#ror ares

Hey it’s True

Ares (Proudly): Okay, let's talk planets. Jupiter is a gas giant

Frankenstein!Y/N (Deadpan): So’s Zeus. How does that help me?

Hermes (Dying, biting his lip to prevent him from laughing):

He was so CLOSE!!!

Zeus (Eating): Hermes, do you want some?

Hermes: Lord Zeus, you really shouldn’t eat and talk you might-

Zeus (Begins choking): …!

Hermes (Surprised): Future sight

Zeus (Choking): Help-! Help!!

Hermes: Don’t worry Lord Zeus, I got you (Goes to help him)

Eldest Daughter!Y/N (Stops Hermes): No Hermes… let it happen…

Hermes (Surprised): Let it happen??

Zeus (Choking): Let it HAPPEN!?!

Eldest Daughter!Y/N (Serious): Of course Hermes, look at him, look at his stupid fucking face

Zeus (Choking): Ok, I know you don’t like me, but my looks have nothing to do with it!

Eldest Daughter!Y/N: He did this to himself, it couldn’t be more perfect, all we have to do is… nothing

Hermes (Trying to his his smile): Okay, I don’t like what it says about me that I’m finding all what you’re doing here hot, but I can’t let him choke, that’d be immoral (Thinking) ‘sadly’

Zeus (Frantic, still choking): No!! Don’t!!!

Eldest Daughter!Y/N (Gives Hermes a serious look): You wanna talk about immoral??

Zeus (Choking): Walked right into that one… Ahhh!!!! (Holds his throat)

Eldest Daughter!Y/N: What about all the women and men he’s touched, the ones he forced himself on, all the million, dirty, awful thoughts running through his head, look!! He’s choking and it’s getting him hard!!

Zeus (Covering himself, still choking): I can’t help it!!

Hermes (Dramatic sighs): But Y/N, he’s my father… I can’t let him choke

Eldest Daughter!Y/N (Dead serious): If you let it happen Hermes… I’ll let it happen

Hermes (Complete 180): Wait really?? (Looks very hopeful)

Zeus (Choking): I’m DOOMED…!! (Falls to the floor)

Hermes: But what about the main storyline?

Eldest Daughter!Y/N (Still serious): Fuck the main storyline

Hermes: What about Quetzalcoatl and the fandom??

Eldest Daughter!Y/N: You and me are endgame, Hermes. The Fate Sisters wrote it in the stars. All you have to do… is let a little shriveled up fossil, finally go to sleep…

Zeus (On the floor, still choking): Oh good lord…

Hermes (Feigns sadness): Oh father, I’m so sorry… (Thinking to himself, smiling) ‘But not really’

Zeus (Choking on his last breath): Don’t be sorry… just… delete… my browser history… (Takes his final breath)

Ares (Sees Zeus on the floor): FATHER!! (Runs and kicks Zeus in the chest, which makes him spit out the food)

Zeus (Gasping): I’m ALIVE!!!

Hermes (Turns to ED!Y/N): Wait, Y/N! I-

Eldest Daughter!Y/N (Gone the moment she saw Ares come in to save Zeus): -Already left

Hermes (Frustrated): CURSES!!!

Ares (Turns to Hermes): What’s the matter brother? Father is alive- (Gets kicked in the face by Hermes) OW!!

Hermes (Proceeds to stomp and kick Ares, utterly furious): WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INTERVENE!?! (Ignores Ares screams of pain as he continues stomping and kicking him)

Haircut

BK!Y/N endured extreme poverty so she’s always acted solely upon survival, not wants or pleasure, even in the Afterlife… which is an ultimate culture shock to Gods, Valkyries and some of the Human Fighters

Black Knight!Y/N: It’s a real pain to get blood out of long hair, so I decided to cut it all off. I don’t care about looking like a dude, you know? (Shrugs)

Apollo (Whimpers): A lady should never refer to herself as a dude! Momma! She’s using those dirty boy words again!

Hercules (Innocently confused): I’m sorry, but who exactly is ‘Momma?’

Hermes: Based on position of maturity, I assume it’s me (sighs)

Black Knight!Y/N (Indifferent): I don’t see what you’re crying about. It’s my hair, not yours, it can always grow back… (Ignores Apollo crying louder and Aphrodite’s gasp of shock from her words)

Ya’ll Basic Bitches

Brunhilde decides that she needs to show the Gods she means business, so she sends in the most arrogant, confident, crazy and brazen of her ‘Four Aces’ but only to size up the competition and to keep the Gods on their toes by being a vague ‘threat’. They’re currently working construction on the Arena for Ragnarok, only for a large black automobile with a red electronic eye adorning its hood slowly pull in, catching the attention of all the entities who are just about to start working on blueprints for the arena

Ares (Confused): What the..?

