Their Type

The dating (or lack of) life of Mk!reader in a nutshell

Aphrodite: Hey Peaches.

Mk!reader: Yes, blondie?

Aphrodite: My epic romantic endeavors are always talked about, but what about you? Do you really like none of the fine male specimens?

MK!reader(Deadpan): Want me to go down the festering cesspit of mental illness that are these males in Valhalla? Cause I will.

Aphrodite: Maybe don’t-

Mk!reader (Brought out their tablet): Too late!

Aphrodite: Oh dear.

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Tesla): Tesla is Pedialyte as a person, he’s still trying to find scientific evidence of cooties.

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Raiden, Susanoo & Kintoki): They drink coffee at midnight then go to the gym and wonder why they have trouble sleeping. No amount of abs are worth that.

Mk!reader(Shows a picture of Ares): I once saw Ares get tricked into eating a battery by Loki, my already low opinion of the Divinity has not recovered.

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Forseti, Edison and Jataka): I forget their names sometimes.

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Apollo): If I ever wake up one morning under the delusion that this could ever be a thing, I begged Brunhilde to punch me straight in my face.

Mk!reader(Shows a picture of Zerofuku): Zerofuku is basically my second adopted kid.

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Simo, Tsukuyomi and Heimdall): I feel like if I brush their shoulder, they would have an epileptic seizure. Because I have, and they have.

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Anubis): I have seen this dude hiss at a salad like a feral cat and run around in circles like a dog, you know he’s a jackal, right?

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Poseidon): Poseidon has a lot going for him…with the emotional availability of the temperature sub-zero…

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Adamas\Adamantine): I don’t like Adaman’s hair…Okay admittedly that’s a little petty, but I like what I like!

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Beelzebub): This depressed HotTopic Priest Reject texts me ‘Hey you up’ every night and I’m not, because I’m busy sleeping! Like a normal person at 4 in the morning!

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Qin Shi Huang, Jack and Hephaestus): Are you familiar with the term ‘Mommy Issues’?

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Shiva and Loki): It would happen once, and then become the thing I warn my daughters about when they're my age

Mk!reader (Shows a picture of Zeus, pure disgust on her face): And that’s every God I could be attracted to within Valhalla

Aphrodite (Annoyed): Okay fine! When what is your type?

Mk!reader: Okay, before you say anything, I know what I like! (Shows a picture of Thor and Lu bu)

Her Type

The dating (or lack of) life of Frankenstein in a nutshell

Aphrodite: Hey Frankie

Frankenstein!Y/N: Yes, blondie?

Aphrodite: My epic romantic endeavors are always talked about, but what about you? Do you really like none of the fine male specimens?

Frankenstein!Y/N (Deadpan): Want me to go down the festering cesspit of mental illness that are these males in Valhalla? Cause I will

Aphrodite: Maybe don’t-

Frankenstein!Y/N (Brought out her electric slideshow): Too late!

Aphrodite: Oh dear

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Tesla): Testa is Pedialyte as a person, he’s still trying to find scientific evidence of cooties

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Raiden, Susanoo & Kintoki): They drink coffee at midnight then go to the gym and wonder why they have trouble sleeping. No amount of abs are worth that

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Ares): I once saw Ares get tricked into eating a battery by Loki, my atheism and already low opinion of the Divinity has not recovered

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Hermes, Forseti, Edison and Jataka): I forget their names sometimes

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Apollo and Hajun): If I ever wake up one morning under the delusion that this could ever be a thing, I begged Brunhilde to punch me straight in my face

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Zerofuku): Zerofuku is a baby panda, I’m not looking to date a baby panda

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Simo, Tsukuyomi and Heimdall): I feel like if I brush their shoulder, they would have an epileptic seizure. Because I have, and they have

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Anubis): I have seen this dude hiss at a salad like a feral cat and run around in circles like a dog, you know he’s a jackal right?

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Poseidon): Poseidon has a lot going for him…with the emotional availability of the temperature sub-zero…

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Nostradamus): I don’t like Nosty’s hair…Okay admittedly that’s a little petty, but I like what I like!

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Beelzebub): This depressed HotTopic Priest Reject texts me ‘Hey you up’ every night and I’m not, because I’m busy experimenting! Like a normal mad scientist at 4 in the morning!

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Qin Shi Huang, Jack and Hephaestus): Are you familiar with the term ‘Mommy Issues’?

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Thor, Odin, Shiva and Loki): It would happen once, and then become the thing I warn my daughter Kardia about when she’s my age

Frankenstein!Y/N (Shows a picture of Zeus, pure disgust on her face): And that’s every God I could be attracted to within Valhalla

Aphrodite (Annoyed): Okay fine! When what is your type?

Frankenstein!Y/N: Okay, before you say anything, I know what I like! (Shows a picture of Prometheus in an animal onesie & Buddha in a Sherlock outfit)

I was wondering if you could write this one with a little more spice. How would Hades, Thor and whichever god(s) you choose, interact with a darling that is “insatiable in bed”?

Basically the reader has incredible stamina/sex drive that often rivals the gods’. Thank you :)

-He was regarded as one of the strongest beings in Valhalla, there were very few who could handle him in a fight and walk away mostly unscathed, but you, his darling little partner, left him with little feeling in his legs and pelvis.

-You were insatiable, from the moment he got home to the following morning he left you wanted to jump his bones, your stamina surpassing even his own as you wanted him inside you at every passing moment, even when asleep.

-He felt like he had nothing left to give you, shooting blanks after the third round because you’ve sucked him dry and honestly he was beginning to dread going home, because he knew that you were going to make him blow his back out and you were going to blow your own out after you take control when he couldn’t move anymore.

-He tried talking to you about this, and while you did hear him and understand that he wasn’t as…energetic as you, but you couldn’t help it, seeing his rippling muscles and sweaty body, you couldn’t help but swoon and yearn for him.

