The bell had rung eight minutes ago. The professor was late. The class was already loud.
And then, in the cruelest mistake the Hogwarts teaching staff had ever made, Professor Gamp finally swept in—only to announce something that would bring about the ruin of an already doomed afternoon.
“I’ve been called to assist Professor Kettleburn. Something about a rogue Ashwinder in the dungeons. You lot are to stay in your seats and not move. This lesson is not free time, it is independent study.”
A pause.
“I expect silence.”
He was out the door before the last syllable hit the floor. The latch clicked. The hallway swallowed him whole.
A breath of anticipation hissed through the room like a kettle before it screams.
Then hell broke loose.
✦ ✦ ✦
Marlene McKinnon was first to move, standing on her chair and miming an opera performance, quill as microphone. James Potter threw himself dramatically across his desk like he’d fainted from joy. Peter Pettigrew cackled and immediately summoned a deck of enchanted Exploding Snap cards with a flick.
Sirius Black—feet already kicked up on his desk—grinned like the devil had just handed him a bucket of gasoline and a match.
“Well then,” he drawled, stretching like a cat with a death wish, “time to make this interesting.”
Five desks away, Regulus Black had barely looked up.
Face half-buried in a thick book on Advanced Arithmancy. Limbs draped like a cat half-asleep in a sunbeam. Eyes closed. Not meditating, not reading—just surviving.
He didn’t care. Not about Sirius, not about the chaos, not about the noise. Not today. Maybe not ever.
Barty Crouch Jr. leaned in from beside him, smirking.
“You gonna hex your brother if he sets your robes on fire again or just roll over and take it this time?”
Regulus didn’t answer. Just yawned.
Across the room, Sirius picked up a small beanbag charm from the herbology kit on the shelf and launched it with a casual, practiced flick—like he’d been aiming for this moment his whole life.
It flew.
It hit.
Thunk. Right on the back of Regulus’s skull.
There was a pause.
Barty turned slowly.
“Mate.”
Evan Rosier’s eyes widened.
“Oh no.”
Dorcas Meadows put her book down slowly like she was preparing for a storm.
Pandora Rosier didn’t stop painting her nails.
“Finally.”
Regulus sat up like a resurrection, eyes cold, spine straight, and jaw clenched.
“You absolute fucking wart.”
Sirius was already cackling, leaning against Lily’s desk like he hadn’t just committed a war crime.
“Sorry, Reggie, were you napping in the middle of class? How very unlike you.”
“Were you thinking, when you decided to throw shit like a toddler?”
“I was thinking you looked lonely over there.”
“And you looked desperate for attention, but I didn’t hit you in the face.”
James snorted. “Yikes.”
Sirius shoved off the desk and started walking over, the crowd parting like they knew better.
“What’s wrong, baby brother?” he mocked. “No witty comebacks? Still got your mummy’s hand up your ass like a puppet?”
Regulus stood.
“At least she likes me.”
The room stilled.
Sirius stopped walking.
Remus closed his book. Lily’s eyes shot up. Peter’s laughter died mid-chuckle. James turned slowly like a sunflower finding a new sun.
“What,” Sirius said flatly.
“You heard me,” Regulus said, shrugging like the words didn’t even taste bitter. “This is why Mum and Dad don’t love you. Never did.”
“Good,” Sirius snapped. “I’d rather be unloved than be you.”
“Fucking jokes on you, then. They do love me. They just didn’t want you.”
Sirius stepped forward.
“Is that what you think?”
“It’s what everyone thinks.”
Sirius’s nostrils flared. His voice dropped into something brittle.
“Yeah? Well maybe that’s because you had cancer and they felt bad for you, you selfish little freak.”
The classroom went dead silent.
Even Marlene stopped mid-flourish of her fake aria. Alice’s hand hovered in the air like she’d forgotten what spell she was casting. Fabian and Gideon were frozen mid-argument over who’d won their last round of chess.
Barty’s face went blank.
Dorcas’s lips parted.
Evan was staring at Reg like someone had ripped the floor out from under him.
Pandora blinked once and then looked at Regulus. Not shocked. Just... watching.
Sirius looked like he’d just realised he’d lit a fuse with no idea how long the wire was.
