#past present

It was just that Barrett had been the first to start with Sam on the comms. He asked how things were going and if this was really something Sam wanted. Tempestuous girl, unpredictable, they were always fighting. Sam remembered confiding in Barrett in those early days when he was attracted to Lilu but confused by her. He had just needed someone to talk to, and now he could see that was a mistake. Barrett was trying to get into Sam’s head. He wheedled Sam about how he had taken care of her every whim after she had basically cuckolded him, that wasn’t in Sam’s character. Since when had he gotten so soft about these things, he needn’t despair in finding a classy lady that would be a great fit; Sam was still in his prime. These were all difficult things for Sam to hear, because he felt certain he loved Lilu, and he had hoped his friends would be happy for him. He had been pretty sure that Barrett had been attracted to Lilu as well, in the beginning, seeing as he’d tried to lure Lilu into dumping Sam as a traveling companion in favor of himself, so these were strange complaints, but they had him looking inward.

When Vladimir had contacted the Cherrypopper on its way in to Jemison to mention he’d need help at the Eye, Sam had told Vlad about Lilu’s misgivings and that maybe it wasn’t a great idea at the moment. But Vladimir wasn’t nearly so “understanding” as Barrett and his barely-there charitability. Perhaps it was his time in the rough and tumble Crimson Fleet that gave him a different perspective on love and women, but he didn’t mince words in telling Sam he was soft for giving in like that to Lilu. His exact words were… well, they used the female genitalia as a pejorative.

Sam didn’t like to think he was a macho man. He was raising a little girl, after all, and he wouldn’t want her subjected to neanderthal knuckle-draggers when she got older. And he saw the effects of men like that in the injuries that Lilu received at the hands of Lyle Brewer. Men who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. He remembered Lilu telling Cora that thing about men and women being able to share a bed without sex and that someone who would violate that couldn’t be trusted. He had only been half serious when he had told Lilu he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he’d been forced to sleep next to her without obeying his carnal urges. He would never have forced her or even asked her persistently. It’s just that Little Sam might jump up and salute on his own regardless of best intentions, and he’d have to spend the night with his back perpetually turned. But no always meant no.

However, he knew he was often swayed by peer pressure, and he had a hard time going against the flow. It wasn’t necessarily a need to be liked, although that played into the issue, but also a desire to fit in, to not stand out, to not be picked on or called upon. Being a kid with a famous name can be great, or have its drawbacks depending on the kind of kid you were. With Sam’s his fine features, bright blue eyes, and (at the time) blonde hair, he made an appealing target. He hadn’t been a particularly robust child; people born and raised on Akila tended to be a bit smaller anyways because of the high gravity, and Sam was average in this respect. And because he wasn’t always the best fighter at the time, unctuousness worked well-enough with the other kids. Most of them, anyway.

So, what had he done now in the face of Constellation’s members giving him a ration of shit just because he’d been catering to his lady love for the past week? He turned on Lilu, who was afraid for his safety because she… what? Did she love him, too? If so, that made what he did even worse. He’d given in to the peanut gallery over her, the woman who made his heart skip a beat whenever she smiled at him, whenever he held her in his arms. Just because he’d already been feeling self-conscious with Vlad’s disdain, and Barrett adding to the chorus. He was “pussy-whipped”. Was he going to be allowed out on his own anymore? Was he even allowed to talk to them now? Those comments had been cropping up more and more in the prior week, even a few from Andreja, who was supposedly Lilu’s friend and confidante. Just because Sam’s attention had been focused on Lilu, and he was happy?

Although, add in the fact that Lilu had openly disrespected the work of Constellation. Sure, so had Matteo, but he had been at it a lot longer. She was suggesting they stop looking for the Artifacts. That the danger was too great. And she belittled the efforts that Sam had put into taking care of her through the after effects of each Artifact pull. Like the concern, or in this last case, the outright scare she gave him before she woke up. She didn’t understand what it was like for him from the very first Artifact they pulled at the Empty Nest: a beautiful woman he didn’t know suddenly collapses in front of him, he fears her dead and is cradling her in his arms, looking at her and lamenting he might never get to know her, when suddenly she bursts to life and says, “I love you, too” and springs up to kiss him.

It hit Sam like a bolt of lightning. Of course! She did love him, she had always loved him. She said she had dreamed about him on Old Earth before she had even gotten to the Settled Systems, and the vision she had gotten with the Artifacts had to be a continuation of that dream. But most important was that she was answering the Sam she saw in that vision, who must have told her he loved her, and her response was just that, “I love you, too.” Oh, Jesus, Sam, you are a complete idiot, he thought.

Now the loudest chorus growing in his mind was the fact that he just thrown a grenade into his carefully cultivated love affair and blown it up. Out of nowhere. As far as Lilu had known, up until that moment, things were still in a state of bliss between them. And then… boom. The look of bewilderment on Lilu’s face, the fading love and the rising despair, the agony, the confusion. The words she had shouted at him as he walked away, because what he had done was cruel, were angry, vengeful, and hurtful. He hoped she’d hurry up to the Eye. He needed to apologize to her, to explain why he felt like he did, why he acted out at her himself. He had reasons, if he could get her to understand. The stupidest, most childish reasons: peer pressure from a pair of men who didn’t have romantic partners of their own. Jealous bachelors. And like a bucket of crabs sensing one of their own climbing out, they wanted to reach up and pull him right back in. He had to fix this.

“Penny for your thoughts, Sam?” Barrett asked, as they walked. He seemed almost pleased with the way things went.

“Yeah, next time, stay out of my relationships, OK, ‘friend?'” And Sam continued the rest of the way to the Spaceport and the Frontier in silence, Cora padding along sullenly behind him. It was going to hurt to walk past the Cherrypopper, and hurt even worse to get onboard the Frontier without Lilu. And it was all his own stupid fault.

LILU, NOW:

Doing her best to assemble her visage to cold neutral after the argument with Sam had left her on her own again, Lilu headed up the stairs. She stank from stale sweat in the bodysuit and maybe a little urine. She thought she may have involuntarily peed herself a bit when she had the Artifact vision of Sam dead on The Eye as they were gathering the last piece there on Magnar. Or maybe it had been when she was puking her guts up in the aftermath on the Cherrypopper before Sam was able to get her to keep food, drugs, and cola down. Or a bit of both. She didn’t tell him, it was low-key embarrassing, and it wasn’t enough that she needed to change her pants immediately because it didn’t soak through to the outside. But it was enough that she could feel it now, and she didn’t want to spend another day sitting in it. She at least wanted to clean up and change, but ideally a quick shower would have been nice.

