incorrect marvel quotes

ava: oh yeah? who’s your bias?

yelena: what the FUCK

bob: oh no

yelena: alexei is my DAD. why are people writing this erotic garbage about us?

walker: can’t be worse than the stuff they write about me and bucky?

bucky: i’m not phased by it anymore. after seeing what they wrote about me and steve, nothing will ever shock me.

walker: i’m surprised. i’d think you’d be scandalized.

bucky: i may have been born in the 1920s, but i was anything but a blushing prude.

ava: what he means is that he fucked.

walker: yet another thing to add to the list of things i didn’t need to know about bucky.

bob: there’s a lot of fanfic about void. people apparently think the physical manifestation of my depression that entrapped all of new york in their greatest shames would be kinky in bed. to be honest, i think that’s the last thing on its mind

yelena: EUGH! me and WALKER? absolutely FUCKING not.

walker: should i be offended?

alexei: lena

alexei: lena

alexei: LENA

yelena: what, dad?

alexei: you need to drink water. hydration or diedration

yelena: that’s not the saying

alexei: here. i keep juice box in belt. just for you.

yelena: ugh. it’s warm! i do not want to drink warm juice.

alexei: is good for you. you know what dehydration does to a person. i mean, look at bob. unwell. sick sick man. like dry sponge, begging to be wet again.

yelena: please don’t say wet and bob in the same sentence.

alexei: that was not the same sentence. those were two different sentences.

yelena: fine! i will drink your warm juice. i will not be like bob.

agatha: (tearing up at him calling him mama)

steve and bucky who have actually time traveled and are communicating through media references

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steve: luke, i am your father

bucky, knowing he's gotta pull some winter soldier type shit: (revs up his human left arm) (vader ksch noise in agreement)

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steve trying to locate bucky in the depths of the forest: SWEET CAROLINE!

bucky, distantly: BA BA BA!

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steve, ziplining to the train where bucky fell off of in the original timeline: road work ahead?

tony: is your car okay?

peter: car?

tony:

harley: i am. are you... y’know? 👀

harley: i am gonna go in absolute silence because nobody is gonna have that fucking power over me. they’d be like “any last words? you must speak.” and i’d be like “...”

harley: like just do it, man

bucky: i’m a knife