A fold-out staircase opens and sets up as Frankenstein steps out of the truck, wearing sunglasses and an all black suit as she makes her way over to the Gods along with Igor. She approaches Zeus and takes her glasses off as every God warily watches these 2 mortals

Frankenstein!Y/N: Are you in charge here?

Zeus: Yes, I am--

Frankenstein!Y/N: Nope!

Zeus: My--

Frankenstein!Y/N: Wrong!

Zeus: Name--

Frankenstein!Y/N: I'm in charge!

Zeus: Is Zeus--

Frankenstein!Y/N: Me!

Zeus (Annoyed): The God of the Gods--

Frankenstein then gets super close to Zeus face that their noses are about to touch as she looks down at him like he’s dirt underneath her shoes

Frankenstein!Y/N (Right in Zeus face, whispering): I'm in charge

Igor then holds up Frankenstein’s digital badge to Zeus, showing she working with Brunhilde

Frankenstein!Y/N: You've never seen anything like this before. It says I'm the top banana in a world full of hungry little monkey gods (Points up) Allow me to clarify. (Turns her head to the side, making a servo noise) In a sequentially ranked hierarchy based on level of critical importance, the disparity between us is too vast to quantify (Walks away) Igor?

Igor: She thinks you're basic

Frankenstein!Y/N: I'm initiating a sweep sequence (Presses some buttons on her glove control panel) a 1 mile radius should suffice for the Tournament grounds

On the top of Dr. Frankenstein’s automobile, her flying drones prepare to be dispatched

Frankenstein!Y/N (Towards Igor, not looking up from what she’s doing): Is he still looking at me funny?

Igor: Yes, he is

Frankenstein!Y/N (Holding up one of her hands): Tell him to stop or I'll pull up his search history

Igor (To Zeus): If you don't stop looking at the doctor, she'll take a closer look--

Zeus (Mad): I'm not deaf!

Mother vs MAMA!!!

Hera wants to fight Eve to prove she’s the ‘only’ top dog around Valhalla when to comes to motherhood… her first big mistake, especially because she did so by insulting Mama Eve’s babies…

Hera (Sits down waiting for Eve to show): …

Eve (Storms in after breaking the door down, frowning at Hera): …

Hera (Grins seeing Eve): Finally, you showed your face!

Hera proceeds to charge at Eve as both proceed to fight each other bare handed, both causing much damage to their surroundings as they fight

Ares (To Eve’s children): What took you guys so long?

YD!Y/N (Tired): It takes ages… to get anywhere… on these legs (Referring to her height)

Cain: Are you guys here to stop the fight?

Ares: Yeah-

Hermes (Smiles): At first, but then we realized we’d probably get annihilated trying so… (Takes out popcorn bucket) want some?

Aphrodite (Giggles):

ED!Y/N, Cain, Able and YD!Y/N (All look at Hermes, Ares and Aphrodite as if they’re utter idiots):

Hera and Eve are still fighting

Hera (Overconfident): You fight well, Eve, but as the Goddess of marriage, childbirth and motherhood, I’ve trained my whole life for this moment! Let me show you my power! (Powers up a deadly blast of energy from her palm) Hah! (Shoots it at Eve causing a huge explosion)

The dust clears revealing Eve unharmed, minus her hand as it’s slightly smoking, revealing she blocked Hera’s blast with just her bare hand!

Hera (Shocked): Impossible! How?!

Eve (Serious): I went through and endured the most grueling training upon all throughout Helheim, Midgard and Valhalla!

Hera (Angry): Which goddess taught you?! Was it Parvati?! Was it Isis!? Or was it… (glares) Rhea…!

Eve (Glares): None! It was the way of life itself! I’ve raised not just 4 children and my husband, but all of humanity! (charges at Hera)

Every Goddess of Motherhood, Fertility, Childbirth, Marriage and Family (Feel a chill run down their spine seeing Eve easily beat up Hera, one of the strongest goddess of them): . . .

Hermes, Ares and Aphrodite watch in shock while ED!Y/N, Cain, Able and YD!Y/N can only watch in pride as their mama Eve proceeds to beat Hera until she falls to the ground, clearly incredibly exhausted, meanwhile Eve only has a few scratches on herself and doesn’t look the least bit tired at all, in fact she looks even more pumped to keep fighting Hera!

Adam (Sees the whole fight go down, sighs dreamily): My wife is so perfect ♥️

Blossom!Reader would treat Ares like he’s the kid (Even though he’s over +4,000 years OLD-) as she doesn’t take him seriously because of how clueless he makes himself not understanding things in his region (Warfare) even talking to him like he’s the child (The role reversal in this dynamic was so fucking hilarious being thought of-) as she offers to help him open things instead of him so he doesn’t ’hurt himself’

Buttercup!Reader would be straight up MEAN and out Ares for being ‘weak’, as she punched him through a few walls for talking smack and making it seem as if he’s stronger than he looks (Then she chewed HIM out for lying) her glare makes him shut him mouth real quick if he upsets her

💖 Anon

Poor Ares, Even kindergarden kids treat him Bad🤣😭 oh well, mostly.

