Let's just go ahead and say it, or at least let me go ahead and say it. There is nothing wrong with saving money, there's nothing wrong with saving it for a rainy day. If there is one common theme I have noticed with myself is that spending money does not equal happiness. For the longest time I would find myself wanting for the latest thing wether it was silly electronics, clothing, etc. you name it. Every time without fail I would allow myself the liberty of indulging in items that are clearly out of my tax bracket, and all for what? A mini dopamine rush that goes away as soon as I realize that now I can't eat for the rest of the week due to having insufficient funds.
I for one am not sure where this behaviour stems from. However what I can say for certainty is that no matter what the item has been, an inanimate object has never made me feel whole. I've never bought something and then miraculously felt my depression leave my body. If anything it's the opposite, i'm usually left with feelings of guilt afterwards for indulging when I clearly should be working on myself instead. For the longest time I used to tell myself "Oh I work hard, this is what having a job is for". While there may be some truth to that statement I realized that time actually is money. All those hours spent dealing with BS at work, all those early mornings that I've had to get up for. Where is all of that? Do I have anything to show for it? Sadly the answer is no.
I've come to realize that all this time I was not respecting my own time. Instead of trying to build I would constantly just let whatever came my way leave me as quickly as it came (financially speaking ofc). All this to say that I think it's time I went back to basics. I'm starting to realize that maybe it's not that I don't have a livable wage in this day in age, it's more so always wanting for more and never being satisfied with what's already in front of me.
Due to life reasons (which I might share on another post one of these days.) I've sort of been forced into extreme minimalism. What do I mean by this? I've given up many a luxuries that I used to afford myself and I've been left with just the bare essentials. Clothing, food, and shelter. To which I honestly do not mind at all, I really thought it was going to be hard to live without all that i've lost. However I've now come to realize that all those things were just material items that I could've honestly done without. It took losing almost everything to realize that material items are not the things that are going to make me happy in this lifetime.
Here's an anecdote from my life, in 2016 I used to have a job while I was still in high school. It was a simple grocery store job, it didn't pay that much but back then I used to save my money for rainy days and didn't find reason to indulge in that which I didn't need. I had my savings, I was able to afford myself the things I wanted (simple pleasures really). Overall it was a nice simple existence. I've always been a simple person, it doesn't take that much to make me happy. However I think this was a lesson (a harsh one at that), that ultimately I need to stick to my own convictions and stop being influenced by all those around me. I already have everything I need to be happy inside me.
Metaphors and vague analogies aside, time is money and I think I'm ready to start respecting myself again. So don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for saving up for a rainy day. Or for not having the latest phone, shoes, clothes, car, (*insert materialistic item here). Materialistic items will only make you so happy, eventually there comes a point where those emotions peak and the feeling just goes away. It pays to be frugal, and trust me once you start being frugal and offer people yourself (your time, your presence) instead of material items, all those that are just there to receive and receive will quickly drop off and you'll see who really is there for you (Shocker not many stay but such is life).
Next time you are getting ready to spend half your paycheck or more even(Or I at that matter, I don't want to be a hypocrite and am actually going to actively do this) ask yourself, "will this fill the void inside me?" Usually the answer seems to be no, so with all that being said. Save your moneys! Stop spending recklessly! Start building for your future and stop being ok with instant gratification dopamine boosts.
Much love MagicB00biess xoxo (sorry for rambling towards the end this just became very nonsensical)
P.S life is easier when you don't have to worry about paying absurd amounts on monthly expenses. (Source Trust me bro)