How Cosmere Characters Would Come Out
As requested by @im-bad-at-names-okay :)
Happy Pride Month! If Cosmere characters wanted to "come out," here is how they would do so.
1. Renarin: A series of unsigned letters
Lore drop: I came out via a letter to my parents when I was in high school.
Dalinar: The first note said, "Someone is gay."
Dalinar: The second note said, "Someone you know."
Dalinar: The third note said, "Someone in your family."
Dalinar: The fourth note said, "One of your sons."
Dalinar: ...
Dalinar: I think I can predict what the fifth note will say.
2. Adolin: Tells people face-to-face
He just figures that telling people in person is the right thing to do.
Adolin: ...So anyway, I like men as well as women.
May: Yes. I am aware.
Adolin: Y-You are?? Did someone tell you??
May: You stare at a lot of butts.
Adolin: ...
Adolin: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
3. Kaladin: The most dramatic moment possible
Think about every time Kaladin let someone know he was Radiant. Now apply that logic to Kaladin coming out.
Kaladin: [Glowing with stormlight, descending slowly from the sky]
Kaladin: Romance. Sex. Gender. None of it--none of it--is compulsory, and none of it is for me!
Lirin: You literally could have told us this normally at dinner last night.
Hesina (elbowing him): Shhhh!
4. Wayne: Casually, conversationally
Wayne drops the lore as if it's no big deal, although he is admittedly a bit anxious the first time (when he tells Wax).
Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good man...
Wayne: Actually, I'm a girl today.
Wax: [processing very quickly] Just today?
Wayne: Well, we'll see, I guess. Sometimes it's just for a day. Sometimes it's a girl week.
Wax: Noted.
Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good woman...
5. Rlain: Matter-of-factly
Rlain knows he has to make humans accept him as a person. Sometimes he tells them that he plays cards. Sometimes he tells them that he is gay.
Rlain: I'm Rlain. And this is my boyfriend, Renarin.
The Alethi guy who was just talking shit about Singers: Uh...
Rlain: Now you know something else about me.
Rlain: Namely, I can pull.
6. Shallan: Eventually and with difficulty
Look, Shallan does not like to reveal lore about herself. Sometimes it takes being trapped in a cave in a high storm. Sometimes she makes her alters do it. It's a process.
Shallan (currently huddled with Kaladin in the little nook while the high storm rages outside)
Shallan: ....A-And also, I think I have a crush on Jasnah!
Shallan: Does that mean I like women???
Kaladin: Even worse, you might have bad taste in women!
Shallan: What
Kaladin: I shouldn't say my first thought.
7. Sazed: Makes Wax do it
This is always the Sazed-Harmony strategy.
Sazed: [communicating with Wax via his earring] Please tell everyone that my pronouns are now "they/them" so if they could stop using "he" for me, I'd appreciate it.
Sazed: I know that there are other things going on, but it has been annoying me for hundreds of years now.
Wax: ...You sent a kandra to command me to put in my earring for this...? Couldn't the kandra just do it...?
Sazed: You try explaining pronouns to a kandra!
8. Vivenna: Just kinda assumed people knew
The short hair and the sword aren't enough??
Beard: Captain, we've been talking...
Beard: And we've come up with a list of just three guys in all of Kholinar who we think MIGHT be worthy of going on a date with you!
Vivenna: ...Try again, but with women.
Beard: ....
Beard: Oh!
Vivenna (to herself): How much more obvious could I make it?
9. Jasnah: Writes a truly groundbreaking treatise
Jasnah is not going to bother coming out if it's not also scholarship.
Ethid: Your treatise on asexuality will truly have a lasting effect on scholarship.
Jochi: I predict that the undertext referring to your own experiences will promote much speculation in future generations.
Jasnah: Thank you, both.
Jasnah: ...Glad that relationship was worth something.
10. Nikaro: Tells no one until they all figure it out for themselves
Nikaro can't shake the fear that everyone will leave if they know the truth, groundless as that fear may be.
Akane: Last week you had a boyfriend.
Yumi: Correct.
Akane: Today you have a girlfriend.
Yumi: I do.
Akane: Your girlfriend looks quite a bit like my old friend, Nikaro.
Yumi: Fancy that.
Akane: ...
Akane: Congrats on the gender, Painter!
Painter: ...It's that easy?
11. Dalinar: Unintentional lore drop
Dalinar is one of Those dads.
Dalinar: [comforting an adolescent Adolin]
Dalinar: Adolin, do not be troubled by your crush on Jakamav.
Dalinar: Every man has crushes on his male friends.
Dalinar: It is very normal.
....
Adolin (eight years later): WAIT A STORMING MINUTE
