type: sleepy

I’m probably ISTP Ti/Ni-SC/B in the objective personality system, not sure about F or M

I think I’m either FM Ti/Ni-SC/P #4 orrr FF Ti/Se-CS/P #4

Yeah so they typed me FF Si/Te-BS/P(C) #4 LOL

I love looking back on my old journal entries and my anon social media posts like damn I do remember how depressed and stressed I was and in fact it does not get better girly! It gets worse! And you don’t develop better coping mechanisms, you develop worse ones! And you don’t start getting into healthier situations, you get into worse ones! So cool! I used to focus so hard on the idea that things will get better because I will inevitably grow from the hard times. But growth is not inevitable, you definitely have to try and it is not fun and does not feel good. No shit but I was always like, “I’ll be forced into that situation anyway so of course I’ll accept the growing pains!” No, you have to choose them and choose growth. And I still don’t wanna, but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if I don’t try.

JK things do get better. Worse and better in a cycle. Right now I'm just chillin and not up to much. But it turns out this is a great way for me to grow, since my emotional crises are often caused by being too attached to other people and their thoughts and opinions.

I’m probably ISTP Ti/Ni-SC/B in the objective personality system, not sure about F or M

I think I'm either FM Ti/Ni-SC/P #4 orrr FF Ti/Se-CS/P #4

I really do wish I weren’t bisexual. I guess it’s not so difficult to go through life acting like a straight person. So far I’ve only been with the opposite sex, anyway, and I could continue without much of a problem. But like, as sexual creatures, we notice our attractions to people all. the. time. I’m not saying I’m a horny bitch constantly, but I notice who I’m attracted to. If I were to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex now and for the rest of my life, it wouldn’t matter whether I’m out as bisexual or not. But since I’m on the prowl, or trying to mingle, however aggressive you want the phrase to be, , , I don’t want to ignore half the people I would consider hooking up with or dating. That’s just inefficient, and, like, emotionally really difficult. I really wish I could ignore my emotions with no repercussions – because I do it all the time – but that’s so unhealthy and causes (/is causing) some issues!! So I guess I could ignore my bisexuality forever, and we don’t have it nearly as difficult as gay people or trans people, but this would still cause pain for me. 

I just wish I weren't bi bc I fear that I don't have the ability to stand up to the judgement of others. I fear my female friends will be uncomfortable around me and I fear that the guys I date will push me to have 3somes. The solution here is just being confident in who I am and what my standards are. But it's hard when I've lately been out here questioning my sexuality. I just have a habit of... not sticking to my standards and hooking up with people who I'm not into, just as an experiment. But having those experiences makes me more and more repulsed by sex. I've hooked up with 1 woman and I wasn't actually into her so obviously it sent me into a spiral of "am I not into women??" Bro ur not into people who ur not into, duh. The same thing happens whenever I hook up with a man, where I question if I'm just gay. Lately tho I haven't been attracted to anyone I've hooked up with or considered hooking up with, so I'm questioning if I'm just asexual. No bitch you are just hung up on someone. And I've gotta admit that I'm not a superficial person, I don't wanna hook up with people just bc they're physically attractive, I want to be attracted to their whole essence and who they are as a person. I hate admitting that so much LMAO I feel like I'm lying but I'm not.

When I go to make a decision, I need to consult with like EVERYBODY I can lmao what does this say about me

I see all my posts like this, doubting everything, clarifying everything... bitch you're such a 6!!! Just so much 6 content on the internet is inaccurate.

I like the idea that the 3rd instinctual function is just ‘repressed’ rather than ‘blind’. I’m definitely not blind to sx; I thought I was sx dominant at one point lol. I relate to people who are sx dominant, sometimes not much and sometimes when they state their #sxdomprob I question myself because I have what I think is the same exact problem. Although I’m ‘sx-blind’, I’m not blind to sx and tend to frequently think about my problems with it. I just don’t ACT on solving my sx problems, like sx dominant people do. I acknowledge my 3rd instinct and go “ok I would love that but I have bigger fish to fry” and then focus on my 1st and 2nd instincts.

Reading through a lot of my old posts and seeing how far my understanding of type has come. But this is something I stand by. Your instinctual stacking is like "duh obviously everyone acts this way". And when you see people who have your 3rd instinct 1st, you assume they are making a conscious and nonsensical decision to be like that. You're not blind to the 3rd instinct, the way it works in others and yourself, it just was never ever a priority to develop/focus on it.

This man just sent me the 16personalities and..... damn....... just when I thought we had something........ jk it’s honestly a decent big 5 test. Was not gonna mention how a lot of the questions are wack but like I have to mention it bc that’s unforgivable. I usually get INFP-T on it and yes so true I’m very introverted, pretty open, highly agreeable, not conscientious, and highly neurotic. But Jung-wise I am quite ISTP (a depressed one). This guy is pretty clearly functionally ESFP but he got ENFP-A on 16personalities. Totally makes sense tho he is very open! Probably a very high percentage. I’ll let him have it. I think he’s an enneagram 7. I h8 when people bring up things I like bc I do go cray and get too excited.

Anyway I did date this man for a month and he was definitely a 7 ESFP. At one point he got frustrated and said that I am like talking to a brick wall so that’s a super healthy and supportive 7+9 dynamic, right?!

Banged a cancer last night and every little thing has made me cry today is this like when they say you exchange energy during sex

Definitely kidding bc this guy is not a crier. It’s kinda funny with us both being Virgo Mars bc we’re stereotyped as being very kinky but it’s more like “whatever you want, I’ll do” but neither of us know/say what we want bc we’re both very passive. That’s some mutable shit right there.