As she hit the top landing, she ran into Sarah who was about to head downstairs. Sarah frowned and said, briskly, “I want you on the Eye helping Vladimir.” What, did she think Lilu was shirking her duties?

“Yeah, Sarah, I know I appear to be heading in the wrong direction, but I pissed myself a bit pulling out this last Artifact because when I passed out, I had a vision of Sam getting murdered on The Eye by the Starborn, scary shit, so I’d love a moment to clean up and put on some clean clothes. So, I don’t have to smell like piss all day, you know?” Lilu was clearly in a foul mood, and Sarah took the hint, her tone turning to placation.

“Oh, that’s awful, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Listen, I’d love to hitch a ride with you to The Eye and see your new ship, what is it called, the Cherrypopper? Fun name, that. Let’s talk about it on the way up, shall we? I’ll wait in the foyer.” And Sarah turned and walked down the steps.

Curiously, Lilu felt her rage fade as quickly as it bubbled up. She was too tired for it, frankly. It was just hurt, stress, and fear that caused the out-sized reaction to one of Sarah’s typical orders. And truthfully, she would feel better having some company on the cavernous ship. Other than when she took off looking for trouble in Akila City, she hadn’t been alone on a ship since she first got on board the Frontier leaving Vectera.

So, she hurried to her room, selected an outfit, and ran to the restroom. Taking care to keep her hair dry, she showered off, groomed herself, dry shampooed her hair, brushed her teeth, got dressed, and she looked as good as new. Except her heart, which was still in tatters.

Going downstairs, she gathered Sarah, and they went out into the cool New Atlantis evening. The two women got admiring looks from passersby. Sarah was a very attractive woman, with her fair skin, ice blue eyes, sleek blonde bob, trim, petite figure. Lilu was very envious of her, honestly. Her mother was somewhat darker than her, but her aunt was very white, her nickname was La Perla, “The Pearl”. She was always the darling of the family, prized for her white skin, green eyes, and almost-blonde hair, a byproduct of institutionalized racism in Latin America. Lilu had so desperately wished to be blonde and blue eyed as a child that when she fantasized about herself, she imagined herself a Barbie blonde in her fantasies.

In the Settled Systems, though, Lilu shared the spotlight. Her height, her strong, well-developed frame wasn’t gawped at with anything other than approval. The extra weight she carried around her hips and thighs wasn’t cause for catcalls or derision. Her bronze skin fit in this multi-racial landscape. Here, she could be tall, strong, brown, unique, and no one had anything negative to say about her physical characteristics. Maybe, just maybe, they’re not looking for the Old Earth version of a supermodel here. Maybe, just maybe, she should start taking that to heart a bit and believe Sam if he says he finds her attractive. Oh, wait, that isn’t a going concern anymore, right? Right? Dammit. They were both fucking hotheads, every goddamned time. They couldn’t live like this, how could they make it stop?

Because it wasn’t settled between them. Neither had said, “I love you.” Neither had said they were in a committed relationship with each other. They were “just friends” with obvious benefits. But the other thing was… they really were just friends. He was her best friend, her only real friend, her ride or die… except for right now, of course… and she needed him, or she was lost. Gah! This really sucks, she thought.

“Penny for your thoughts?” asked Sarah. Somewhere on The Eye, Barrett inexplicably felt a shiver go up his spine as if he’d been jinxed.

“I thought he loved me,” was all Lilu could muster without crying.

“I think he does,” said Sarah, confidently. They were approaching the Spaceport.

“Then why…” But Lilu couldn’t finish the sentence. Her throat closed up.

“Sam is still going through an identity crisis, that’s what I think. He puts so much stock into being a Coe, refuting being a Ranger, leaning into being part of Constellation, being a father, that he never stops to think about what it means to just be Sam. His ex-wife isn’t doing him any favors there, either.” Sarah paused. “I know I haven’t been enthusiastic about the two of you becoming a couple, but I left things alone after a while because it was clear things were happening regardless of what I wanted, so I let nature take its course. I know what drives some of your behavior, but Sam? He has something to prove, a chip on his shoulder, and people like Barrett and Vladimir know how to get under his skin.”

“But if you love someone, you don’t buckle like that because your dude-bros lean on you,” Lilu retorted.

“If you’re Sam, you might. Some of the better decisions he’s made in his life, if he’s shared them with you, and he probably has, were with the support of Lillian. And any recently were probably with you by his side, am I correct?” asked Sarah, and Lilu nodded. “Then if he was approached when you weren’t around to help bolster his confidence, I could see them influencing him, yes. It’s not an excuse, but an explanation. Oh, my goodness, this is quite a ship!” Sarah suddenly shifted topic as they started up the ramp to the Cherrypopper. “What a bold color choice, it almost matches your hair, your flair for style never seems to fail you.”

No, but my flair for men does, thought Lilu, ruefully, as the women climbed onboard the ship.

LILU AND SAM, NOW:

When Lilu docked the Cherrypopper with The Eye, she realized how much of Sam was missing from the flight. From takeoff to apogee to making sure the docking seal was tight, her co-pilot was gone, the sound of his gravelly voice would have been music to her ears, like being wrapped in a warm sweater. Now there was just silence, the clang of metal scraping against metal, and the sound of her own breathing. She hated every minute of it.

She wasn’t sure how to react once she saw him onboard The Eye. She was still angry at the betrayal. She was definitely more than hurt by his behavior. More than anything, she wanted him safe. But did he get a complete pass for what he had done and said? Then again, did she? Her words were cruel, and they must have bitten deep, the way he paused.

Sarah must have read her mind. “Let his behavior be your guide.” Lilu could have sworn she had read that in an Austen novel, but either way, it was sage advice. She nodded, and they went through the hatch into The Eye.

And… there was no one there, at least that they could see. They must have all been deeper in the station. Lilu and Sarah shrugged at each other and went down the passageway. “I hope the Starborn didn’t get them already,” Lilu joked, nervously. But then they saw Vlad appear down a side corridor, carrying a box of connectors, and disappear into the observatory of The Eye, so they went in that direction.

Lilu found Barrett testing some software, and Sarah went to work on installing some monitors on the wall. Lilu turned around and went back into the corridor. She needed to find Sam. Instead, she found Andreja, who was assembling the connectors that Vlad was carrying into the main observatory. Frustrated, she looked around in despair until she heard Cora’s voice, “Dad! Be careful!” Whirling on her heel, she headed in the direction of the sound.

