#quickbeam

Plant of the Day

Sunday 8 June 2025

This Sorbus aucuparia (rowan, mountain ash, quickbeam) was flowering in a front garden. These flat clusters of white flowers will be followed by orange-red berries popular with the birds. This deciduous tree is native to the U.K. and copes with tough conditions.

nearly every other free people in Middle Earth have such a concept ( ie, Elf-friend, Dwarf-friend, etc.) so I decided that hobbits do it too. Any hobbit can name someone hobbit-friend, but that’s not a guarantee that their fellow hobbits will consider them their own friend. The exception is if the Thain or Mayor formally names someone hobbit-friend on behalf of all Shirefolk, which has only happened once.

here is a list of known hobbit-friends:

• Gandalf. Obviously. He’s the OG hobbit-friend, upon whom all others are based

• Tom Bombadil: he was given the title by Farmer Maggot. It is unknown if Maggot was the only hobbit to name him hobbit-friend, or if others had done so in the past and his proclamation was redundant.

• the entirety of Thorin’s company: Bilbo named them all hobbit-friend when he left Erebor, in the middle of his “tea at four” speech. This included a posthumous hobbit-friending of Thorin, Fìli, and Kìli.

• multiple Breelanders: throughout the long history of Bree and the Breelands, when hobbits and Men lived side by side, there were many individuals named hobbit-friend by their neighbor for various reasons. The line of Butterburs in particular have held the title unbroken from father to son, usually proclaimed by drunk hobbits in the Prancing Pony wanting to thank and honor their host.

• Boromir: thus named by Merry and Pippin. Pippin was honoring that bond/title when he swore allegiance to Denethor.

• Gimli: Frodo named him hobbit-friend when they were mourning Balin together in Moria and Frodo saw his heart.

• Treebeard: sort of named himself such unwittingly when fitting hobbits into his worldview out loud. Merry and Pippin just accepted it, thus binding it.

• Quickbeam: named such by Merry and Pippin as a throwaway comment that nonetheless had all the meaningfulness necessary.

• Thèoden: named such by Merry when he swore himself to him. He intended to teach him about pipeweed; that was a gift for a hobbit-friend not given to merely anyone. The horn Merry was later given was to honor it, and it was later given much honor in return in the Shire.

• Aragorn: surprisingly, it didn’t happen on the quest. He was their friend, sure, but not specifically a hobbit-friend. But as time went on the hobbits in the Fellowship began to treat him more and more like one, and he was finally formally proclaimed hobbit-friend by Thain Paladin himself on behalf of the Shire after he gifted the hobbits Westmarch and passed the law forbidding Big Folk from entering the Shire. The first king of the Fourth Age was long remembered in the Shire for being the first and only Man to be hobbit-friend to all hobbits. Not even Gandalf was accepted by all, *cough*-Disturber-of-the-Peace-*cough*

Rowan Oliver - Keep It Running (Soundweight)

2024.

Oh, oh oh oh, the chapter title is a mirror to the Fellowship chapter “Many Meetings”, don’t touch me I am cri

Aragorn: “Hello! Don’t ask; I know you want to go back home.” Frodo: “I do. I want to see Bilbo even more. I was sad to see he didn’t come with the others.” Aragorn: “Well, he’s getting really old, dude.” Frodo: “EXACTLY WHY I NEED TO GO.”

In which Arwen gives Frodo her golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s choco—I mean Valinor

Oh and he also gets another necklace

Eeeeyyy resolution to Eomer and Gimli’s little spat!

Eomer and Gimli are the politest, most gentlemanly simps ever

I love how much effort the book puts into acknowledging how honored Theoden was. Eowyn’s fear was that her family would be disgraced and forgotten, with no more dignity than a peasant living in a dirty thatched hut, but all this pomp and circumstance proves that the line of Eorl is still honored and respected and loved.

GHAN-BURI-GHAN

THE CHAD AND HIS HOMIES RETURN

HELLO I LOVE YOU WE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE GOODBYE

I got so emotional about the drums, bruh, that’s literally beautiful ;~;

MERRRYYYYY *sobs*

I LOVE YOU MY SON. AAAAHHHH TToTT

“HAIL, EOMER, KING OF THE MARK!”

They’re in good hands.

Trothplighted! Now THAT’S a word!!

Aww, Eowyn and Faramir got engaged in Rohan! That’s cute :-3

Well there go all my goofy headcanons about Eomer being a cranky, overprotective brother and giving Faramir the side-eye. Even he just likes him automatically. Bummer. And here I was hoping for some funny family drama!

