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Heimdall: Loki, would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Odin, to Loki: You stab me, and when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Loki: You can stab me too, an then we'll have 20 million gold.
Odin: Good thinking.
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Heimdall: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Baldr: No, self care is doing stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Thor: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!
Loki: Lmao self care is taking Heimdall's birthday cake so I can eat the frosting.
Heimdall: If youch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
Heimdall: What's a word that's a mix between sad and mad?
Odin: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Loki: Smad.
A quick portrait of the man himself.
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I recently read your fic The Watchtower, and I BECAME OBSESSED. I'm so excited to read more ☺️ But while you're busy cooking this masterpiece... do you happen to have any Heimdall gow fic rec??
THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
One of the best fics I’ve ever read is That foolish little thing called Freedom by 247Elena on ao3. It’s not x reader, but it follows Heimdall if Kratos hadn’t killed him, and also goes into his past and ties in some Norse mythology! It’s really good. I haven’t finished it yet, but I read a little every now and then.
I also love Let the stars align for once by shinyokaiii (you’re in an arranged marriage) and Slut me out by Lmao_Happy (sex pollen). Both smutty x reader one-shots on ao3.
Loki: *Sends a super low quality image to the group chat*
Thor: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents.
Heimdall: If had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body by looking at this image, I'd have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Odin: Actually I did the math, Thor would have $225, not 15 cents.
Baldr: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Loki: While you're in there, could you buy me some apply juice?
Baldr: Sorry I only have one dollar.
Loki: :(
Odin: Wait, I just realised Thor would have $22,500, because it's a dollar per pixel, not a cent.
Baldr: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and apply juice.
Heimdall: With $22,500 you could buy anything you want.
Loki: Yeah, and he wants soda and apply juice.
Heimdall: Apply juice to what?
Loki: Directly to the forehead.
Odin: Great chat everyone