And paydirt! Tucked into the furthest corner of the corridor were Sam and Cora. Sam was welding an access panel back onto the wall, the repairs he was making were apparently finished. He looked up and saw her there, and almost torched the rest of the wall but for Cora snapping him back to the job at hand.

“Finish what you’re doing, Sam, I’ll wait,” said Lilu in as even a tone as she could muster so he wouldn’t feel pressured and make any more mistakes. She could tell by his body language he was nervous, and indeed he was. Sam knew she’d be there eventually, and he’d busied himself right away to help ease the anxiety, but now that she was looming over him, he was a wreck inside. He considered going the quick route, abandoning all pride, and just flinging himself across her feet to beg for forgiveness. But he girded himself, finished the job, straightened up, and turned to face his fate.

Lilu looked at him and waited. And he looked at her, and waited. Cora said, “Are you guys gonna say something?”

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say,” said Lilu. “And it sounded like your Dad said everything he meant to say.”

“No, that’s not true,” said Sam. “I said a lot of stuff in anger, and a lot of stuff that other people put in my head, and it was a bunch of shit. It’s not how I feel, it’s how they want me to feel.”

“Oh, they made you do it?” Sarah’s words were forgotten. This was a grown man, he shouldn’t need a support system for every difficult decision he made, how had he made it this far like that? Especially if he was going to hurt people. What was she supposed to do here? She couldn’t be both the therapist and the patient at their own couple’s counseling sessions.  

“Well, I can see it’s pointless trying to explain it now,” he said, throwing in the towel before he even got started.

“Yeah, Sam, I guess it is, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but when you turn your back on me, abandon me when I thought your whole job was to be my co-pilot, and you just leave me hanging, not to mention whatever interpersonal thing we’ve got going on here, it stands to reason I’m a little upset.”

“You realize I did have a life before this,” he retorted.

“Do you want to go back to living that life? I’m asking you that for an honest answer, not to be a smart ass. Because if that’s really what you want, I’ll stop wasting our time. Both of us.”

“No. Hell no, I don’t. I… I’m just confused right now,” he finished, lamely.

“I don’t understand what there is to be confused about. I swear to Christ, Sam, I’m the one who’s confused. We left to go get the Artifacts after the best week I’ve had since…” and her eyes filled… “since the worst time of my existence, back on Old Earth, something you can’t even imagine, and it wasn’t just Norm dying, there was more. And then this…you pull the rug right out from under me, and I didn’t even do anything. And you expect me to trust you? How?” Her voice was coming out as a hoarse whisper at the end, her emotions crackling at it, and Sam felt his soul melt. He felt like such an asshole. He looked down at his feet, speechless.

She turned away and walked off, just done with the whole conversation. She didn’t want to cry, she was surprised she hadn’t already. Sam was trailing after her, trying to think of something to say. The sad parade made its way back to the observatory. Vladimir looked at them and tutted.

“You color the wrong wires, the station is showing red*,” he declared.

“Shit,” growled Sam, “There must be something wrong with the repairs Cora and I made*.”

“Nastier than I measured. Figured a few of the parts might be iffy, but this is going to take more than a span*,” Vlad lamented, but Sam wasn’t one to shirk on his duties.

“We won’t leave you hanging, Vladimir, Cora and I can stay with you until the Eye is back to a hundred percent*,” offered Sam. Lilu looked at him, her expression reading, No! But Sam looked at her and nodded, It’s ok. The fuck it was. But he turned away and went down the corridor back to where the welding equipment was.

Vladimir spoke up again. “As for you, there’s another matter that needs sorting out. There’s another Artifact up for grabs, in the hands of a rival collector. We need you to go get it. Captain Petrov, owns a salvager vessel called The Scow, it’s like a novelty museum ship, and the Artifact is his new prize. Thinking he won’t sell it, might need a crowbar and bag for this one.”

“You mean you want me to jack it,” laughed Lilu.

“I don’t think there’ll be any other way,” agreed Vladimir.

“Ah, you Constellation folks are funny. Very moral until you’re not.”

“I learned about the hypocrisy of this organization a long time ago. Remember, I came from the Crimson Fleet. Anyway, I want Sarah to go with you on this one. She’s the Chair of Constellation, lends credence to our story of being buyers,” said Vladimir.

Lilu nodded. “Good plan. I’m off, then.”

Lilu marched out of the observatory, saw Sarah loitering just outside the door, and said, “Meet me on the ship, I’ll be right there.” Sarah nodded and smiled, and went towards the docking bay.

Lilu wasn’t about to leave The Eye with at least this one thing undone, regardless of bitter words. She marched back up the corridor where she knew Sam was, and was grateful to find only Cora there with him. He saw her coming out of the corner of his eye, her walk determined, her gaze direct and fierce, and he turned to face her.

She said, “Close your eyes, Cora,” and she pushed Sam against the wall and kissed him, reaching up to push her hands into his hair, darting her tongue into his now open mouth, and he put his arms around her to hold her as he returned her kiss, deep and passionate and full of longing. Finally, she ended the kiss almost reluctantly, leaned back in his arms, and took her hand to caress his face for a moment, her brown eyes searching his blue ones. “I didn’t want to leave without doing that. Just in case,” she whispered.

She pulled free and started back down the corridor. She was almost to the end when she heard Sam say, “Wait.” She stopped and turned around.

“I love you,” he said, plaintively.

“I know.” She smiled at him, lopsidedly, and he laughed. And she turned and disappeared from sight.

Sam was right before. The perfect woman really did exist.

LILU AND NORM, BEFORE (IN THE BEGINNING):

Anyone familiar with the Army knows that command over large theaters of operation is sometimes a scatterbrained mess. And the post-9/11 theater in the Middle-East was no exception. It was probably exemplar in how badly military command can screw up. Granted, it was spread across several nations, many of whom were officially hostile towards the U.S., others whose people were hostile despite their governments' cooperation. Bases were scattered everywhere and sometimes were forced to move operations, supply chains were notoriously unreliable, and orders were based off of imperfect information.

It was in this environment that Norm Etbauer's unit and MSG Marchetti's unit somehow were issued the same orders: to reach a village of Syrian Kurds before insurgents wiped them off the map. "Somehow," said Norm to himself. "Oops." Marchetti had slid him the orders and he was running with it. Together, they were going to solve the problem of Specialist Ryan and SFC McLovin. It would take an airdrop to get up there, and a 25km march in some positively filthy heat, but Norm would save his girl, and his guys would hopefully have the satisfaction of doing a good deed and saving a village.