“Reg—”
“You remember when I used to sleep in your room when the pain got bad?” Regulus’s voice had gone eerily calm, almost thoughtful. “Remember how I’d cry and throw up all over your sheets because the meds made me sick, and you’d scream at me to shut up?”
“Don’t.”
“And I begged you to sit with me while they took me to get my eye removed—remember that?”
Sirius’s face twisted.
“Don’t.”
Regulus smiled. Cold. Flat.
“And you didn’t.”
“Stop it, Regulus.”
“You told me I was disgusting. Said you didn’t want to see my fucking eyeball because it made you want to puke.”
Sirius’s voice cracked.
“I told you to stop doing that thing with it.”
Regulus tilted his head, innocent.
“You mean this?”
And then—slowly, casually, like he was just stretching—he raised his hand, touched his right cheekbone with two fingers, and slid something beneath the socket.
“REG—”
Sirius screamed. Like, full-body, high-pitched, dry-heaving scream. He turned around and folded over, clutching his stomach.
“No no no no no—Reg, I told you, you PROMISED—”
James looked like he’d just been hexed between the eyes.
“What the fuck is happening.”
Remus whispered, horrified:
“Oh God he’s actually gonna do it.”
And he did.
Regulus Black pulled out his eyeball.
Held it delicately between his fingers like a marble. Turned it toward Sirius and waved it.
“Hi, Sirius,” he cooed. “Wanna hold it?”
Sirius gagged so hard he dropped to his knees.
“I hate you—” he wheezed. “I’m going to vomit, I swear to Merlin, I’m—”
“I cleaned it this morning,” Regulus said sweetly. “With lemon polish.”
Everyone screamed. Everyone.
Fabian yelled, “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK,” and flung himself behind Gideon’s desk.
Mary shrieked and stood on her chair.
Frank made a strangled noise and dropped his quill.
Marlene was laughing so hard she nearly passed out.
Lily was frozen mid-reach toward Sirius like she didn’t know whether to comfort him or hex them both.
Barty?
Laughing.
Cackling.
Lying on the floor like he’d just seen the face of God and it was this.
Pandora clapped politely like she was at a ballet.
Evan whispered:
“Is it glass or—”
“Yes,” Regulus said pleasantly, turning toward the room, cradling the eye in his palm like a gemstone. “I had cancer when I was a kid. Got to my eye. They had to take it. I have a bunch of these now—some normal, some cool. Got one with a moon carved into it. One that glows in the dark. One that looks like a cat eye.”
“Reg,” Dorcas said faintly, “put it back.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t feel my legs.”
“Oh.” Regulus paused, then sighed and popped it neatly back in like a puzzle piece. Blinked twice. Shrugged.
“Better?”
Sirius was still heaving in the corner, slumped over Lily’s lap.
“I’m gonna kill you.”
“You tried that once already. Remember? You tripped me down the stairs. And I landed on your potions project.”
“You’re the fucking devil.”
“And you’re still a dramatic bitch with a weak stomach.”
Barty, still wheezing:
“Can’t believe I’ve known you for six years and you just now pulled this card.”
Regulus dusted off his sleeves.
“Didn’t want to waste it on amateurs.”
Silence. Heavy. Stunned. Reverent. And then—
The door opened.
Professor Gamp returned, windswept and frazzled, holding a smoking flask.
“Right then, what’d I miss?”
Everyone turned.
Everyone pointed at Regulus.
Regulus smiled and raised his hand in a lazy wave.
“I taught my brother a valuable lesson.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Sirius was excused from class.
Regulus got detention.
And no one ever left them alone in a classroom again.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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For everyone not up to speed, My online sibling @dinodawolf and I are currently at Shipping war with eachother, and are going to let the good people of tumblr decide who wins it >:) These are the rules of this shipping war: https://www.tumblr.com/dinodawolf/774175281496850432/hear-yee-hear-yee-a-shipping-war-has-been?source=share
But yeah This is part oen of Phase one, I chose Vi and Caitlyn from arcane (because yes) and then there's David plus Becky from The sorcerer's apprentice (I need more people to acknowledge this movies existence PLEASE, IT'S SO FUNNY-) as my ship choices :3
Here's the Violyn one without the references:
Anyways hrrggggggggggg Bye :D I think I did a pretty alright job at this one chat ^^
buckle up folks this is a long one but it’s worth it i promise
so my sister @yesbukowskibitch knows i don’t ship wincest (not that i got anything against it like you wanna ship it go for it i will always fight for people’s right to ship whatever they want, that’s what’s so beautiful about fandom)
and anyway. we’re kinda in a perpetual prank war.
