Clint: Cuz she's the only chick, dude

Tony: She does look absolutely charmed hanging off my arm

Steve: Yeah but there's...other people here

Bruce: I really don't want to hang off Tony's arm...

Tony: Steve, do you want to go to the gala with me?

Steve: I suppose it's fair to share the duty. Nat overworks herself

Natasha: I couldn't give less of a shit in all honesty but okay

*The Gala*

They enter the room and Steve immediately puts his hand on the small of Tony's back. The man smiles privately, tilting his head up to whisper in Steve's ear

Tony: Y'know if you wanted to date me, Mr. Rogers, all you had to do was ask.

Steve: I—

Tony: Senator, hi! How's Loraine

The first text Steve gets on the flip phone, after he was falsly declared dead by TMZ

Steve: Why?

Tony: ...Cause we are boyfriends.

Steve: *smiling* To do what?

[crickets chirping]

Tony: ...

Tony: I'm actually not sure.

Steve: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

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peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

-

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

-

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

-

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

-

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

-

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

-

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

-

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

-

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

-

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

-

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

-

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

-

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

-

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

-

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

-

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

-

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

-

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

-

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!