#totalbiscuit

Lily Peet really is just a more spiteful and vindictive Dobson, Christ…

And if you want a very similar comparison, here’s Dobson talking about TotalBiscuit almost immediately after he died from cancer.

You're not alone in this.

In mid 2010's there was a gaming critic, one of the first ones in the wave of youtubers, one of the best ones as far as a great many people were concerned. Influental, adored, funny, righteous. His name was John but most people knew him as TotalBiscuit. He too passed from cancer in 2018.

We still miss him.

I see him occasionally in conversation, spoken of in kindness. People lamenting they wish he would be here, to see the things we have, to speak on them, just to hear his voice. Every single one of his thousands of videos has a new comment wishing him to rest easy and reminisceing the old days. People have not forgotten. I never will either. He saved my life without knowing, many years ago, simply by existing.

On the internet no one is ever really gone.

It will hurt. You will hurt. Maybe for a long time, maybe he mattered so much to you that that little bit of grief will fester for years to come but its okay. You will remember him and you will remember him with warmth and goodness and happiness for the time he was here.

So y'know. Alex was right.

TotalBiscuit continues his tale from his experience in the game "The Last Federation"

there’s something uniquely upsetting learning that there’s a fair and valid share of people that think the world is better off without him now. there’s no true remedy for the kind of unsettling feeling that you’re not supposed to mourn the death of someone who’s been there and helped you get through multiple difficult life periods. i idolized him, ever since i was in 6th grade. i even went as him for halloween 2011. his channel was another place of comfort for me throughout the years. so the days following his death, it was such an extraordinarily depressing blow to just see how many people openly celebrate it. there’s no feeling like it that i’ve ever experienced.

TB never came off to me as deserving of it all. it felt like, at least to me, almost everything people found wrong with him was something that he could have learned to reverse if he just had a better line of communication with the people he needed to listen to and more time. that he was problematic and had his low points but wasn't irredeemable, wasn’t malicious. following him, it seemed to me that he was very open-minded and receptive to criticism. it’s much more a fault on me for giving him the benefit of the doubt learning about the things he’s said after the fact. the transphobic comments, the close association with more directly malevolent figures, the one cancer jeer that’s so horribly ironic in retrospect. and yet i so readily dropped p*wd*ep*e and rightfully pushed him as far away as i could without looking back, and i still do the same on an infrequent basis.

it wasn’t like monty or etika. there were no big and emotional tributes, nor the feeling that communities were setting aside any differences to come together and preserve a person’s memory. just more arguments and debates, this time about whether or not it was even something you were allowed to be sad about.

RIP John “TotalBiscuit” Bain. July 8, 1984 - May 24, 2018