#suicidality

He didn't kill himself that night, but he wrestled with the thought for long after. When it returns to him, he reminds himself that he isn't a livestock animal whose dead body can be fashioned into food or material. His dead body will be an inconvenience. He'll be miserable while he lives but—through silent labour and selfless support—at least he will be useful.

Happy Father's Day!

In another life, where you had had the help you deserved, where you had had the space to breathe, where something had been different, it wouldn't have happened. Sometimes, it's all just a consequence of circumstances outside of our control. None of you deserved any of this, and you all get to hurt and grieve and be angry that it all fell out this way. But don't be ashamed that the pain got the best of you. You didn't fall short any more than they did. You just became overwhelmed.

Dean's actually in Vermont. Dad doesn't remember that this is the same shitty motel where he spent a January trying not to touch his little brother. he drinks himself to sleep and fucks women whose names he doesn't catch on the bed Sam should be sleeping in. one morning he wakes up and Dad's gone on his own hunt. he didn't leave Dean instructions. Dean sits and thinks about cleaning his gun and killing himself, but he doesn't move for hours. no one notices

thank you!!

i am 30 and struggling i am 30 and i hope that death will take its time