#subtypes

Realizing my significant other is a 9 (ENTP) helped to point me toward 6 because a major theme in our relationship is myself getting extremely bothered and thrown off when things don’t go exactly the way I wanted/expected or when I feel a loss of control, and him being very go-with-the-flow and unflappable, and so I am learning the value of being more adaptable. It does kinda bug me that his core type is my line to growth, and mine is his line to disintegration, ha.

 So this leads to my question for you, do you see 6s identifying with 4 a lot (and even mistyping over it), and what are your thoughts on this?

Also — in spite of my breakthroughs, when analyzing myself and others I still struggle to understand the instinctual subtype stackings in a way that isn’t muddled by internet misinterpretations so if you have tips that’d be sweet. Based on another ask you posted, I think I may be sp-blind because I outsource a lot of survival based needs to my loved ones and I’m pretty physically incompetent, but based on my own ask you seemed to peg me as a so/sp 1. Then again, I struggle to identify any meaningful manifestation of sx in myself, other than wanting to be tasteful/beautiful but not in the conventionally expected way, and yet also feeling I can never physically live up to my own image of myself, feeling limited by physical reality. People tell me they’re surprised by my personality once they get to know me better, since in public/professional settings I come off as a lot more modest and agreeable than I am. Socializing in groups is one of my needs, but I’m averse to initiating it and depend on someone else to “drag me along” until I gain my footing and start getting into it. 

Well, I ended up asking more questions than I intended to, once again. And thank you, once again! 

I see 6s mistyping all the time and yes, their go-to is 4, because there’s a difference between a 4 naturally thinking they’re an alien born in the wrong body, and a 6 being hyper-aware of being “other” and “anti-“ whatever everyone else is in favor of; 6s are natural born contrarian attachment types, which means we can mistake our aggressive “not like you” for 4ish image-framing, even though it’s just 6 “doing” 6 things. It does not help that one of the original 6 descriptions, the one by Ichazo, is “some 4, mixed with a LOT of 6.” If he was all I read on the topic, I would identify with 4 and claim it as my type, because he mixes up head type energy, 6ish self-doubt and insecurities, and some 9ish fantasy into it, to create his profile. So, that’s where a lot of the misinformation about what 4s are really like got watered down; by 6 and 9 mistypes calling themselves 4.

Now, having said that… both 4s and 6s can be upset when things don’t go their way and reactive about it; the difference is that the 4 thinks “nobody gets it! Or why this is important! This just proves that nobody will ever understand me!” and the 6 gets upset because all their plans led to this, and now it’s not happening, and what else might get ruined as a result? They are, at the end of the day, fear-based. So if there’s a LOT you relate to about 4, it’s worth considering whether you could be a 4 over a 6, and if so, why that is true (motivation = behavior, and how you think when things happen to you; if you turn it into a self-image statement, or if it comes from a place of fear or self-doubt). You should also make sure you have super-ego to qualify for 6. 4s don’t have an inner voice telling them that things like envy or hatred are “bad” feelings in the way 6s do.

Now, on to subtypes.

TBH, people care way too much about them, and give them far too much weight, when it really boils down to – how much do you focus on your comfort and sustainability (sp), your friends and what is popular and how to build connections (soc), and your personal sexual “flavor” and attraction methods (sx). Whichever one seems the most important, and is hard for you NOT to think about is your primary one, the one that seems relatively easy for you to do comes next, and the one you care the least about/do not focus overtly on, is your “bind spot.”

Wanting to be tasteful/beautiful but not in a conventional way could be tied to 4-ness (“I can never fit the image of myself that I desire” and the social instinct rather than the sexual instinct.

Think about nature, when you think about the sexual instinct. It gives animals and birds specific mating feathers or fur or behaviors they use to attract a mate; screeches, bushy feathers, walking on their front feet, the “mating dance.” What’s your “mating dance”? If you go ?, you’re probably sexual blind.

More bellow!

It relates to connecting from the outside in (Fe) or the inside out (Fi).

Fi is, “What do I authentically feel about this connection?” and Fe is “What is happening between us and how do I maintain or adjust it?”

So + Fe: plugs straight into connection and care, what we have in common, what we agree on, what values we share. Reads the connection as something that exists between us and feels responsible for maintaining that connection. (Checks in, adjusts their tone, smooths tensions, feels discomfort when the bond is strained or they are pushed out, responding to others’ needs or expectations in real time. “Are we okay? Something feels off between us.”)

It reads body language and emotional signals and tracks social expectations. Can over-adopt, care too much what everyone else thinks about them, or people-please. It asks, “How should I come across? What’s appropriate here? What does this situation require of me?” and adjusts their presentation to fit their roles, expectations, or the needs of the other person.

So + Fi: relational from a personal internal anchor, connection must feel real with someone who doesn’t pressure the Fi to change their views. They selectively bond (not anyone gets access to me) and show up in a way that feels genuine, while rejecting anything that feels performative or too expected. (“Do I care about this person? Is this connection real or forced? Am I being true to how I feel about them?”) It interprets others through the self (“if I were them, how would I feel?”). Can misread the situation by projecting their own feelings or values onto it, or misinterpreting social cues / being “too late” to realize what others want from them.