Marchetti, meanwhile addressed his own unit about the upcoming action. "Listen up, we've got a village 25km to the northeast, Syrian Kurds, they're ethnic minorities here, and our insurgents are heading their way to burn them out. We've got to head up there and help the Kurds mount a defense. We've got a unit of Delta and Rangers coming in, uhhhh, Sergeant McLovin, I think it's your old unit, Master Sergeant Etbauer's."

Lilu looked up, nodded her head casually, and said, "Hooah, sir, good men." And went back to what she was doing as if she didn't really give a shit. She could feel him still looking at her for a beat or two longer and then he moved on, talking about the approach he wanted to take, precautions against the extreme heat, and how much resistance to expect, before the meeting finally broke. Then he came over to her.

"Let me know where to send your Academy Award," he said quietly.

"You like that? You should see me in Romeo and Juliet, I play a mean Romeo," she joked.

"Well, I don't know what Etbauer has in mind, but hopefully, it'll put an end to our little problem. I don't need it any more than you do. A man like that in the field can cause a lot of damage." He clapped Lilu on the shoulder and moved off.

Etbauer's unit didn't make it in until sunset. Everyone said their greetings, but right away, Lilu could tell things were off. Druggers was back to giving her the stink-eye, he knew what this was about, he was no fool, and he was pissed off. His whole thing about the affair between her and Norm was that it didn't affect Norm's duty, or any of his men, and here they were. Specialist Ryan was also giving her the stink-eye because he seemed to sense why Etbauer was here, and he knew Lilu was protected by these men from her unit. And, naturally, she and Norm had to play it casual. Although Marchetti finally said it wasn't casual enough.

"You two are going to have to sit in separate locations because just the glances you throw each other, it's like the goddamned Young and the Restless over here," he quipped. Lilu laughed and stood up.

"I think it's time to get some sleep anyways, I'll catch you gents in the morning." And with one last look at Norm, still smiling, which made Norm's heart fill, she went to her sleeping bag.

"It's not hard to see what you like," Marchetti said to Etbauer once Lilu was gone. "She's easy on the eyes, she's a good soldier, and she's a hell of a shot."

"I know I should never have tried to get with her, or I should have transferred her out, but I can't describe what it was like to be able to fight with her and… love her… God, I hope that doesn't sound creepy. To be able to do that at the same time, you know what I mean? To have a fighting partner, side by side? Like you only see in movies? It was an unbelievable experience. Now, I just want her to get through alive. She deserves to live a long, happy life. Preferably as Mrs. Etbauer." The men both laughed.

The next morning, just before dawn, both units began the 25km hike to the Kurd village as fast as they could in the heat. It was excruciatingly slow going, rest breaks were more frequent than they wanted them to be, but they didn't want to lose any men on the way. But as they got closer, Norm said to Lilu, "Smell that?" And she nodded her head, glumly. It was the smell of charred flesh.

"I think we're too late," said Marchetti. But just then, shots rang out. It was the insurgents, they were inside the village, a skeleton crew holding it. "Get down, everyone, get some cover!" he yelled, and men scattered for something to hide behind so they could take some defensive shots and eventually turn them into offensive shots. The resistance was disorganized and scattered, and with the numbers of men they possessed on the American side, it was easy to push forward and route the insurgents, who fled out the back of the village and into the hills.

The damage was done. No one in the village was left alive. It was mainly the men who had been killed, however, and there was a chance that there were captives in the direction the insurgents had escaped. Norm saw his chance to lead a patrol off into the hills to take care of a couple of items of business.

"Hey Marchetti, let me take about a dozen men and your sniper, McLovin, and I'll see if we can locate any captives up in the hills," he suggested. "Druggers and half of my men can stay with you."

"Good idea," Marchetti replied, so agreeable. Lilu smiled to herself. "I need about six of my guys, let's see now… Johnson, Palomares, Diggs, Davies, Kirsch, and Specialist Ryan, head out with Master Sergeant Etbauer and Sergeant McLovin."

"What the hell are you doing, Etbauer?" Druggers hissed. "This is crazy shit you're doing right now."

"Don't worry about it, it'll be ok, we'll be back by sunset." And they set off into the hills on the trail of the insurgents. The terrain was different than the hills and canyons that they had traversed to get there. It was sandy and slippery on the slopes, impossible to climb up and get a view without making noise and displacing showers of fine sand and gravel. Norm decided against sending Lilu up because it couldn't be done without it being too visible as they moved along. But it made for more risk as they went because they weren't able to get a higher view of what was ahead.

They had been moving down the road for about an hour when they heard noise up ahead that sounded like women screaming. Norm got everyone under cover and they listened closer. It was definitely at least two women crying out, and two or more men arguing with them or amongst themselves. Did the insurgents have female captives they were arguing over? Might be a good time to sneak up and get them, they sounded like they were just beyond the next hill.

"What do you think, girl gunner?" Etbauer asked Lilu.

"I don't know, Sir. It seems awfully pat. Could be a trap."

"And if it's not? Those women might need our help, there may be more than them. Kids," Etbauer reasoned.

"I'm the woman here, I'm supposed to have the bleeding heart. But if we want to add an air of credence to this mission. And it could be a good place to get rid of dead weight." She hooked her head in the direction of Specialist Ryan.

"Let's go then." Etbauer roused the other men, signaled them to be quiet, and they moved up to the hill where they heard the screaming. They were just about to come around the flank, when two beat up Humvees raced around one side, overflowing with insurgents bristling with guns. And then shadows loomed over the tops of the hills that they had abandoned because of the gravel and dust, more insurgents with rifles. There was shouting and some of the enemy combatants fired their guns into the air. Norm and Lilu's unit turned in every direction, bewildered, overwhelmed, their hearts in their throats.

Norm's unit was surrounded by insurgents. It was the unthinkable. That which Norm had sworn would never come to pass in his pursuit of keeping Lilu safe. Norm, Lilu, and the rest of the unit had just been captured. If Lilu thought this was her worst nightmare, she had no idea what was coming. Men were capable of unfathomable cruelty.

