directed specifically against solitaremit people.

Bigotry against touch-averse people in general is called athiktomisia.

Gregariable: Someone who gets touch starved / desires touch, whether or not they are touch averse and would actually enjoy the touch.

Gregariality: “Gregariality is treated as the universal experience, unfortunately for those who are solitaremit, who are shamed for being solitaremit from the moment they start expressing discomfort with touch.”

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What do the flag colors mean?

I picked colors commonly seen on poisonous/venemous animals to ward off attacks. Monarch butterflies and other insects that eat milkweed for the yellow, orange, red, and black, poison dart frogs for the purple, and cottonmouths specifically for the light grey.

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Can I use this pride flag for art?

Yes. I'm the one who made it, and I say it's public domain because fuck capitalism. Use it for literally anything you fucking want. Credit is not even necessary, though I will ask that, whenever possible, you include an image description, as well as sharing HD images of the flags with those who don't have them.

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Some suggested tags to use or look through are:

solitaremit

actuallysolitaremit

actually solitaremit

solitaremitiy

canonically solitaremit characters

solitaremit characters

solitaremit positivity

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Who can identify with these terms?

Gregariable: Literally anyone who experiences touch starvation.

Solitaremit: Anyone who is touch averse //and never// experiences touch starvation.

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This term is //specifically designed// to be //exclusive// to people who do not ever get touch starved, and never have any desire to be touched whatsoever, //specifically// so that we can have tags and other things to search without being overwhelmed by people who are touch starved talking about how touch starved they are.

Other terms can be created for people who only very rarely experience touch starvation or anything like that as a spectrum, but these terms should not include as a whole or as a part any part of the word solitaremit, so that crosstagging will not occur, even by accident.

Please just create an entirely brand new word that is unique, just as solitaremit is unique. I made sure these words didn't exist yet for a reason.

The entire point of the coining of these terms is so that solitaremit people can find posts by others with the same apparently impossibly rare experiences. Who fucking knows, maybe there's more of us than anyone things.

I am EXPLICITY requesting that people further down the line NOT to create a term like “solitaremitspec” or use “solitaremit spectrum” or anything like that using the word solitaremit for anything other than to describe someone who is touch averse and literally never experiences or has ever experienced touch starvation.

Touch aversion and touch repulsion are already spectrum. If you must coin a new term to describe a spectrum of touch averse experiences, do not include the word solitaremit in it. Please. That's literally all I ask.

I am not trying to be mean, I am trying to make sure the voices of people like me are not drowned out in the future as they are right now, when everyone, /including other touch averse people,/ whether intentionally or not, still push the idea that it is a completely universal fact that every single person ever born craves physical touch from other people, and is going to suffer if they don't get it.

If you experience touch starvation, then speak for yourself, and make sure you aren't drowning out the voices of those who don't.

Also, to reiterate from another post - the only requirement for being touch averse is not enjoying being touched. You do not need to be autistic, you do not need to be traumatized, there are no requirements for being touch averse except not enjoying being touched.

I will be tagging this post as "actually autistic" because a lot of autistic people are touch averse, but it is literally not a requirement for being touch averse.

Also, for the record, being touch averse is 100% a disability. There are so many things touch averse people can't do or can't do without suffering that other people do not even think twice about.

TLDR:

Solitaremit describes people who are touch averse and have never experienced touch starvation.

Gregariable describes people who do experience touch starvation.

Which, of course, is very strongly tied to my sex-repulsion and romance-repulsion but not all acts of physical intimacy are sexual or romantic in manner. That's where the touch aversion steps in, as well as why I understand demis better than allos (we don't even know most of our mutual well enough, how can people even joke about getting physically close to them???), because this app/website just is. Ugh. Everyone so into touching and everyone seems to be chronically touch starved and even if 90% of those posts are jokes, my touch-aversed aroace ass just has this involuntary "EEEWWWWWW" reaction in my head every single time.

My other problem is my hyperphantasia snd wild imagination which causes me to imagine everything in images which is not helping with the reaction to those three things I feel strongly repulsed by. I literally feel like this every single time such posts cross my dash:

I don't know how to get rid of such posts. Like. No, being my mutual or whatever does not give you a permission to touch me in any way, even if it's a joke meme onlinr that isn't meant seriously. I'm still not your target audience, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

And yeah I know it's easier said than done. It's easy to rant here cos it's me who should avoid those, cos everyone has the right to exist, right? But that's another problem. Sexual jokes are so common. They're accepted. Everyone laughs when someone makes such a joke. But as an asexual, I always feel that my jokes that criticise sexual attraction, are not accepted. I have to listen to/watch others make sexual jokes about someone's outter appearance but no one wants to hear me go "Eeeewwwwee lol XD" because I'd be a party pooper and I guess saying "ewww" sounds like mocking someone's looks. But I'm "grey-aesthetic", most people's looks make me feel indifferent. Some don't, but it's like staring at a painting. Any suggestion of touching makes me gag and want to fight.

July 21st, 2022, for posterity.

athiktomisia:

A term for the bigotry perpetuated against people who are touch-averse.

From the Greek word athikto, which according to google translate means, "intact, untouched, untouchable, unscathed, intangible, inviolate" ect. There does not seem to be a direct translation for the word "untouchable" so close e-fucking-nough.

So yeah.

Bigotry against people who are touch-averse is ableism broadly, and more specifically can be called athiktomisia.

Please use "athiktomisia" rather than "athiktophobia", because treating phobias like they're bigotry is ableist.

Have at it.

I'll be retroactively editing any relevant posts to use this term so they're more specific, so don't be confused if you see it appearing in posts made before this one.