Eowyn: “Whaddya think of that, former crush? :-3” Aragorn: “Couldn’t be prouder :-D”

Okay yeah so when I read the last chapter, I wrote this thing at 3 AM like “kinda not digging how the book barely mentions what angst Elrond would be feeling over never seeing his daughter again ever; even the movies take the time to explore that (even if they paint Elrond as the bad guy who gets in the way of love)”, but at least here Tolkien gives us a mention of it. That’s nice. Please don’t just ignore Elrond’s feelings, the man’s been through enough.

OOH! A gift?? A gift for Merry??? I’m very interested—!!

GASP IT’S THE HORN

THAT’S GONNA BE VERY IMPORTANT ISN’T IT

PRETTY SURE I’M REMEMBERING SOMETHING ABOUT THE SCOURING OF THE SHIRE AND THE HORN BEING VERY IMPORTANT

Aaaand they all hug! Awww!! TTuTT I’m gonna have so much fun drawing this LOL

“And they drank the stirrup-cup”. Thanks to this line and Google, I have now learned a thing about the traditions of the Scottish Highlanders.

Legolas, upon visiting a cave: “Welp, you beat me. I like caves now.”

TREEBEEEEEARD!!

QUICKBEEEEEEEAAAMM!!!

MY FAVORITE TREES I LOVE YOU GUYS

In which Treebeard cusses out orcs in Entish

In which Treebeard admits that he bored Saruman nearly to death!!

Oof, that’s not the smartest thing you’ve ever done, King Tree ol’ pal. But I forgive you. I won’t call mercy a weakness.

I love the mental image of Quickbeam bowing “like a tree bending in the wind”. They are not VERY bendable, but they can be a little bit!

There are no Entings :-C

Gimli, begrudgingly: “FINE I’ll visit the forest, I guess.”

Gimli calling them “my hobbits” noooo 😭😖😭😫🤧😭😭

STOP SAYING “I fear we shall never meet again”, IT’S MAKING ME SAD

Bye, Legolas; bye, Gimli! Love ya both, you hilarious nerds.

Merry and Pippin get one last drink with Treebeard! Yaaaay!! 8-D

Bye, King Tree, I love you!

Aragorn threatening to spy on Pippin and call him back in service to Minas Tirith is hilarious and very on-brand

Ooh, red sunset and a green flame…wow.

That’s so evocative and I can’t find the words to express why.

Bye, Aragorn. Love ya, long man.

Well, well, well! Bo and lehold, look what the cat drug in! It’s Saruman!

Me when Saruman chews out Gandalf: LOL

Me when Saruman breathes wrongly in Galadriel’s direction: oh he’s dead 8-.

Y’know, it’s funny. Grima’s fear of leaving Saruman is a lot like the fear people often have of leaving abusive relationships. However, Grima has everything he’d need to actually make a departure, things that other people stuck in abusive relationships might not—a support system, financial freedom, another place to stay, and people who would help and protect him—and yet he chooses none of it, and goes back to his oppressor. Fascinating.

OOP. OKAY SARUMAN TALKING TO THE HOBBITS NOW, EVERYBODY SHUT UP.

Saruman: “You cruel little urchins. Come to mock an old beggar, have you? I’ll bet you wouldn’t even give me a bit of pipe weed.” Frodo: “I would if I had any.”

That is the KINDEST 1000 IQ gigachad own I have EVER seen. Frodo like, “I have gone through untold hell, but you can’t make me cruel to you, no matter how much you try.” LIFE GOAL: BE LIKE FRODO

And Merry like, “Here, I’ve got some pipeweed, you can have it back.” My favorite hobbits, everyone. The chads. The absolute legends.

*mutters to self* “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; and in doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head…”

Merry’s sarcastic “thank you!” to the curse on the Southfarthing tho X’-D

Merry: “Can I have my bag back?” Saruman, a petty wet sock: “NO”

I wonder if the Shire has a thing where you can like. Sue for damages to person or property. ‘Cause that seems to be what Pippin is implying here by “what about our claim for kidnapping us”. In which case, Pippin half-joking about suing a wizard is VERY HECKING FUNNY

Also would like to point out that Sam didn’t say a word until Saruman was gone. I can only imagine he was just sitting in the background glaring at him the whole time.

Aaaand they let him go. Hahaha. Doom.

In which Gandalf, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Elrond speak in telepathy, wooo~

In which Sam still wants to see Elves, even after he’s been riding with Elves this whole time

BILBOOOOOOOOOO

BILBO MY LOVE I’VE MISSED YOU

Just the fact that the hobbits run to find him without taking off their coats or eating or washing up. That’s like charging into a house to see somebody, with your coat and shoes still on, leaving dirt on the carpet but neither of you care. It’s so emotional and full of love and I just aaaaahhhh— 🥹😭🥹🤧😭

Bilbo will never not be competitive, LOL! “I wanna be older than the Old Took!”