so she gives me this paper when i’m gonna be out of my room for an hour
and i’m like, oh she’s psyching me out haha she’s a dumbass like i would fall for that
and i come back into my room
FREAKING NOWHERE WAS SAFE. UNDER MY RUG UNDER MY PILLOW TAPED ALL OVER MY WALLS UNDER MY CLOCK IS ALL THIS WINCEST CRACK
and the worst part
SHE SAID THERE WERE 88. which could be a total lie, like now i have to find them all but i never will
cuz y’all, listen up, i’ve only found 46. 46/88
which, for reference, covers my entire freaking bed
Yes, my first made meme (sorry it didn't turn out well). Yes, there is talk of an upcoming shipping war between Drakepad (ship between Drake Mallard and Launchpad McQuack) and Delpad (ship between Della Duck and Launchpad McQuack) in the Ducktales fandom, and it's probably already underway. Yes, to be honest, I'm not a fan of any these ships, and I'm not interested, everyone is entitled to their own ship (unless it crosses the border), but honestly, I'm tired of shipping war that really becomes toxic in the fandom of Ducktales reboot. I apologize to everyone, but unfortunately so. Yes, these pictures are from Quack Pack, since there are some very rare images related to memes from Quack Pack, but I inserted the part from Ducktales. Yes, otherwise it is from the episode "Pardon My Molecules", where there is a war between the two brothers (sibling rivarly) Huey Duck and Dewey Duck, and Louie watches the war from the side or neutral, until he decides to reconcile them.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So I finally spewed out something containing the precious Connor. Maybe do a part 2 but IDK.
Summary: Reader gets into fight with Gavin leading to some kissing with Connor.
Making it past the ST300’s upfront. You head directly to the break room, carrying the heavy Tupperware container. You thought it might be a nice gesture for the Detroit Police Department.
Placing the container filled with cookies on the counter. You take the two special containers out of your purse before heading towards the desks. Smiling you place the individual containers on Hank and Gavin's desk. Hank has always been your favorite, so you make sure that he always gets something extra. Not noticing the stare coming from the other side of Hank's desk while you're there.
“Hello. I'm Connor, can I help you?” A soft affirmative voice says. Turning you place the voice to an android standing beside you. You recognize him from the news. He's been helping out with the android rights group. And apparently the one Gavin keeps shit talking about.
“Hi. No thanks I'm okay.” Responding you see his LED light whirl yellow. Before you can respond further an arm wraps around your shoulders pulling you into a hug.
“Hey kiddo what brings you here?” Hank's gruff voice makes you smile.
“Hi Hank. I'm just waiting for Gavin to appear. He hasn't answered any of my messages.”
“Detective Reed has been working a case all night. He maybe sleeping or getting coffee.” Connor informs.
“Figures, the jerk has been dodging me all week. He's afraid of what I have planned.” Frowning you're salty about his excuses.
“Planned?” Connor questions, it's obvious that he is still learning slang.
“It's his birthday next week. I usually do something weird to him on his birthday.” Clarifying yourself.
“Last year she saran wrapped all of his doors.” Hank chuckles setting his coffee down so he can open his box of cookies.
“This year I plan on rigging his desk drawer to shoot confetti.” You make the motions with your hands, demonstrating how much confetti you actually plan to use.
“You met Connor?” Hank nods at the android you been talking to.
“Just now.” You give Hank slightly suspicious look. It’s been a few weeks since you’ve seen him and he seems….different. “You're here early and you look healthy... Awe Hank don't tell me you’ve become a sober freak. What am I going to get you for Christmas?” With an over exaggerated sigh you let him know you're just teasing.
“Nah only cutting back because of this one’s nagging.” He points at Connor.
“If his nagging is what's keeping you healthy. I'm supporting Connor.”
“Don't encourage him. Connor this hell sprite is Y/N, Gavin’s little sister.” Hank grumbles taking a sip.
“Detective Reed's sister?” There’s a lag in his response. You guess he’s probably questioning how much of an asshole you are.
