#introverted problems

no I don’t want to go out tonight. please stop. I’m not like that. 

As a street photographer, I miss the crowded downtown streets on a Friday night. I enjoy observing and capturing nightlife, even though I don’t take part in it. But as an introvert, this past year in lockdown at home has reminded me that I enjoy living a vicarious/virtual life where I experience the world through fictional characters. I could be living in a simulation and wouldn’t even care. This is the most that I’ve ever binge-watched shows and binge-read books, and I’m going to miss having this much time that I can spend immersing myself in fictional worlds and feeling emotions I wouldn’t otherwise feel in real life (granted, this is also because I had the privilege to be able to work from home, which is not a privilege afforded to many). This year has made me realize that as an introvert, do I care whether a social experience is “real” or not, as long as the emotions I feel seem real to me? Would it matter to me if I just replaced all my social interactions with imaginary ones? I think I’ve been spending too much time inside my head.