It is aware of roles but not defined by them, and experiences a constant tension between belonging and authenticity, rejecting or accepting what others need or want from them, and resisting external expectations that feel “fake.” They ask, “Is this truly me? Do I agree with this social norm? Can I belong without losing myself?”

Would you say this is accurate? (Created by me vsmp3)

(Sorry, there is no way for me to answer this privately without losing your images.)

I think the sx section still sounds like social. I've known sp/so's to get intensely jealous of other people trying to horn in on their friends, so it's not tied to the sexual instinct specifically; it's more "this person is mine and you can't have them." I've known sx-blinds who were obsessed with their friends -- a misuse of their weak sx instinct (not knowing where that passion and intensity should be going, into a significant other).

Connection, communication, etc., is all the social instinct. Sexual is about chemistry and energetic exchanges, so in a platonic relationship, it would be -- do I have chemistry with my friend? Is it interesting? If the chemistry is fading, how do I reignite it or is the relationship over? Is there tension and excitement and a spark in our engagements? How do I keep this intense, and if it's not intense, do I care anymore?

The social instinct is where texting, chatting, constant togetherness, sharing everything, etc., comes in. Social doms are actually a lot more selective about their friends, romantic others, and social engagements than secondary socials; they know that their friends say something about who they are, so they are discriminating and picky. If being a friend takes time, effort, and focus, not just anyone "deserves" that part of them. But when they pick someone, they do want connection, shared secrets, closeness, togetherness, talking, excitement.

I like what John Luckovich said in his book on the instincts, that your blind spot is what you’re willing to sacrifice for the other two instincts to co-exist, so for a sexual blind, it would take a huge upheaval to agree to upend my life / create chaos and risk losing autonomy or security (sp) and also risk losing my social status or other relationships (soc) to be with this person. That an sx-blind is going to think about those things first, even if they feel an “intense” pull toward someone (what is this going to cost me, in sp/soc terms?).

So, some movie about some housewife who has been content in her boring marriage all her life, until a passionate stranger comes along and wakens her sexual instinct is… a sexual blind story, because the actual sx user has been living life on the edge, pursuing whatever intense passions come their way, and prioritizing those at the cost of stability (sp) or reputation (soc) ALL ALONG.

For example, one sp-blind I know says she has been homeless and starving before, but she didn’t care, because she “only needed” her love for sustenance. That’s sp-blind. “I don’t care about my physical comfort, my security, whether there’s food on the table, as long as I am plugged into my electrical socket, which is you.”

To an sp user, that sounds nuts. You can’t live off sexual attraction and intensity alone… right?!?

A social blind does not have any concept of why what randos think about them matters; they are confused about why they may not get hired based on social-related concepts (looks, behavior in public, willingness to get along with others, reputation, status). They also don’t see any point in developing casual relationships, because they don’t have the sp + soc notion that relationships = social currency that comes in useful. So, they may not get that promotion they want, because they haven’t made connections at the office.

Yeah, there’s a reason I don’t instinct type characters on my blog, lol. It’s hard to nail them down other than “overall impressions” sometimes. I think most characters show a dominant instinct, and others you can guess at their blind spot, but forming an argument to support it would just be additional work with very little payoff in terms of typing.

But yes, you are on the right track, IMO. Pay attention to whatever seems to be most important to them, what comes up in their focus and dialogue, etc.

SP characters love… experiences, comfort, owning things, going on adventures, their own survival, they are “against the crowd” in the sense that whatever the social dom characters are into, they don’t care as much about.

SOC characters… are all about making an impact on a social level, their friends/relationships, being aware of how their lives impact those around them, politics, social movements, serving a cause, etc.

SX-dom characters are… all about impulses, passion, heat, provocation, sexual desirability, intense attraction, etc. The NSFW characters. They are rarer than other characters, and usually stand out as being a “good example of an sx-dom” (like Six in Battlestar Galactica, she just screams sx/so 2w1).

With “romance,” be careful not to over-type sx; a lot of romance tropes are sx-blind stuff (friends to lovers, a girl finally picking a guy over her job, an intense affair that comes out of nowhere and “ruins” someone’s life or “liberates them” and sets them free – an sx-blind who suddenly discovers the sexual instinct, haha).

—It’s fucking Sunday so live a little (while you clean the house).—

And it’s making me realize… My SO Instinctual Variant happens to… appear more… when I’m in such a state.

It makes me a lot more social, wanting to connect with others, it makes me funnier believe it or not (feels very Type 7), it helps me be more of a part of a group, and it’s very much so enjoyable.

When I am heavily HEAVILY in my dominant Instinctual Variant (SP), as ‘The Wisdom of the Enneagram’ reads……. The stronger, the dominant I.V. (SP)… the more it becomes distorted.

Hmm.

Anyway, when I’m SP, I love my people but I’m just not as sociable and quite frankly I get selfish for my own ‘me-time’ comforts, often shunning out the real world around me.

can you return noncreatures with creature types?