One thing people on Love Island say that always annoys me
One thing they do on Love Island that pisses me off — especially the men, though not exclusively — is when they say:
"I wouldn't want my significant other to act like that."
Or:
"I wouldn't want my partner to react that way."
And every time I hear it, I'm thinking...
Okay, sometimes that's fair.
There are definitely reactions and behaviors that are genuine red flags.
But other times it feels like they're saying:
"I want my partner to react the way I want them to react."
And that's where I get confused.
Because are you describing a boundary?
Or are you describing a character you've written in your head?
Like, is your ideal partner an actual person with their own emotions, opinions, insecurities, flaws, and ways of responding to situations?
Or is it someone who is supposed to follow a script?
Because people don't react based on what would be most convenient for you. They react based on how they feel.
Sometimes I watch these conversations and it feels less like
"This behavior is unhealthy."
And more like
"This person isn't behaving the way I imagined my future partner should behave."
And those are two completely different things.
A partner is not a pet. Or a doll. Or a character you designed.
They're a person.
So whenever someone says, "I wouldn't want my significant other to react like that," my first thought is always:
Do you think the reaction itself is the problem?
Or do you just dislike the fact that they reacted in a way you can't control?
Authors note: oooooh I sound so insightful and deep in this 👌👌👌👏👏👏
