i will never be able to maintain friendships without pretending because everyone is a fucking bother. theyre either better than i, or im better than them. im tired of acting like i give a shit. no one is special. i hate them all
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i will never be able to maintain friendships without pretending because everyone is a fucking bother. theyre either better than i, or im better than them. im tired of acting like i give a shit. no one is special. i hate them all
via 🔺

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thinking, "i despise them. they think im softer and kinder than i truly am. but of course people below me wouldnt understand," when my mask around my family literally consists, and consists deliberately, of being more innocent to hide the fact that i am growing up to be a shitty human
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vagueposting with a doodle
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okay but what purpose is there in life other than to make your brain produce the happy chemical and why cant i develop a major substance abuse problem to do it
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when your life is falling apart around you but you dont care enough to fix it

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Tszpdfw I don't think I'm the ideal person to be helping people with certain things and yet I seem to be constantly offering comfort or advice to people who come to me BECAUSE I'm impartial and detached.
me: types, "see you soon :)" me internally: i Lied. i am not Happy i do not feel the Joy i am a Liar and will be found out Soon
i think
i think im going to add to my my original self diagnosis that i have bpd i think i may have schizoid too