#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#assad zaman#amc tvl
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“are you busy rn?“ yes, i’m having a deep conversation with myself in my head
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"Esme didn't thrive on nice," said Nanny Ogg. "Take her an apple pie and she'll complain about the pastry."
"But people don't often thank her. And she does do a lot."
"She's not set up for thanks, neither. Ment'ly. To tell you the honest truth, there's always been a bit of the dark in the Weatherwaxes, and that's where the trouble is. Look at old Allison Weatherwax."
"Who was she?"
"Her own granny. Went to the bad, they say, just packed up one day and headed for Uberwald. And as for Esme's sister..." Nanny stopped, and restarted. "Anyway, that's why she's always standin' behind herself and criticizin' what she's doing. Sometimes I reckon she's terrified she'll go bad without noticin'."
"Granny? But she's a moral as--"
"Oh, yes, she is. But that's because she's got Granny Weatherwax glarin' over her shoulder the whole time."
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
Forgive yourself for the way you behaved when you were in pain. You didn't mean to drag your loved ones down with you. You were only thrashing and flailing and trying to not to drown. They didn't leave because you were a bad person. They left because they couldn't save you and had to save themselves. It's not an indictment of either your worth or their love. You didn't ask too much, they just couldn't be what you needed and had to make space for someone who could.
In another life, where you had had the help you deserved, where you had had the space to breathe, where something had been different, it wouldn't have happened. Sometimes, it's all just a consequence of circumstances outside of our control. None of you deserved any of this, and you all get to hurt and grieve and be angry that it all fell out this way. But don't be ashamed that the pain got the best of you. You didn't fall short any more than they did. You just became overwhelmed.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am allowed to have help. I’m not less of a person or less capable for having help. It’s valid and natural to have help, I am only human. I will not become “spoiled” or “lazy” for receiving and accepting help.
The other day my girlfriend and I got to talking about our strategies for self talk especially re: hobbies and sports.
She was talking about how she has read study after study about the effects of positive talk. if you have a group engaging in negative self talk, one engaging in neutral or solutions-focused ralk, and one engaging in flatly positive self talk, and set them to complete a challenging task -- say, a climbing problem -- the positive talkers will come out leaps and bounds ahead. As a result she has adapted the Bob the Builder theme song into her rock climbing anthem, and she softly sings it to herself on difficult or frightening problems.
Meanwhile, I've been getting into fantasy lit again. As you might know, fantasy heroes occasionally encounter awful mind-warping psychic baddies, who always have some brain attack in their arsenal that tells the hero to give up! you're worthless! you could never win anyway! with the motivation behind the psychic attack being that actually, the heroes are a HUGE threat to the bad guys and will probably thwart all their plans, and that if they could shrug off the mind assault they would absolutely body the bad guy in a fair, non-psychic fight. So whenever I start to beat myself up I internally pretend I'm a Force for Good or like, an anime protagonist so I grit my teeth and go "No... you will not Corrupt me, Demon! I am destined to become the one to defeat you!!" and imagine the unkind words burning away and shrieking like, AIEEEE NOOO.
Anyway, all this to say that the end result of us both having Succeeded at Therapy is that when we run into a really difficult climbing problem she ends up breathy-singing Bob the Builder while I sit broodily on the mat with my brow furrowed doing my best impression of an anime protagonist with beads of sweat dripping down his temples from the psychic exhaustion. Yes, it works. No, we haven't made many friends at the climbing gym.
