#momblog

My kid will be 10 months old here in a few days and we get on his first airplane ride.

I’m so nervous and already know I’ll simultaneously over and under pack.

We also graduated from our cranial helmet and sadly don’t need it anymore. This unfortunately means since he is crawling and attempting to walk, he’s extremely clumsy and keeps hitting his head. We tried to hold onto the helmet for as long as we could but because his head is now within normal limits for shape, the helmet is quickly not fitting anymore. It’s funny how the helmet caused me such emotional distress and now we want to keep it forever. Another issue I’m having without it is transferring baby from my arms to crib when he is asleep. I usually scooped him up with one hand under his helmeted head but now he wakes up because I’m actually gripping his head and not helmet. I’m getting creative now with a burp cloth under his head instead but the fear of suffocation has me getting extra creative squiggling the cloth from out under him after I make the transfer.

Easter was a bit of a bust this year. I still got him a basket and took some photos near our house but babies nap time is so random sometimes that we keep missing events.

These Aqua Plushies from @OfficialMooshMoosh are not your standard Moosh-Moosh! They’re designed with unique water-friendly properties, and they launched this summer! When they’re dry, they’re light, super soft, and ready for all the classic plush duties: a poolside lounge cuddle buddy, a mini plush pillow for an outdoor summer nap, or a tagalong pal for any adventure you’d normally bring a plush friend on. The real magic happens when they get wet. Soak them in water and suddenly they become the perfect splash companion—easy to toss, play catch with, or throw up in the air and watch them make the most satisfying *plop* back into the pool. Dunk them, soak them, wring them out—Moosh-Moosh Aqua can handle it all and then morph right back into shape, ready for round two.

💗 No more leaving your plush high and dry inside the house. You can take these in the water for pool days, beach days, backyard and sprinkler runs.

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I was a military wife at age 18. I graduated in 2003 in the top 10% of my class with a 3.8 GPA and a state scholarship. Before a year had passed, I was married and had moved across the country from Goose Creek, SC to Colorado Springs, Colorado.

We only had one car and didn't want to work opposite schedules as newlyweds, so we planned to buy a second car ASAP and find work for me then. We’d originally planned to wait on kids, but after a pregnancy scare, we realized we felt ready after all. Less than six months into our marriage, I was 19 and pregnant.

It already sounds like a trainwreck unfolding, doesn't it?

We bought two cars and a two-bedroom townhome in an up-and-coming neighborhood. My ex drove a red Pontiac Sunfire, while I had a dark green soccer mom minivan. I found a part-time job at a local marketing agency and greeting service that let me bring Corbin along (until he got too mobile).

I started writing. That made me really happy because it was what I always wanted to do. I mastered SEO, rose to the highest pay grade at the primary site I wrote for, and was featured on the front page more than once. I even taught new writers and caught the attention of a few respected voices in niche fields.

I believed in attachment parenting. We coslept from day one. I breastfed Corbin until he was two but stopped short of tandem nursing. Orin was born a few months after Corbin weaned. By then I'd switched to cloth diapers (and cloth TP for myself), couldn't wait to homeschool, and was caught up in the natural living craze. I made very different health decisions, like that Orin was born at home.

I also ran a home daycare, serving military families and low-income single moms. Between parenthood, babysitting, and writing, motherhood became my whole life and identity. Sometimes I'd have up to six kids in the house and work as many as sixty hours in a week. I never came close to earning what my husband did, but I felt like I worked constantly.

Friends and family back home had little idea what went on behind the scenes, but my ex's alcoholism wasn't some well-kept secret through all of this. It wasn't plastered all over social media, but it was very public locally. There were other issues, too--personality clashes, communication breakdowns, lifestyle incompatabilities.

I've been asked, "Was it really that bad?" I don't know. Whatever it was, I left before Orin's first birthday. I was 22 when I packed my kids, my dog, and whatever would fit into a Dodge Caravan and drove from Colorado back home to South Carolina.

My birthday was a few months later. At 23, I was a low-income single mother of two toddlers with only a high school diploma and limited work experience. That was in 2008--during the "Great Recession." The bank took the townhouse. I guess it wasn't much of a home anymore by then anyway.