LILU, NOW:

Lilu and Sarah found Petrov’s Scow lazily looping around Venus’s orbit. It hadn’t been there weeks ago when they had been looking for Vanguard Moara, so she imagined that Petrov must’ve taken his role as “eccentric collector” seriously, roaming about the galaxy like some sort of wealthy vagabond. A scan of The Scow showed it was seriously well fortified with heavy shielding and giant, powerful turrets. It would take a major warship to make a dent in it, and despite the Cherrypopper’s endowments, it wasn’t a battleship cruiser. Whatever they were going to get from Petrov, it would be through sleight of hand and larceny. Lucky thing Lilu had spent some time with the CIA, right?

Getting on board was the trickier part. Apparently, Petrov had some experience with Constellation through Barrett, and as had proven to be true with so many of Barrett’s interactions with outside entities, it had left a bad taste in their mouths somehow. This further cemented in Lilu’s mind that Barrett was a smooth-talking con-man, not her favorite personality type. She preferred a straight shooter. And yet, she was going to have to lie her way onboard. She’d been told Petrov would succumb to flattery, and maybe he wouldn’t mind seeing attractive women grace his decks.

“Never mind about Barrett. Myself and my other beautiful, young Constellation companion, the Chair herself, in fact, wish to admire Captain Petrov’s famous collection. Believe me when I tell you that the Captain will find us quite pleasing to admire as well.” Sarah rolled her eyes but Lilu laughed silently and put a finger to her lips.

“Well,” said the voice on the comms, “as long as you promise to behave, or we’ll have every gun on the ship after ya.”

Lilu nodded encouragingly at Sarah to say something, and Sarah said, in her posh British accent, “We give you our word.”

“Yes, you sound very nice indeed, go ahead and dock.” And the comms cut out.

As Lilu began the docking procedure, she said, “Men are such simple creatures.”

Sarah replied, “I feel a little cheap going about it this way.”

“Vladimir sent us aboard to steal the Artifact from Petrov. Using our sex appeal to get on board will be the least of our transgressions today, don’t you think? Let’s just hope we don’t have to get violent.” Lilu said, and Sarah shrugged and nodded in agreement.

As they made sure they were properly docked and all the seals were tight, they checked themselves in the mirror in Lilu’s Captains quarters. Lilu said, “Mmm-hmmm, good enough to eat,” and Sarah laughed. Why couldn’t it have been like this from the start with Sarah, wondered Lilu, and there wouldn’t have been so much animosity? Why did she need to be such a hard-ass up front? She was almost likeable now. She’d love to give it another chance if it seemed like Sarah had a change of heart about her.

They boarded The Scow and walked up a small ramp into a ready area where various men were working. A tall Asian man with his hair in a sleek ponytail, very good looking, said to them, “Who let you on board, I thought Petrov was done hiring mosquitoes?”

“We’re just here to see Petrov’s Collection,” replied Lilu. “We hear he found a special rock, and we’re here to catalog it.”

“Oh yes, the rock. He’s not going to sell it, so don’t even bother asking,” the man said, smugly.

“That’s fine, we’re not here to buy it,” Lilu answered, truthfully.

“Go on, then,” and he impatiently waved them through.

The Scow was a maze of corridors, hatches, and hallways, but a unifying theme that seemed to lead them where they needed to go was a red carpet that wound its way towards the center of the ship, keeping them from getting lost. As they grew closer to their target, what could only have been Petrov’s voice came over the ship’s intercom speakers.

“Welcome to Petrov’s Palace of Peculiarities! The pinnacle of perfect procurement! The penultimate panopticon of prosperity! Hahaha*!”

Sarah and Lilu looked at each other and stifled a laugh. Oh, boy, not at all a megalomaniac. They continued following the red carpet up a ramp, around a corner, and then it turned down a hallway that had a much more organized display, unlike the relics that had been scattered about along the walkways. This had glass museum cases, spotlights, rope barriers and cordons, beautiful objets d’arts encased within.

And finally, this last corridor opened into an enormous hall that was stunning on several levels. It had a towering ceiling, which was important as it housed many lawn statues of great height, many of Grecian style gilded in gold leaf, flanking the center aisle. There was a center rug like a tapestry highlighting the feats of Soviet astronaut Yuri Gagarin, which was truly ancient history to these people. To the sides were Old Earth space rovers and telescopes, sports memorabilia, paintings, suits of armor, a dizzying array of museum quality items that would have been considered ancient back on Old Earth itself. Lilu was stunned and fascinated, and she sort of wished she wasn’t there on a mission because she wanted to look around at these treasures.

Comporting herself, she led the way down the aisle towards a raised dais which had a one left-arm settee chaise set upon it, and lounging upon that was an older man in an outrageously patterned spacesuit. He was very pale, as if he never saw the outside air, his thinning, long-ish black hair parted on the side, with a large black mustache and a soul patch. While he gave the impression of good humor, there was a shrewdness in his expression that Lilu knew meant that her and Sarah had to be wary around him.

Petrov eyed the two approaching women appreciatively and said to his assistant, Vadik, a slender, slight man who looked absolutely weary of either the world, Petrov, or both, “Ah, I wasn’t aware we had visitors! Vadik, you didn’t tell me we had visitors*!”

Vadik looked exasperated. Lilu could see the reason for the weariness. Petrov himself had just made the announcement over the comms. He knew that they had visitors. Rolling his eyes, Vadik looked at Petrov and said, sarcastically, “We have visitors*.”

Not missing a beat, Petrov continued, “Excellent! Now that you’ve gone to all this trouble to get here, you should make yourself at home! Relax! Kick your feet up on the tables! I don’t care, they have scorch marks on them anyway*.”

Lilu stood before Petrov so he could take in her long legs, maybe take an almost there look up her skirt, and start daydreaming. “Captain Petrov*,” she purred, seductively, “I’m such a fan! I hear your collection is legendary*.”

Petrov grinned broadly. “Oh, ho ho! Flattery! My favorite pastime! Between you and me, I do have something very special in the vault. Ah, but my jealous heart knows no bounds, I want to keep it all to myself*.”

OK, thought Lilu, like that’s not weird, you freak. “What good is a vast collection if you can’t share it? Besides, we’re here from Constellation. I brought my Chair here just because we heard how amazing the items in your vault were, especially some new strange rock you found. We just want to catalogue it, nothing more.” Lilu leaned forward to touch Petrov’s arm and so he could see down her shirt and admire her round breasts, pushed up into his face.

Petrov swallowed hard and almost looked as if he could weep as he admired them, and said, as if in a trance, “Very well, what’s a quick look going to hurt?”

“I’ll make it worth your while,” she smiled at him and ran her fingertips down his face. Inwardly, she shuddered.