“How splendid! How wonderful! But where were we?” Bilbo I love you

“Yeah I was invited to Aragorn’s wedding and all that, but I was busy and I didn’t want to pack.” BILBO I LOVE YOU

“Didn’t go to the wedding because I couldn’t be arsed” is such a HUGE MOOD

Ohh, the melancholy of watching the weather changing and knowing you’ll soon have to leave

Also Frodo and Sam same brain

“Except the Sea.” Stopppp I’m gonna cry—

“To their delight, Gandalf said: ‘I think I shall come too. At least as far as Bree. I want to see Butterbur.’” AND ROAST HIS TOES

Aww Bilbo getting old and forgetful. It hurts, but it’s so sweet ;u;

“May come in useful, if you think of getting married, Sam.” 8-D 8-D 8-D hahaha yesss, tease the boy

Bilbo: “I don’t have gifts for you.” Pippin: “Okay, but consider: what if we sass you?” Bilbo: “Haha, you make me so proud! I lied. Have some pipes.”

Bilbo: “B-T-dubs, where’s my ring?” Frodo: “Er, I kind of threw it into a volcano, Bilbo.” Bilbo: “Oh, yes, that’s right! That’s what the whole thing was about, isn’t it? Silly me.”

Bilbo being just as interested in oliphaunts as Sam ;u;

REPRISE OF “THE ROAD GOES EVER ON!” SHUT UP I CRI

Just the way they let him nap for a while before talking again. It’s such natural comedy, and also very sweet and warm and full of love and just aaaaahhhh

Also Frodo agreeing to finish Bilbo’s work. There’s something so emotional about that. Makes me think of Christopher and all the work he did to preserve his father’s notes…I wonder if he ever made the connection himself. I wonder if he saw himself as his dad’s Frodo.

And we end with some foooooreshadowing….

Alright, first things first, a few Fellowship folks that I forgot about in my first post. Haldir- Michael B Jordan. Someone who gives off that ‘I’m very in control of myself, but deep down I want to stab you in the eyeball’ vibe.

Radagast:  I’m going with Golda Rosheuvel. That’s it. That’s the choice. You get lady Radagast and you’re going to like it.

Okay, now to Rohan!

Eomer- Hrithik Roshan I don’t really know what else I have to tell you aside from this gif. Except maybe that you should watch Jodhaa Ackbar if you haven’t already.

Theoden- It’s got to be Amitabh Bachchan be, but full on gray hair. 

Theodred- if they did show him in the movies again, then I would have Shah Rukh Khan play him. And I will be doubly sad for me, because of my personal headcanon of  the friendship/possible romance that he and Eowyn would have had.

Eowyn - Kajol  She does great at being a tough girl in a world that wants her to be softer. I’m still salty that there aren’t more SRK/Kajol movies out there, because Bollywood is just as bad as Hollywood with putting women on the shelf. 

Grima: Jason Issacs. (Side note: Jason Issacs should have been cast as Voldemort. I SAID WHAT I SAID. But this isn’t an HP dreamcast post, so we can move on). So listen, Brad Dourif is a great actor. But they made Grima so creepy and gross that it’s hard to imagine how he ever got his role as right hand to Theoden. You see Jason Isaacs do his magic and you’re like “Yea, I get it. Maybe I also want Jason Isaacs to tell me what to do.” 

Faramir- David Wenham is so good in this role, especially when cast next to Sean Bean. Take a moment to appreciate him:

If I was ABSOLUTELY forced to give an alternate, let’s go with Ben Barnes. He can give that ‘puppy dog that’s been punched in the face’ vibe that Faramir needs. Also, as this gif illustrates, he is very good at dramatic head turns. I ship Kajol-Eowyn with either one.

Gollum: I would basically just be recasting the voice actor, and Andy Serkis did SO good. But I Mark Hamil (yes Luke Skywalker, but ALSO the voice of the joker in the seminal Batman cartoon of the 90s) could make gollum less ‘psychotic-child-monster’ and more ‘psychotic old OLD old man-monster’, which I would be down to see. 

Treebeard- James Earl Jones. Yes the voice of Darth Vade and Mufasa. Also Field of Dreams! I should watch that again, such a good movie.

Quickbeam -  Jemaine Clement, for two reasons: one, I think he would be an interesting foil to James Earl Jones, and two, then both members of Flight of the Conchords would have been in an LOTR adaptation.

Shagrat and Gorbag: Key and Peele

I would LOOOOOVE to see this. I feel like they could do some good scary but funny bits covered in latex and makeup.