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𖥔 ⠀ ᴛʜᴇ ⠀criminal case fandom ┈ *#THE ORIGINAL * ⠀𓂅 * by ⠀ laur
NOTE: some of these hcs have other hcs references in them if you don’t like what you see skip, ALSO SPOILERS ON THE LAST ONE!!!
Morning hcs
Julia: she wakes up at precisely 6:66 she thinks it’s good luck (it’s the devil’s number) she then gets up and heads to kitchen and makes herself a ice caramel latte, then cleans the whole hide out top to bottom
Her pjs: probably one of joes goofy shirts and something like those slik pj bottoms with rollers to keep her hair wavy of course and one of those electronic face masks (she’s a skin care baddie)
Joe: probably wakes up at 7am and makes breakfast like toast eggs etc.. for him and Julia, and then goes for a shower then spends 30 minutes sorting out his thick ass hair then spending 20 minutes doing pollys and rozettas hair (his daughters ofc)
His pjs: probably boxers and socks, shirt if cold and American flag patterned slipperss LMAO
Rozetta: wakes up at 5 am to go to the gym then goes back to the hide out and takes a shower and has breakfast at 8am then lets Joe do her hair
Her pjs: whatever she’s wearing to the gym in the morning tbh
Christian: definitely wakes up the latest like 10 am and then takes a bath for 1 hour then going full spa mode until afternoon then eats lunch
His pjs: NOTHING… but when he wakes up face mask and spa robe and head towel
Louis: I feel like he wakes up at 5 am to get ready for work talking a shower and picking out what tie he wants wear before glamming himself up a bit with of foundation and setting powder
His pjs: CHICKEN SLIPPERS OFC (thanks moons) and those goofy love heart boxers and some outrageous brain rot shirt he found at the thrift
Ranking all possible Ad Astra Ships (Excluding Rozetta)
I really like how we’ve been coming up with all these different ships (with various states of crack-ness), and so I’ve decided to tier list every single possible ship of the four older members of Ad Astra (excluding Rozetta since she was 14ish when she met the other members, who were 22-26ish, and even if they’re adults in the modern day, that would be a creepy/inappropriate ship imo). And of course, I’m excluding Junior Ad Astra as usual, because they suck and are complete tools.
I’m just typing out the list rather than making individual images and putting them on a tier list proper because one, I’m at work and don’t really have access to good image editing software, two, I’m lazy, and three, the images would start to blend together since all the ships involve the same four people.
But anyways! These are just my silly personal opinions. Feel free to disagree with me, and I’d love to see your own!
S Tier:
I don’t think any of the Ad Astra ships quite reaches the peaks needed for a solid S tier ship, but! I still have a favorite, and will be listing everything in order from my favorite to least favorite.
A Tier:
• Joe/Louis
o I honestly feel like this has the most canon support, just based on the fact that Louis learned the Neohumans were a hivemind controlled by their leader, but only told Joe, who says that Louis found out said information, “but he only shared it with me, in complete confidence. We knew if anyone found out that they could take Denise’s place and control the neohumans’ every move, it would be a disaster!” Louis only sharing such information with Joe seems to imply to me that he trusted Joe the most out of the rest of AA, or at least was closest to him (plus he addresses Rozetta and Joe by name when he’s recording himself breaking into the dome; makes sense, since Rozetta’s the leader of AA, and Joe quite possibly is the one he’s closest to). But then there’s that one part where Louis was looking at his cellmate “funny” in the shower, like what the actual hell, Louis, 0/10, Redfern should’ve punched you for that, not just broke your watch. Yeah, that moment is why this isn’t S tier, but I’ll confess that Joe/Louis is still my favorite AA ship. Please don’t attack me for that; you’re free to dislike it!
B Tier
• Joe/Julia
o Probably the healthiest ship on here, and I got nothing against it, I definitely think it could work really well and has potential for cuteness, I’m more inclined to see them as really good, close friends, but good on you if you ship it!
• Julia/Joe/Louis
o This works best, imo, if it’s Julia and Louis both being in a relationship with Joe, rather than each other, since I can’t really see Louis and Julia being anything more than friends. But hey, best of both worlds, Joe gets to be a therapist for two different people and gets to be jumpscared by hearing about his boyfriend’s violent death probably by one of his assistants or something, then gets to see his girlfriend die in an almost identical manner in front of him. Angst!
• Joe/Christian
o While I can see the appeal of this as a crack ship and kinda like the idea of Christian being so aggressively competitive with Joe because he has a crush on him and doesn’t know how to process his feelings, this would not be a very healthy relationship, and Christian seems like the kinda guy to NEVER shut up about his exes/people he had a thing for to his current partner, so…hope Joe’s ready for that.
Joe: breathes
Christian: Meera used to breathe. Do you know what I thought when she did? I thought blah blah incel comment blah blah blah something about her denying him his last chance to feel human love blah blah blah, Actually, Joe, it would be great if you wore this turquoise wig
C Tier:
• Julia/Joe/Louis/Christian
o This could work in the sense that everyone is in a relationship with Joe, while Julia, Louis, and Christian are not in a relationship with each other, BUT I have a feeling that Christian would be extremely possessive and not be happy with anyone else being in a relationship with his partner and it would turn even more toxic than a monogamous relationship with Bateman and just be very bad for Julia and Louis.
• Julia/Joe/Christian
o Same as above, minus Louis.
• Louis/Julia
o I just can’t really see Louis being in a fulfilling relationship with a woman ngl. Not only do I not get the vibe that Julia would be interested in him at all, even if they were in a relationship, Julia wouldn’t be happy, either, by his lack of romantic-ness. Better as friends.
