#neveralone

You Are Never Alone — Jesus Never Left You 🤍.

A story is dedicated to all moms, but mostly to the moms of twins.

During my pregnancy, and especially after I learned that natural birth was an option, I spent a lot of time looking online for answers to my numerous questions but I couldn’t find them. Should the nature and circumstances allow, with this letter to my kids I would like to encourage all women carrying twins to dare to go for natural birth.

My dear children,

I will now tell you exactly how you came to this world. It was Wednesday and the 39th week of pregnancy. However, the story actually begins the Sunday before, when the doctors started to induce the labor. At the hospital where you were born, the recommendation was to deliver the twins two weeks before the due date. This was considered safer for the mom, but my water had not yet broken and also I had no contractions. This is why they started the labor induction. You must have had a really nice time in your mom’s belly when even after 38 weeks you still did not want to go out.

Doctors tried to speed up the labor by applying a sort of gel vaginally which should trigger labor. However, it did not go as planned. You still didn’t want to go out, and your mom started getting small but frequent contractions that lasted until next day. On Tuesday, the labor still did not start, so the doctors reapplied the gel. This strengthened the intensity and the frequency of the contractions, but it was not enough. You still did not want to come out. I could‘t sleep that evening due to the pain. But I knew that I need additional strength to be ready for the labor, so I asked for a painkiller. I also wanted to be rested to welcome you on the next day. After the nurse administered the painkiller, I immediately fell a sleep and woke up ready on Wednesday.

Your dad came to the hospital that morning, we visited a doctor to find out that the next step is to induce intravenous hormone oxytocin which directly causes labor contractions and it can be very easily dosed and if needed immediately stopped. Doctor said that with this you would be here in two hours.

Because all of pain caused by gel, the option to have Caesarian section before talking with the doctor was popping in my mind. In the end we decided to go with the oxytocin induction. The midwife immediately started dosing. I tried to take deep breaths and follow every contraction. Your dad and I were together alone at the beginning, except for the times when the midwife would stop by to check how open I was. I was breathing deeply, and your dad tried to divert my thoughts with small talks.

During one of her checks, midwife broke the water with her fingers and said: Oops, I didn't plan this." All was good, just a little awkward because there was a jet of water which stoped after few minutes. The midwife and your dad changed the sheets around me to have it dry again. Oxytocin dosing continued, and I asked many questions to the the midwife in the meantime. Your dad told me that I was very cute to her with my questions. You know, your mom, when she's excited and nervous, talks a lot.

The midwife did a great job and I unknowingly thanked her many times. When I was sufficiently open enough she laid me on the side so that one leg was stretched out and the other one bent. Just before changing the position, I asked the midwife how does she expect me to lie on the side now because in the last month of my pregnancy, the only possible position was half-sitting. She told me not to worry about it and she explained that she will slowly move me to the side and support me with the pillows. That is how we did it, and it did not hurt me. She told me that I was doing great, and that I should tell her when I have an urgent feeling that I need to go „number two“. This was the moment when I needed to push as strong as I could for the whole duration of the contraction. This is exactly what I did.

The midwife then informed the doctor who immediately came, sat on the floor of the room with a student, and he waited for the right moment. The midwife also had a student with her. I had pre-approved this thinking that whoever can help is welcome.

Your dad, he cheered for me all the time and as I pushed and pushed, he kept holding my back with both his hands which gave me a sense of safety. Once he wanted to rest a little, but I asked him to quickly return his hands to the same position. The pain was there, but bearable except for the 2-3 times when I it was not the doctors administered intravenously painkillers in small dosages.

In the break between strong contractions and pushes so hard that I bit my own teeth they asked if I wanted to touch and feel our little girl's head. First, I said no, but after few seconds I changed my mind and did it. I have no words to describe the feeling.

We continued and at one point the doctor asked my approval to make a small incision. He explained that this would speed up the process. I agreed. Few seconds later, our little girl was there. They showed you to me. You were all white with mucus and one eye half closed. They explained me that this mucus does not need to go away and that it is actually very healthy for the baby’s skin. Dad took you on his chest, and I received instructions on how to continue to welcome your brother.

Quickly, the doctors did an ultrasound to determine your position, my son. This was to check if a c-section is needed. It was not needed as you went down with your butt.

To continue with the labor I had to change my position. I turned on my stomach and kneeled on the bed while holding the armchair with my hands. To induce the second labor they had to keep dosing oxytocin. After a while, my son, you started to come out. New contractions started and you were there within next half an hour. My son, you were reddish from blood, and already looking curiously with your gentle eyes. I took you on my chest and after a few minutes of getting to know you, I asked the midwife to help me to try breastfeeding. It only took a little while and you already started sucking deliciously like a big baby. The feeling of joy has overwhelmed me. Your dad was holding you brave big sister, and after we switched I immediately breastfeed your sister. She also sucked beautifully.

At that moment I became aware that I am now a mother of two little humans, and the way we connected made me very happy. I love you!