“Don't worry she's not an asshole. Definitely the better one, she calls out all his bullshit.” Hank states.
“I see that you found the old drunk and his plastic wife.” Gavin says sarcastically walking up behind you. Hank and Connor both become annoyed, evident in their posture.
“Gavin don't be rude.” You hit his chest hard as a reprimand.
“I should have you arrested for assaulting a police officer.” Gavin scoffs.
“Go ahead. I’ll claim self defense and put these two down as witnesses. Besides I don't think Captain Fowler will believe those charges.” Feeling cocky you challenge his statement.
“Whatever the two are useless. The android is just a waste of space. Could have been used for better things.”
“Oh my god Gavin shut up! Or I will fuck him right here right now so you will shut up. You can't hate all androids.” You are so tired of this argument.
“What?” Connor questions as Hank chokes on his coffee.
“What the fuck?” Gavin's face scrunches up in disgust.
“Don't dodge the subject. You haven't responded to me all week.”
“Woah woah hit the brakes. You're the one changing topics. What do you mean fuck him here and now?”
“Hhmmm?” Humming you await his response.
“She’s on a roll. Connor you might wanna back up. She's saying things and not remembering.” Hank gestures to his desk.
“No go ahead, what are you going to do of if I don't stop treating them for what they are?” Gavin steps closer.
“I’m got to- You know what.” Stopping yourself, you rashly turn around and grab Connor by the tie. Jerking him down into a one sided kiss, long enough for Gavin to pull you backwards. Connor’s lips feel like good bubble gum. The kind that gets to a perfect soft, chewy level before turning hard.
“That escalated quickly.” Hank mumbles.
“Y/N!” He has a tight grip on your wrist.
“Let go Gavin! Just because of your personal reasons doesn't mean you can be an asshole.” Yelling at Gavin you don’t see the other officers. All of which look to see what’s going on then to walk away because this is a normal thing for you two.
“He's an android.” He points at Connor.
“Who can think for himself and is a whole of a lot nicer than you.” Ripping your arm away you storm out. Gavin glares at you before turning to Connor.
“Don't think about it.” Hank steps in front of Connor. “You might wanna go after her before she really is arrested.” Redirecting Gavin, he angrily walks away.
“What...what just happened?” Connor stutters, a blue blush forming.
“Well Connor you were just used as a tactical move in a never ending sibling war. Score one for Y/N.” Hank guides Connor to his chair.
~
Still slightly aggravated from yesterday. Gavin irritated you so much you flew off the handle. You know you're in the wrong and Connor deserves better. Full of embarrassment you walk directly to Connor’s desk, and wait for him to acknowledge you.
“Hello Y/N. Here to see Detective Reed?” Connor barely responds, still shook from yesterday.
“Umm no, actually I came to apologize to you.”
“Apologize?” You can see the surprise in his eyes.
“I'm sorry for suddenly kissing you yesterday. It was rude of me to jump you like that. I-It's just that Gavin makes me so mad sometimes I just wanna strangle him. And I end up doing rash things.” Reaching into your basket you pull out a small personal sized cake. “I made you a Thirium based cake as a peace offering. I don't know if you do eat food but I made it anyway.”
“Thank you Y/N.” He takes the cake, admiring the handy work. A circular chocolate cake with light blue icing. “Would you like to go out for coffee?”
“Huh?”
“Its just … I liked it when you kissed me. Just like in the rom-com movies Hank watches. The two people are put into a predicament then go on a date.” Connor sets the cake down and stands up. Out the corner of your eye you see Hank blushing.
“S-sure. That sounds nice.” You're totally surprised. You had expected him to maybe accept your apology with the expressed hint not to ever come near him again but not this.
“You know you could also just make out every time your brother is around.” Hank smirks.
“I'd like that.” Connor smiles.
“Maybe, how about we start with that date first. I can show you things that really annoy Gavin.” You didn't realize that Connor was going to be this blunt.
“You wouldn't dare.” Gavin voice comes from behind.
“Oh I would.” An evil twinkle in your eye you grab Connor’s hand and lead him towards the door. Leading a stunned Connor away from Gavin’s furious glare and Hank’s laughter. Connor may need to rethink how rashly you make decisions.