The man was completely garrulous as she and Sarah followed him down into the bowels of The Scow, prattling on about the security measures he had taken to keep his most precious acquisitions safe from piracy, so safe they were almost safe from him. He went on at length about some of the adventures he had been on with The Scow, his career as a salvager. The ship was seemingly endless, and Lilu tried to keep a mental note of their escape route, but it was getting tougher and tougher to do as they went deeper and deeper, turning down various corridors. If this turned into a firefight, they were going to have a hard time of it.

Finally, they made it to the special vault reserved for The Scow’s most valuable treasures, and Petrov used a keycard and a code to open it. There was a guard stationed inside as well, but because Petrov was comfortable with the women, or perhaps he had designs on some alone time with them, he dismissed the guard. He led Lilu and Sarah over to a golden pillar that seemed as if it might be retractable into the floor.

“And now… the moment itself. You can see I spared no expense housing it.” Petrov pressed a button and the pillar began to retract, revealing that it was actually multiple shell layers that nested within each other. And in the center, on a pedestal, was the Artifact, gleaming silver. Lilu looked at Sarah, and Sarah nodded.

Petrov had just drawn breath and was starting to say something about the Artifact when Lilu reached out and yoinked it with one hand, drawing her gun with the other. Petrov looked at her in shock, and then his face transformed into anger. He opened his mouth to yell and, quicker than a striking snake, Lilu shot him in the lower leg. Immediately, he collapsed onto the ground as if it was a mortal wound.

“Wait!” he screamed. “I surrender, I surrender, don’t kill me*!”

Well, thought Lilu, that escalated quickly. “Tell your crew to stand down, and no one else gets hurt*.”

“We give you our word*,” contributed Sarah.

“Done,” agreed Petrov, and he hit a button on his spacesuit that allowed him to speak on the ship’s comms: “Stand down, everyone! Let the nice pirate pass*…”

“You first, Petrov. Don’t worry, this was all we came for, we’re not going to loot anything else,” said Lilu. And together, Lilu and Sarah escorted Petrov back up to his throne room. It was a bit of genius, really, so that way they didn’t get lost. 

From there, it was just a matter of following the red carpet back the way they came. Lilu was, understandably, a bit anxious all the way back to the ship in case Petrov were to renege on his word and send his crew after them before they could get off the ship. But there was honor in these thieves, and Sarah and Lilu got safely back to the Cherrypopper in one piece, Artifact in hand.

Undocking from The Scow, Lilu saw that they had incurred a small UC bounty of 500 credits, a small price to pay. Lucky thing she’d installed a bounty board on the ship. She ran back and paid it, and her and Sarah were now free to head back to New Atlantis and throw this Artifact in with the others.

The sooner the better. Lilu wanted to get back to the Eye. Everything seemed ok with it at the moment per Sarah; it was the first thing she had asked Sarah to check on when they got on board. But she didn’t want to take too long. She was anxious. Maybe nothing would happen, but the sooner she got eyes on Sam, and the sooner they were done with the repairs and off The Eye, the calmer Lilu would feel. She could fight with Sam in New Atlantis and the safety of the Lodge.

She set the grav drive for Jemison and hoped that everything would be ok. She didn’t think she could take losing someone else she loved so soon after Norm. Even if she hadn’t actually said the words to Sam yet.

SAM, NOW:

Sam was just finishing with the wires when he heard the sound of a ship docking down at the end of the corridor where the bay was located. That was odd, he thought Sarah and Lilu were going to go straight to the Lodge with the Artifact. Still, he wouldn’t mind seeing Lilu again first. If she thought he didn’t remember that parting line from the Old Earth space opera movie with the Princess and the Scoundrel, she was sorely mistaken. It was famous and still popular here in the Settled Systems. Even though he obviously wasn’t a Princess or a Prince, she was a bit of a scoundrel in all the right ways.

He straightened up and started down the corridor, but right away, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Something was wrong. And he didn’t have his gun. He looked towards the observatory, but no one seemed in a state of emergency. He turned back down to face the docking bay again.

Instantaneously, a figure in a black spacesuit appeared as if a cloaking device had allowed him to be revealed. He brought his gun up and aimed it point-blank at Sam. He heard Cora scream, “Dad, look out!”

Sam’s last thoughts were of Cora, wishing he could have watched her grow up, and of Lilu, wishing he had told her everything: how much she meant to him, how much he loved her, maybe finally hear her say she loved him, too, and tell her that he was sorry he didn’t listen to her warnings. All this, and their beautiful faces, flitted by in the nanoseconds before the gun went off, and he felt an incredible pain in his abdomen, like a thousand knives. Then a blackness formed around Sam’s vision, closed in on him, and he faded away into oblivion.

Chapter 15 Song: Phobia - Nothing But Thieves

It may be rage or maybe hope I'm at the stage that I fear the most I wanna know your phobia Go on, press send, and we can make friends

I crossed a line a life ago I might be dead, but I just don't know I'm shutting down the internet Big shot hotel, I don't feel well

And I could use some healing soon Before I lose all feeling soon

I get some pills, but not some help From love junkies in their private hell I wanna know euphoria Green light, red wine, and I don't feel fine

I lost a life a line ago You might be here, but I just don't know This used to be the internet Fat cat hotel, I don't feel well

“Hayley-”

Sunwoo said her name the second she’d answered the door, eyes wider than usual, a piece of paper grasped tightly in his hands.

“Did you-”

Her eyes widened as well, a smile pulling on the corners of her lips, yanking the acceptance letter from his hands.

“SUNWOO!” she cried, eyes darting quickly across the text. “YOU GOT IN!”

“Yeah!” he was laughing in disbelief, running a hand through his messy hair. “I can’t believe it-”

But Hayley could; all those nights they’d spent studying for the SATs, the scholarship applications, the work they’d put into his submission essay…

“I knew you could do it,” Hayley said softly, her eyes meeting his.

“Thanks… I couldn’t have done it without you.”

There was a warmth in his brown eyes as they met her own.

“You’re the best.”

And through the worst of times, too-

Hayley’s chest was tight, tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she got out of the car. Her hands were shaky, hitting the lock button on her keys, and then she was walking quickly to the familiar, blue front door of Sunwoo’s house, knocking once, twice, three times-

The door swung open almost immediately- she’d warned him she was coming. And he stood there- black t-shirt, gray sweatpants, his messy mop of hair telling Hayley her phone call had woken him up…

That’d he’d been sitting on the couch, waiting for her.