Bubbles Reader feels Bad for him, mostly bc she sees how he fights so hard for the aprobe of Zeus, His love, only to meet higher expectation he can barely meet. Bubbles feels sympathy bc she feels like Ares dosen't really like war, but it's something it's expected from him Even if he's more sensitive (like happens with her). So You could Say she feels familiar with His situation.

but Blosom and Buttercup? they show no mercy. i think is not weird sight to see Ares hiding (with his masive built up body) behind Bubbles when Buttercup is specially mean towards him.

man just wants a break.

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Pobre Ares, hasta los niños de preescolar lo tratan mal 🤣😭 bueno, la mayoría de las veces.

Burbuja Lectora se siente mal por él, sobre todo porque ve cómo lucha con todas sus fuerzas por el bien de Zeus, su amor, solo para cumplir expectativas más altas que él apenas puede cumplir. Burbuja siente compasión porque siente que a Ares no le gusta mucho la guerra, pero es algo que se espera de él, incluso si es más sensible (como le pasa a ella). Así que se podría decir que está familiarizada con su situación.

¿Pero Bombon y Bellota? No muestran piedad. No creo que sea raro ver a Ares escondido (con su enorme cuerpo) detrás de Burbuja cuando Bellota es especialmente cruel con él.

El hombre solo quiere un respiro.

F!Tanjiro Reader takes her beloved Ares to meet the hashira to show him her training and while she brought him to meet Muichiro she has to leave for a minute to grab something and will be right back

Muichrio asks Ares if he’s one of the individuals taking Reader’s time and the moment he said yes, Muichrio started beating the shit out of Ares with his wooden sword over and over, though if Ares tries to say he doesn’t stand for anything she represents, Muichrio starts to smack Ares face even harder and quicker (Making Ares scream louder)

Reader comes back and is panicking about why Ares’ face is bruised and swollen, which Muichrio says it’s because Ares fell down some stairs

The Demons Slayers training under him immediately vouch that’s what happened (They finally get a tiny break from the Mist Hashira and have no problem throwing Ares under the bus for it 🤣)

Though Muichrio offers to have Ares stay for a few days to get his reflexes sharpened, which Reader, oblivious to Muichrio’s intent for more bullying, agrees because it’s a huge honor for anyone to learn under a Hashria after all and gives Ares a warm smile and encourages him to do his best!

Reader runs off, utterly oblivious to Ares tears as he begs her to come back and save him! (Not seeing Muichrio behind him with a menacing smile as he raises his wooden sword to bring more pain) as Reader mistakes Ares tears for joy as she keeps shouting her praise at him to do his best! (Not hearing his screams in the distance)

Sorry, this is a bit of a Bullying Ares request, mainly because sometimes my sadistic side comes out whenever I see Ares being, well, himself (I don’t condone bullying in real life, only fiction, and if it’s funny or satisfying in said fiction, like when the bully character gets what they deserve)

-Please don’t leave him Y/N- this little Hashira was dangerous and intimidating, can’t you see the bruises and lumps on him already!

-You had believed your friend that Ares had fallen down a set of stairs, which made you fuss and worry over him, but when Muichiro offered to train him, you beamed brightly, amazed that your friend was being so generous.

-Muichiro couldn’t help but smile at you, you were such a warm and kind person, one that he fully believed that Ares didn’t deserve as you waved goodbye to your lover, promising to pick him up in a few days and to work hard.

-Muichiro was relentless, beating Ares black and blue, and while the other students were grateful for a break, they couldn’t help but feel bad for him, seeing how badly he was being beaten- this wasn’t training, this was just cruel.

-Muichiro was growing infuriated with Ares for not fighting back, mostly because he couldn’t, but after he was healed and came back, Muichiro pointed his wooden sword at Ares, “You don’t deserve Y/N- you’re not fighting back and you’re not strong! You’re the god of war aren’t you- act like it!”

-Ares’ gaze hardened slightly, but it wasn’t in anger, it was more of remorse as he easily caught Muichiro’s sword in his hand, looking completely different as Muichiro leapt back, now disarmed before Ares dropped the sword, “War is not just opposing sides fighting for victory- war is fighting with your life to protect something precious- homes, families, other lives. War is not something to be taken lightly, boy. War is painful, it destroys lives- it destroys everything. I don’t fight back because there is no reason to, there is nothing worth fighting over. Your anger is dangerous- it could ruin you.”

-Muichiro’s eyes went wide, hearing Ares’ words echoing around him and while the others were expecting Muichiro to attack him again, they couldn’t help but gawk in surprise as Muichiro conceded, “I can see why Y/N is with you. You pass.”