#isfx

isfx: aww, are your cramps really bad this time? you need something?

infx on the floor, barely audible: I would bless the hand that grants me the kindness of death by disembowlment

isfx, holding a bottle of ibuprofen: wth

infj : *laughing, turning to intj* its quite funny tho *grins a bit* good one

Clary Fairchild - ISFP

Art credit: cassandra jean

ESFP, ISFP, ISTP, ESTP. The Explorers/Sensing Perceivers

ISFJ: You like today's date? It's a palindrome. [7/17/17]

ISFP: That means it's the same both ways, right?

ISFJ: Right.

ISFP: My name is too.

ISFJ: If your name was a palindrome, it would be spelt Colloc.

ISFP: My real name is Nilloc.

ISFJ: That's not how a palindrome works.

I dream of many great things for myself. Great things that I know require work. Each time I try to work towards those things I want for myself, the same thing happens. I start out so motivated. I do all of the right things and I’m on the right track. I see the progress I’ve been making and I have this little glow of happiness and positivity in me. 

And then you probably know what comes next. I usually don’t even notice when it starts creeping up to me. Maybe because positivity slowly become complacency. I don’t know. But the little failures start coming, slowly eating away at my motivation. And when I look around I’m suddenly in this deep, dark hole.

It is in here that I exist without living. In here I can’t bring myself to try to accomplish anything. Not when it feels like everything I do will eventually come to nothing. Somehow the outcome to the problems I have seem so dark and the good outcomes just feel so far, so impossible, so unlikely. When I’m down here I don’t know when I can see any light again. Because it takes so much, so long to try again. And each time I fall so deep, it gets harder to try and climb back up, because it always happens I have never been able to get out of this cycle. 

I’ve never been those people you read about, those who could persevere in the face of countless challenges and who eventually became successful in their own terms. My struggle is much more trivial than what these people have went through, but I lack the kind of strength to face these struggles. I probably don’t have it in me. That’s why there’s so much fear towards trying again.