#sp-dom

In the previous post, I did give a brief explanation on why we tag sp, sx, so to our enneagram and what they were, so let’s just go a bit more in depth in that. 

Self-Preservation

This is probably the most rudimentary of all the instincts- the need to protect yourself, your materialistic needs, your immediate relation and surroundings. People leading with this instinct are more likely to: 

Be extremely concerned about the quality of food they eat. They are the types who would most likely keep track of their calorie intake, solely due to the fact that not doing so would jeopardize their health.

Set up a financial plan/ be stingy so that they have enough money to avoid situations that would put their personal needs in trouble

Stay true to the comforts of their life. These people would focus more on their taste, their space, their comfort zone.

They have a very ‘self-interested’ view. ‘Secure yourself before helping others’ is one of their absolute motto.

BOUNDARIES. YOU CANNOT CROSS THEM TILL THEY CHOOSE TO LET YOU IN. 

From the above points provided, you will notice that a huge part of self-preservation is the self. It’s always about what they would get, what they would need, how they would attain something to make themselves secure. It’s not necessary for them to follow all these bullet points. An Sp type can be solely focused on earning money at the cost of their health. Or they could be extremely health conscious to the point that they lavishly spend on the most healthiest protein shake. No matter what they choose to focus on, all of it comes down to protecting themselves by hoarding the resource they believe they lack.

Sp doms can look very different from each other based on their enneagram and their auxiliary function. 

Sp/So usually function in a very business-like manner, due to the social instinct. They make use of their social instinct to secure their basic resources by connecting and interacting with the right people. However, unlike a social dom, they’ll be willing to let go of connections that no longer have a purpose. These types would usually prefer to operate alone, but at the same time wouldn’t really mind grouping up with like-minded people, if it helps them gather resources. 

Some of the most common traits that I have observed in them are: 

They like being with like-minded people who belong to a similar social background. A friend of mine once mentioned how comfortable she was in this group where all of them were the ‘nobodies’ of the class. (Notice that her bonding technique is very focused on finding comfort in people that have a lot in common)

They can easily fit in with a group but, unlike a so-dom, have trouble conforming to everything the group agrees on especially if it is really away from their comfort zone. 

Has weirdly accepted the fact that they’re boring (?) and that it’s okay not to have anything unique about oneself. 

Cannot handle intensity. They don’t understand why anyone in their right mind would run behind intensity. They also agree that many times, their main source of connection with another person is based on how secure they feel with someone, and not based on some random voodoo energy (that’s what they call sx). 

A friend of mine admitted that she was a bit hurt by my way of connecting with people by sx energy since she believes that true form of connection only occurs when people talk and share their like and dislikes. Just walking away from people purely based on intensity is wrong because you never really see them for who they are.  

They remind me of white noise. An ordinary noise in the beginning that grows onto you. Before you realize and understand what it is, you’re comfortably asleep to the softness that it brings. They are weirdly calming.   

Sp/Sx on the other hand, is a lone wolf. Being so-blind makes them the most independent instinctual stacking. Their sx helps them have a very intimate connection with others. However, never expect anything more from the energy that they give off. They can be very nice, but ultimately, if you don’t serve a self-preservative purpose to these people, you’ll be dropped. And not in the nice way like an sp/so would do. They do come off as heartless, self-centered and egocentric, due to being so-blind. 

Some of the most common traits that I have observed in them are:

Not really interested in the groups around them. Nor are they bothered if they can’t fit in. 

Always has an air of indifference around them that is either extremely off putting or excitingly mysterious. 

No matter how distant they are, there’ll be a clear distinction in the way they interact with people who they’re genuinely interested in, and in those they aren’t.

When they actually like someone, 1 out of the 10 wall that are built around them will open up.

They’re boundaries are stronger than the nuclear force attraction. 

The sp/sx in my life are actually pretty confident about their appeal, but at the same time never really go out of their way to display this appeal like an sx dom would, unless they’re extremely sure of it. 

Another interesting thing about my sp/sx friend is that he would never put anything or anyone above his basic needs. For example, if he has a homework due tonight, HE WILL walk out on every single person in that room, without bothering to explain how or why he’s doing it (even if he’s having the most sx-intense moment with someone). 

  He will never approach me or ask me for anything, till I offer to help him. 

Sp-dom works the same in all types: private, gathering of resources,self-care first, financial stability, attending to their own needs, ensuringall their physical and emotional needs are met, before they reach out withtheir second stacking to either ignite conversation and bond through it (so) orfind a soul mate (sx). Sometimes sp can be so strong, it blocks / numbs thesecond instinct. For example, an sp/sx will prioritize alone time / stayingprivate about themselves and may find the experience of “dating to find a soulmate” exhausting (dating is so) – so they may struggle to fill sx needs due tosp being so strong. (Not finding it easy to open up / share / cease being private about themselves.)

Same thing goes for so-doms; their need to socialize, bond, connect, makefriends, have an influence, and focus on others may make them devalue theirsecond instinct – either using so to self-provide (relying on others,rather than directly taking charge of sp-needs, although they still prioritizethe need for self-care and are aware they should focus on it) or falling back into sx with a few people, but losingan intimate connection with them when “out of sight” (so/sx).

Sp blind SJ would have the same trouble all sp-blinds have – neglecting their sp, although with low Ne, there would either be atremendous amount of anxiety about the uncertainty of the future and having notprepared for it, or no thoughts about it at all, certain things in theirlife will never change and the people they are “relying on” to provide sp willbe there “forever.”

Peter Steele

Rust (True Detective)

Darlene (Ozark)

Sandor Clegan (Game of Thrones, even though the spso actor doesn't bring it out as well as the others)

Lisbeth (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo specifically the 2009 version with Noomi Rapace)

Kanye West