D Tier:
• Louis/Christian
o I’ll admit not really liking this ship comes down to personal headcanons about how Christian showed a complete lack of empathy towards Louis when Louis was scared out of his mind during Airport, as well as barely caring about Louis’ violent death besides how the threat of Denise affected him personally. I could maybe be convinced to see merit in it, but for now, I don’t really love this ship.
• Julia/Christian
o We see how Christian treats women. Moving on. Sorry, Julia. “I was crazy about Christian” I’m crazy about Meera’s ghost throwing something at your head to give you some much-needed clarity
F Tier:
• Julia/Christian/Louis
o None of these people should be in a relationship with each other.
And that’s it! Here’s a list of the ships if anyone else wants to rank them:
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Who digs through the toy bin at thrift stories
Carlos and Jay. Carlos will find used stuffies he can either clean up and hand off to a kid or grab for cheap and repurpose as a dog toy. Plus some electronic toys make for cheap parts to be used in other projects. Jay can't resist digging through a bin for good finds, thief instinct, but now he uses it to get toys he knows the younger VKs will like.
Who gives better hugs
Jay's hugs are like a teddy bear, strong and protective and will envelop you in safety. Carlos gives the best hugs within the ot4, bc he just absolutely latches on, like a sloth or a monkey. But outside the ot4, Mal hugs are rare, so if a young VK is being bullied and gets a Mal hug, it's a true honor
Who does absolutely nothing on a day off
Mal. Evie goes shopping or sketches or can't resist at least fiddling with a design. Carlos tinkers in between playing video games. Jay works out, no matter the day. Mal is content to just laze in bed, ideally with one of the others for cuddling
Who prefers gold and who prefers silver
Jay prefers gold and Mal is a fan of silver
Who looks better in stripes
Carlos looks best in stripes, and Evie likes working them into his outfits for how they seem almost opposite of spots
Who wears “dad hats”
Evie does not let any of them wear hats, if she has a say, but Mal finds a ponytail and a simple dad hat lets her draw at least less attention when she goes into town, so sometimes she uses it
Who excessively quotes shows or movies
Carlos. He watches the most movies anyway, though he frequently gets the others to do a movie night with him. He likes quoting cheesy lines to Mal to get her to roll her eyes and groan, though she secretly loves it. (Evie quotes romcom lines at her too, but Evie makes her blush)
Who saves everything because “we could use it for something someday”
Jay saves everything because he's gotta see if it's worth something. But Carlos and Evie see everything as useful for something, depending on what the item is (fabrics, buttons, and things vs electronics, wood bits, plastics)
Who piles on the blankets
Evie, who then drags Mal under them with her bc Mal refuses to admit she's cold. Carlos tends cold too, but he's usually up against Jay, a human space heater.
Who drowns everything in chocolate
Carlos, much to Evie's displeasure. Sometimes Mal and Jay join in, though Jay has less of a sweet tooth and Mal refuses to put chocolate on strawberries.
Julia/Joel (Parenthood):
hell yeah, we're doing my new loves babyyyy. possibly my favorite domestics
Who digs through the toy bin at thrift stories
Joel. Julia is more likely to go for new toys, spoil the kids, but Joel appreciates a good thrifty find
Who gives better hugs
Joel. All the nieces and nephews learn this, and know an Uncle Joel hug is a balm on a bad day. Julia is intimately familiar with this and will sometimes come home and he will just open his arms for her to walk into and stand there holding her until she's ready to pull away, no matter what he's in the middle of
Who does absolutely nothing on a day off
Neither of them are great at this. Joel views it as a day to do things around the house, fix things that need it, while Julia's just a workaholic. They try to be aware of this and use days off as days to do things with the kids
Who prefers gold and who prefers silver
I think they both prefer silver. It's classic and timeless, and gold just seems a little showy and over the top for Julia
Who looks better in stripes
Joel
Who wears “dad hats”
also Joel
Who excessively quotes shows or movies
Joel will quote old movies, which go over the kids' heads
Who saves everything because “we could use it for something someday”
Julia saves things sentimentally, every kids' paper or artwork, boxes of her growing family. Joel refuses to throw away "broken" things, because he swears he can fix them
Who piles on the blankets
Julia, especially on times she has to sleep without Joel. He's much warmer than she is, so she doesn't tend to need extra blankets when he's around
Who drowns everything in chocolate
Sidney :P Joel goes for chocolate cakes and things, while Julia goes for gummies and candies.
here's a little get to know me! i know that you've already seen the amount of stuff i reblog + all of the couples i like but i decided that i'll just make a list of the main ones i love with all my heart (new & old)
✧ linstead ✦
“maybe one day, oh definitely”
✧ fitzsimmons ✦
“i didn’t know you would be my life, my heart, my home, my love for you grows deeper and always will no matter where the universe takes us next”
✧ evabby ✦
“i can tell, you’re special, and i don’t have anyone like you in my life and i don’t wanna risk losing you”
✧ sethummer ✦
“with all your little flaws and your little quirks, somehow you keep drawing me back”
✧ allisaac ✦
“let me help you”
✧ ness ✦
“i fell in love with jess the moment she walked through the door”
✧ theroy ✦
“i just don’t want to lose you again thea”
✧ conic ✦
“i’m gonna do whatever it takes to get you back”
✧ rogan ✦
“you amaze me rory gilmore, everyday, everything that you do, everything that you are”
✧ jamko ✦
“i have feelings for you, i have for a long time”
✧ joelia ✦
:i don’t want to live another day without you”
✧ zade ✦
“ you are the love of my life zoe hart”
✧ naley ✦
“i will always be there for you , i will always protect you”
✧ shules ✦
“ i can’t imagine that happening without juliet”
✧ schmece ✦
“it’s a caramel miracle”
✧ brulian ✦
“i’m in love with you julian and i always will be”