I started an Instagram for this blog as well, I thought it was a good idea in order to get my gofundme out there more.

Even $1.00 helps, if you can please donate and if you can’t please share. I’m trying to be as prepared as I can so that when this baby comes they can have whatever they may need.

The link is

I am a 17 year old single pregnant first time mom. Motherhood was never on my to-do list really. I think your to-do list changes after you see those two pink lines though. Suddenly I was googling how to graduate highschool early and had my head in a toilet bowl 99% of my day. Well I am now graduated and 21 weeks along. 

I started this pregnancy off in a completely different person’s life. I often think back to who I was all those months ago. I don’t miss who I was. I was in a very lovely relationship that had lasted 2 1/2 years. I don’t miss that relationship at all though. What was once so amazing changed. When those lines came up both of our lives changed, his for the worst. Not to completely shit on him, but he became a deadbeat almost immediately. 

I became a new mom on August 6, 2020.  I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea it would be like this.  Not only am I constantly worrying about my child, his health, development, etc...but now I’m part of this world that I had only seen in movies, or seen in passing on the street.  The world of motherhood, a different kind of adult woman life, like an elite social club.  In my mind, once I became a mom, I’d have to buy a mini-van, eat organic, join a book club, and wear overalls.  No judgement to those moms by the way, but that just isn’t my style.  Anyway, once I finally got more than an hour of sleep at night & finally got a glimpse in the mirror, I realized that as a woman representing this amazing circle I have to do it proud!  I spend most of my days on Pinterest searching for “mom outfits”, “ways to decorate an apartment on a budget”, “cute styles mom”, not to mention I take DETAILED mental notes every time I see a young family.  What are they wearing? How are they talking? Could I ever give off that vibe?  Do I look like I know what I’m doing? What do people think?  

Yes, I’m aware of how neurotic I sound.  But I’m clearly not the only mom in the world who thinks these things, or I wouldn’t have so many things to scroll through online.  Why do we have to change everything once we become mothers?  Why does society make us feel like we have act, look, and dress like a “mom”.  What does that even mean?  Do I think SOME things should be tweaked a little bit, yes of course.  I want to be a strong, sober woman with grace & dignity that my son can look up to & my fiance can be proud to be next too.  But do I really have to change who I am because I gave birth? UH, I think not.  I grew a human being inside of me, spent a traumatic week in the hospital pushing him out & hemorrhaging, and have completely shifted my point of focus from myself to my son...I’m pretty sure I’ve already made the most major changes one can make to their life.  

Why can’t moms wear crop tops & Jordans?  Why can’t we be covered in tattoos?  I see the way people look at us families that are out of the “norm”, and I live in a big city where EVERYTHING is normal.  So why does it seem that parenthood is different?   As moms, we’re constantly told we’re superheroes, we’re these amazing creatures that are unlike anything else...all of this is TRUE.  So as a superhero, shouldn’t I get to design my own suit?  Shouldn’t I get to decide my superpowers?  I want to be the amazing supermom who wears Yeezys, has tattoos, and listens to 90′s hip hop. One of my superpowers is having an enormous amount of knowledge about sneakers.   I don’t want my son stopped or slowed by stereotypes & judgements, and I want to start in my own house.   

I worked at a grocery store during the summer before I gave birth, and I used to hear the things my coworkers would say when women would come in with their children.  Women who clearly had their hands full, with kids, with shopping, with LIVES.  And these comments comparing how they were dressed with their financial state.  Last time I checked, how I pay for my food & the way I look have nothing to do with each other.  I shouldn’t have to worry about wearing “the right thing” when I am going out with my family, so that people think I’m a good mom.   The saddest, most frustrating part about all this judgement & scrutiny is that is BY OTHER MOMS.  We are the ones who should be cheering each other on.  “You were able to get dressed, get those kids ready, AND made it out in public?!  You GO girl.”  NOT “Why would you dress like that....you’re a mom”  Hell yeah, we’re moms.  And we’re women.  We’re strong, we’re sexy and we just happen to have a little mini me on our hip.