tony: what? do you think i have him microchipped or something?

harley: well do you?

tony:

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

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peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

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steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

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tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

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loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

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scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

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peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

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peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

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bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

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peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

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tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

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steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

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mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

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thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

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peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

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*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

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bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

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steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

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*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

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harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

Peter: Blue

Harley: Blue is not a flavour

Peter: Yes it is

Harley: Why is red not a flavour though

Peter: Because its not blue

Harley: Blue is not a flavour I will die on this hill

Harley: Why are flies called flies but fish aren’t called swims?

Tony: Why are you both having this conversation in my bed and not literally anywhere else?

Peter: Because I’m comfy.

Harley: And it’s fun to bother you.

Tony: I will kick you both off.

Peter: No, you won’t.

Harley: Ow! What the hell!?

Tony: You’re right. I’d only kick Harley. You’re too adorable to kick, Pete.

tony: what's happening here

harley: it's not that big of a deal-

Peter: What?

Harley: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Tony: So I told them to be more mature

harley: i am. are you... y’know? 👀