-However, you did inquire with Aphrodite about what could be done about this and while she did offer stamina potions to help with his own energy, she believed if you could be more easily sated, then he could rest more.

-So that’s how you and (Love) wound up at Aphrodite’s special adult only store, filled with all sorts of sex toys, looking at different vibrators to use.

-(Love) was very appreciative of Aphrodite, who also hooked him up with her chiropractor to help with his aching back, sending her a gift basket to thank her for her help with everything.

-After that, (Love) had a new challenge, keeping you sated by using the different vibrators you got to help with your energy, giving you mind blowing orgasms, the type that make you forget your name for a while and turn your bones to jelly.

Everyone is probably like 'he's a freak!' Or 'who's kid is this?'

*then eve sees the kid. Goat legs. Wide smile. Horns. And wings. Hes also got multiple arms. Then looks at LA who has those features and laughs at how much he looks like his father.*

*and for more salt? Said kid is dating Aphrodite's kid. Or at least one of them.*

-It was strange, nobody thought you had any interest in dating, letting alone getting together with someone, but you did, and the proof was standing before many of the warriors now.

-The child was as strange looking as you, goat legs, a pair of horns on his head, wings on his back, and had the same giant stupid looking grin you always seemed to have on your face.

-It was honestly surprising how many didn’t put two and two together and realize this was your child, but a few, like Eve, knew right away.

-Your child was just as rambunctious and fun loving as you were, always running around, wandering into places he shouldn’t be, getting chased around, all while laughing just like you.

-You adored your son, constantly holding him up like Simba, telling others to behold your wonderful son to which your child would respond, “I’m his wonderful son!”

-Some thought it was bad enough to have just you, but throwing in a mini-you made things even more annoying, but there were some, like Loki and Buddha, who thought it was hysterical and often joined in on the antics.

-There was one who was furious with the existence of your son, the very same who hated your own, Aphrodite, who thought you were disgusting to look at and your personality was even worse, but that was her taste.

-She hated that your son looked so weird, calling him a freak, but there was a reason she hated him even more, your son managed to pull on of the sons of Aphrodite, a minor love god, and the two were deeply in love.

-Aphrodite tried to forbid her son from seeing such a freak, but that drove him even more to see his love, as your son was nothing but respectful. You welcomed Aphrodite’s child, treating him kindly, but you couldn’t help but grin, seeing how much he adored your son.

-You loved teasing Aphrodite about it, even more so when she would get angry, and you would tease her that she was getting wrinkles from her anger.

I used very small information on people irl who are Hellenic pagans, and the gods seem very nice! So that compared to the ROR gods who want humans dead would be interesting.

I remember doing a similar one to this, only the world where Reader originally came from the gods were downright terrifying, like the worst versions of the gods.

-It was strange, this Valhalla looked so much like your Valhalla, the one you called home, but there were things that were so different, mainly with the gods.

-When you arrived in this Valhalla, many of the humans and gods were curious as you were from another dimension, they wanted to know about your world, like how things differed.

-The gods in both worlds looked pretty much the same, maybe with a few different fashion choices here and there, like with Aphrodite, who was more covered and had better support for her…endowments. This Aphrodite told you to explain and while a bit embarrassed, you did, “She keeps hers leashed with a supportive bra, one that is easy on her back, as she doesn’t want to risk sagging boobs by having them flying free all the time.”

-You explained, while Loki was poking your cheek with a smile on his face,  that your world’s Loki was a prankster as well, something he did enjoy, but he was less violent, not being so quick to throw hands with those who disagreed with him.

-Your Zeus was a true leader, acting mature and fatherly, helping and guiding humans, which had led to a much better relationship with humans compared to this world, and under his example, the other gods of your world followed suit.

-It was a bit humbling to hear, learning of your world where the gods actually did their jobs, monitoring and guiding humans, helping where they were able to without interfering too much, and how much happier humanity was- like there were less wars and suffering and Valhalla was like a paradise where gods and humans got along.

🩷Bonus if she then goes to Aphrodite to ask for perhaps too straightforward dating advice while the fatherly figures are all protesting against it

-When you walked in after school, your family wasn’t expecting to see you looking so upset- you looked pissed!

-You never got pissed, except for that one time that Loki was trying to rile you up and told you that the sun was a planet- he didn’t make that mistake again as he got lectured by both you and Nikola.

-Hercules quickly had you in his arms, much to your surprise as you looked up at him, seeing the concern on his face, “What’s got you so upset Y/N?”

-You were sitting in his lap as you explained there was a new student today, but while normally you weren’t bothered, he was the one answering all the questions first!

-You glared, “No matter which teacher asked a question, he always answered first!” you were upset that this new kid was ‘beating’ you, giving you a challenge as the smartest person in school.

-You kept ranting about him, annoyed that he was giving you a challenge, before your eyes went wide, “He’s giving me a challenge…” you had never had that before- you never had someone that could match your intellect, outside of Nikola and your family, but you were surpassing them.

-Eyes went wide as Aphrodite smiled, holding her cheek, “Sounds like you have a crush Y/N~” they all turned to her in horror, they weren’t ready for that step yet- they didn’t want you dating yet!!

-As you sat and spoke with Aphrodite you realized that this rivalry you felt with this boy was based on admiration- but you weren’t flustered- to you, this was another puzzle for you to solve.

-Aphrodite couldn’t help but giggle warmly as you were treating your first crush like a research project, asking for her advice on how to approach your newfound crush as you were interested in him- wanting to speak with him more and more.

-Your family, minus Aphrodite, who cheered for you, were in dismay when you came back, telling them that the boy had found your direct approach unique but also attractive and the two of you were now dating and had a date planned at the aquarium.