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"Some people aren't that special. I used to think I was, but I learned. When nobody believes in you, it's too hard to believe in yourself. When I was ill, I drifted too far away from my friends, got too small in their eyes, but that means I was never big to begin with. I'm replaceable. I'm forgettable. I'm not someone who can change the universe."
Rae, Long Live Evil by Sarah Rees Brennan
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Moral Conscience - Kali Uchis
Please God give me one person to show me I'm not as replaceable as I think I am. As I've been shown I am.
Just once
É sentir medo de ser esquecido e substituído. É ter receio de ser deixado para trás. É querer e ao mesmo tempo não querer apresentar duas pessoas queridas para você. É querer a pessoa daquele jeito só para você. É saber que está errada e não saber como mudar isso. É o carinho de uma maneira mais primitiva. É ciúmes.
-Gabriela Souza não gosta de sentir ciúmes 04 de Setembro de 2017
Is it weird that I'm ok with feeling replaceable?
I'm happy being there for someone... and then silently fading away once they find someone that makes them happier.
It still hurts, but I just want them happy.
Even if it's never with me.
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Knowing that your replaceable is the worst feeling. It proves that you were never needed, nor wanted, and that your absence wouldn't be a burden to anyone. That you aren't one of a kind. In fact, there are multiple different versions of you that are far better. You didn't leave a trace on anyone, and all that remains of your existence is a blur in a memory because you were only temporary for them. That even if someone cared, they would move on in a week, month, or year? All your efforts and attempts were wasted, no matter what you do, they still move on to someone better and leave you behind yet again. They never truly appreciated you to the amount that you did them, and mourning the loss of you would be pointless when you never really mattered to them in the first place.
How I'm crying in bed when I find the girl my friend played with while I was away, on social media. And she's so pretty and talented, streams, sings in a band and working 😭
And I just wish I were her.
Always feeling like I'm so replaceable 🙌love it