“Hayls-”

His eyes darted across the features of her face, the gentleness of his voice causing the tears to spill over, slipping down her cheeks, a small whimper catching in her throat as she threw her arms around his neck.

“I never thought he’d cheat on me,” she said somewhat squeakily, burying her nose in his neck, Sunwoo holding her close, his hands running up her back-

“I know-”

His voice was barely above a whisper, sounding almost just as heartbroken as she was.

“I’m sorry…”

We’ve spent years being partners in crime, getting into trouble and getting out of it-

“Hayley this- this is a bad idea-”

“You’re gonna chicken out? When we’re already here?!”

They were crouched behind a bush, shoulder to shoulder, eyes straight ahead on the sorority house across the street-

“I’m not chickening out, I just-”

Sunwoo was shifting from foot to foot, carton of eggs gripped tightly in his hands.

“This hazing thing is stupid, why do we have to do all this?”

Hayley giggled- Sunwoo always got irritated when he was scared.

“Because hazing is a tradition and all frats have it,” she said. “Now are you gonna throw these eggs so I can take a video or not?”

Sunwoo stared at her for a moment before groaning, lifting the lid quickly off the carton.

“Fine.”

He pulled out two eggs, one for each hand, standing slowly, eyes round, darting along the street and into the closed windows of the house.

“Go!” Hayley hissed, phone in hand, ready to record. “While the coast is clear-”

Sunwoo swallowed nervously before he was bolting across the street, Hayley hitting the button on her phone, trying not to laugh as she watched him toss the eggs across the yard, the yolk splattering along the glass panes of the windows-

Then he was turning around, a bright smile on his face rushing back towards the bush.

“You did it!” she yelled, forgetting they were undercover, turning off her camera. “Good j-”

“Let’s GO!”

Sunwoo grabbed her hand, yanking her upwards and pulling her behind him just as they heard the front door to the sorority house open up.

Hayley was laughing, tripping and trying to keep up as he dragged her forward.

And they were running together, Sunwoo still holding her hand, looking over his shoulder.

Beaming.

You were my go to for everything, even talking about guys.

Even when I knew you didn’t care about the hot dude in my history class-

“He’s just so… sweet, you know?”

Sunwoo adjusted the backpack on his shoulder, glancing sideways at her.

“I don’t know,” Hayley was playing with her fingers, a warmth spreading across her cheeks as she spoke. “I’ve been sitting next to Juyeon for a few months now and we’ve really gotten to know one another, and I just…”

“You really like him, don’t you?”

Sunwoo’s voice was a little quieter than usual, and Hayley looked at him, a slow, shy smile spreading across her face.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I’m not sure if he likes me back, or if anything will even happen, but… yeah.”

And then Sunwoo was nodding, his eyes darting from hers as he fixed his backpack again.

“That’s great, Hayls-” he was pulling out his phone, checking the time. “-but I’ve gotta get to class-”

“Right,” Hayley was nodding. “See you for homework night?”

“Tch,” Sunwoo snorted under his breath, but he was grinning all the same. “Yeah. See you then.”

I didn’t know… and I’m sorry, Sunwoo.

I didn’t know how you felt; how long you’d been hiding your feelings.

How long you’d been keeping things a secret…

It was quiet, Hayley and Sunwoo sitting outside, nothing but rustling leaves and chirping crickets to fill the crisp, night air.

They were sipping on bottles of soda- Sunwoo’s favorite Japanese ones- spending a refreshing evening at the park after hours. They were side by side on a boat dock by the lake, their feet swinging in perfect rhythm, toes of their shoes grazing across the water-

“Hayley?”

She’d been spacing out, thinking of her homework, mid-terms, and when she’d have time to study for it all.

But she was caught off-guard by the trepidation in Sunwoo’s voice, turning quickly to face him.

“Yeah?”

He didn’t speak right away, his eyes lingering on hers, pressing his lips together as his fingers gripped a little tighter to his soda bottle.

And Hayley felt her heart skip a beat in her chest at the pure vulnerability of his expression, wondering what was up-

What was wrong-

“I… I have to tell you something.”

She stared at him, placing her soda slowly on the wood beside her before turning back to him, feeling concerned.

“Okay…” she said slowly. “You know you can tell me anything-”

Sunwoo chuckled softly, glancing at his lap, lips pressed together again before his eyes were meeting hers-

“Yeah, I know.”

There was a pause, Hayley waiting-

“I…”

Sunwoo fidgeted, swallowing audibly, Hayley’s eyes darting to the movement-

“I love you… Hayley.”

Time felt frozen, that day you confessed.

When I saw how scared you’d been to admit it- to finally tell me- and I hadn’t known what to say.

Because as much as I wanted to- as much as it would’ve been so much easier if I could just love you like that back…

I didn’t.

“Sunwoo.”

It was all Hayley could say, body rigid with shock.

“I-”

It was her turn to swallow, lips stumbling around words that wouldn’t come.

“I-”

“I know,” Sunwoo was nodding, but he hadn’t looked away in time, not before Hayley could see the pain in his eyes. “It’s okay, Hayls.”

And their legs stopped moving, Hayley’s heart pounding in her chest as Sunwoo stared at the black water in front of them-

“I’m sorry…” she whispered.

You told me it was fine.

That it wasn’t my fault.

That we could still be friends, and you were stupid for telling me.

You’d gotten nervous and jumpy, trying to make jokes like you always do when you’re embarrassed. You’d told me to forget about it- as if I could forget something like that...

You told me you were okay.

Three days later, you texted me, asking me to pretend like it never happened. You told me it was a giant mistake, confessing when you knew I didn’t feel the same, and said you were sorry again, for even bringing it up.

I could tell you regretted it.

I could tell you wished you could take it back.

So as much as I knew you, Sunwoo; as much as I knew you weren’t okay, I decided to do my best to forget about it.

Because I knew that’s what you wanted.

“Hayley?”

Her eyes darted up at the sound of her name, halfway through stuffing her textbook in her bag. Juyeon was standing beside her, already packed, history class ending just a few minutes before.

He looked a little nervous, rubbing the back of his neck as she stood up straight.

“Yeah?” she asked, smiling, an anticipatory flip of her stomach-

“Would you, uh-”

His hand slid to the back of his head, fingering the strands of his hair before his arm was falling back to his side.

“Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Hayley’s heart skipped a whole beat in her chest when Juyeon smiled shyly at her, a small chuckle slipping from her lips as she nodded.

