#parentblogger

With my first pregnancy, My biggest fear was always labor. Growing up all I was ever told is the horror stories and how painful birth is and to "never have kids."At 39weeks, I was a mother that wanted my child to stay-in. Labor was hard but, I was able to go threw with the process with only 3 doses of pain medication(they stop at 8cm)and no epidural.Never did I think breastfeeding would be as uncomfortable as it was. I had anxiety induced nursing, everytime I fed my child I would have this feeling come over me and at times I would be emotional. I had a hard time with latching on my right ride which caused one boob to stay bigger than the other. When I got pregnant with my second child, it was no longer labor I was scared of even as I was being induced.It was breastfeeding.

Shout out to all mums that carried a moving lump for 9 months.

Shout out to the mums that cruised through maternity with squinty eyes because dad went to work and needed that extra sleep so you battled the night feed.

Shout out to the first time mums thats started a full time job raising a baby with no experience on their CV.

Shout out to mums that have to then teach dad EVERYTHING

Shout out to dads for trying.

Shout out to the baby that has to swing in a bouncer between the bathroom and watch dad shower (not a pretty site)

Shout out to the parents, both mum and dad who both still look 9 months pregnant because the lack of sleep has encourage a appetite for naughty food.

Shout out to everyone raising a child knowing they are most likely doing it wrong but just keep saying, 'he/she will be OK because I love them and that's all that matters,' said the midwife.

I can't stop thinking about what their last words may have been to each other. Did they give each other a kiss goodbye? A hug? In my mind, they did. In my mind, little Gigi ran to her bedroom to say goodbye, gave her a kiss and ran off with her daddy. What hurts more ? They both do, honestly but I think for ME, as much as I absolutely adore my husband, I think losing my daughter would have a lot more sting. Thinking about it hurts. I just imagine, and cry. But I dont know ... or understand what she is going through. I hate that it takes something like this to stop us in our tracks. I was definitely jolted from mine. We take our loved ones being with us for granted and always think they'll come back home. But that is not always the case.

I'm not much of a sports fan, but I always knew about Kobe Bryant. I'm from LA and he's definitely a staple. Plus he's from my generation and it just feels like we lost a childhood friend. I was lucky enough to have been to a Lakers game and watch from box seats many years ago. I'm reminded of watching games from home with my ex boyfriend. My cousin always updating his Facebook feed with the score and posting updates. "Lakeshow"

Ooooh so so unbelievable still.

Seriously, LOVE your people. Love them with everything you have. I felt anxiety today as my daughter left for school. I kissed and hugged her before dropping her off. I decided I wouldn't let the baby's cry frustrate me today and I would sit with her if she needed me too, the dishes really CAN wait. Eli wasn't feeling well, he stayed home and asked if he could take a nap. I kept the baby occupied so he could rest, I rubbed his hair so he could doze off. Things I should always do, but with life constantly changing and busy schedules, I tend to always be chaotic and challenging to be in the moment. But I have to remember what is important.

We forget, well I forget sometimes, that we are all going to die one day, we don't know what day or when ... so while we are alive we just really need to LOVE and LIVE. LIVE TODAY, NOW! life is just too short. ❤

I set up my area with a blanket, phone, remote, a book, coffee area, diapers and wipes, and done! It'll be a 2 hour nap usually if I don't put her down. If I decide to put her down she'll wake up and be whiny. So I set myself up as comfortable as possible.