My Poetry

It's tough, isn't it? Waiting for the waiting to end. Enduring all of this uncertainty, wondering if things will improve tomorrow, living with the fear constant threat of everything crumbling down. No matter what comes after the wait, even if your wishes aren’t realized, trust that you received what you needed. It might be difficult to read this, particularly when dealing with trauma, but with time, your heart will find a way to understand and accept all of this.

Maybe it is best to keep your distance when you are too much. Maybe it is better for everyone if I isolate when I carry these demons. Maybe it is better to alienate when I am not like them and never have been.

How do I shed the old parts of myself? Do I separate them into neat piles of yesterday, now, and tomorrow? Or do I tear them off as if my life depends on it? Maybe it does.

It's no longer me and you, it's just me and I don't know what to do.

Do you ever reread your words and think, "Damn, what is wrong with me?"

You cleaned up any hope that remained with a dustpan and brush and threw it into the trash.

Death is tragic, but what about surviving, but they're never the same? We wait around for them to get better, never to realize that they can't get better- this is all that remains.

Oh, the memories we will share forever. The unforgettable tales we will tell of our love and anarchy. Our finite time made for infinite stories and we shall share them for the rest of our lives.

I never meant to make you smile or cry or remember my name. You never meant to welcome the morning sun with me, let alone, the new year and neither of us meant for any of this love or heartache.

I only had to gaze upon one of your stars to fall in love with your universe.

Perhaps the red flags only become visible after the end. But what if there was no end? What if you look back on the would-be red flags as simply milestones that show how much your partner has matured and grown?

Some days the urge to reach out to you is stronger than others. That urge turns to an ache when I remember how you cut that line so very long ago.

Just know that you are not the only one going through this all-too-human and inevitable pain. The grief, the loss, the unbearable weight of it all. Just know that you do not have to carry it all on your own.

Every moment we have spent together will live in me forever. These moments are ours, and mine alone, living in between each heartbeat and behind every smile until the end.