“Yeah,” she answered quickly. “Yeah, I- I would love that-”

Juyeon was nodding too, smile broadening.

“Awesome,” his voice was brighter. “Did you- maybe this Friday?”

“Friday’s perfect,” Hayley replied, a giddy bubble threatening to burst in her throat. “I don’t have any classes.”

And there was a sparkle in Juyeon’s eyes as they met hers.

“Great,” his voice was soft again. “I’ll… see you then.”

When I’d told you about my date with Juyeon, I’d been nervous, and it wasn’t something I was used to.

I could normally tell you anything.

I knew things were slightly different, no matter how much both of us wanted things not to be, and I wasn’t sure.

But you were fine, congratulating me and patting me on the back, even making a joke about how it’d taken Juyeon long enough…

And I thought you were okay- you told me you were- but it turns out…

You weren’t.

Because as the weeks passed by, Juyeon and I still dating, our relationship actually becoming something, you…

You pulled away from me.

Hayley sat cross-legged on her bed, glancing around her empty dorm before checking her phone again.

Still nothing from Sunwoo.

It was homework night; a day she dedicated to the two of them getting work done, so their grades wouldn’t slip.

Especially Sunwoo’s.

But he wasn’t there- hadn’t texted her back, and her chest felt hollow.

This wasn’t the first time he’d done this.

Suddenly, Hayley’s phone was buzzing in her hand, and she sighed when she read the text that’d popped up on the screen.

I can’t make it today, I’m sorry

He’d ditched her.

Again.

I’d asked you about it a few times; asked you if you were upset.

You always told me no.

You told me you were okay.

Just busy.

But you were lying again, Sunwoo.

I’d asked you to talk to me, but you wouldn’t, and you wanted things to be the same, but they weren’t, and I…

I didn’t know what to do.

“Hayley, I’m sorry-”

She grabbed his wrist, stopping him from walking away, his bare skin cold against her palm.

“Sunwoo.”

But Hayley didn’t know what to say; only knew things were wrong- all wrong- and she didn’t want them to be.

“I- I’m sorry-”

“It’s not your fault,” he told her, voice a little raspy, swallowing hard again.

They were in that same park, standing on the same boat dock, the glassy waters reflecting the moon above. Hayley’s bag of Japanese soda sat abandoned in the grass, and they’d never sat down, only stood, Sunwoo’s eyes melancholic, regretful again-

“I don’t know what to do.”

“I know-”

He was nodding, and she could see the wetness of his eyes as he looked away, taking his wrist from hers, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

There was a beat of silence, Hayley’s hand still hovering between them, Sunwoo glancing around the park as if searching for the words.

“I don’t think… I can do this. Right now.”

There was a sharp pain in Hayley’s chest, like Sunwoo had shoved a knife right through her heart, and she froze, hand falling limply to her side,

“You can’t…” she struggled for words. “You don’t want to be… friends-?”

“No, I do!” Sunwoo’s voice was strained, eyebrows furrowed in clear frustration. “But I- I can’t, Hayley-”

She just stared at him, unsure what to say once more, how to fix this-

Hayley knew it was Juyeon- knew Sunwoo was pulling away because he couldn’t see her with someone else, even when that wasn’t fair; when it wasn’t her fault, and now he was going to walk away from everything-

“I just need some time,” he told her. “I have to- I don’t know-”

Flustered again, he was shrugging his shoulders, looking around, avoiding her eyes, lips pressing together like always when he couldn’t figure out what to say-

“I have to figure this out.”

And I’d never wanted a time machine so bad.

To go back to the way things were- see if I could fix it. So we wouldn’t have been standing there in that park- our park- saying what felt like goodbye-

“Sunwoo, I’m sorry.”

But he was shaking his head again, hair falling into his eyes as he finally looked at her.

“You shouldn’t have to be.”

And Hayley knew it was true- knew it wasn’t her fault she didn’t feel the same- that she was dating someone else.

“Sunwoo, please…”

She watched him take a couple steps back, like he was going to leave, and she couldn’t bear it-

“Please don’t make me choose.”

You told me you had to go.

You’d left me in the dark, alone in the park, telling me you had to go and turning away before I could say anything else.

But I don’t want it to end like this.

I don’t want to lose you over something like this.

I’m sorry I don’t feel the same.

I’m sorry if there was anything I did to lead you on.

And I’m sorry that things are hard now.

But we’ve been through so much, and it’s always been us against the world.

We can fix this, too.

It’s been three months now...

And I can’t do life without you, Sunwoo.

You’re my best friend.

Hayley swallowed, eyes darting up from the paper in her hands.

She folded it neatly, meticulously, pushing herself off the brick wall she’d been leaning against, rounding the corner and spotting Sunwoo at his usual table outside the music building.

One cheek resting in his palm, elbow propped on the table, pencil twirling in a steady circle between his fingers; his study habit.

Hayley smiled a little.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she checked it quickly, a text from Juyeon on the screen.

See you for pasta at 7?

Her smile brightened, and she quickly texted him back.

Sounds amazing

Today, Hayley and Juyeon had officially been together for six months.

Tucking the device back in her pocket, she took a deep breath, heading across the campus grounds and towards Sunwoo’s table.

He hadn’t seen her yet, and as she got closer, she spotted the white of his headphones in his ears, blocking out the world as always- the only way he could concentrate, Hayley knew.

It wasn’t until she was passing the table right beside his own that Sunwoo noticed the movement, lifting his head in surprise, eyes meeting her own-

Hayley’s stomach flipped, insides tightening with her nerves, the familiarity of him pulling on her heart strings as she got closer, stopping at the bench across from him.

Sunwoo stared, eyes round, slowly pulling his headphones from his ears, gaze wandering along the features of her face.

“Hayls.”

His nickname for her slipped from his lips like a habit.

“Sunwoo.”

Her voice was tight with emotion, and for a moment, their eyes lingered, so much left unsaid…

“I… came to give you this.”

Hayley stretched her arm across the table, the notebook paper still trembling in her hand, and Sunwoo eyed it before taking the note slowly. He glanced at it for only a moment before looking up at her.

“What is this?” he asked quietly.

But Hayley was already shoving her shaky hands into the pockets of her jeans, taking a couple steps back.

“Just… read it.”

And with one more second of meaningful eye contact, Hayley tore her eyes from his, turning on her heel and walking away.

Biting her lip, she fought the anxious ache in her chest, hoping Sunwoo would read what she’d written.

Hoping he’d give them another chance.