Wade: If we're besties do I have to date you? Because I'm so not opposed to that. In fact I'm incredibly pro that in every way and on every surface
Peter: What? What are you even talking about
Wade: *Gestures around the table to all of Peter's best friends* Harry's your ex, MJ's your ex, Gwen's your ex, Johnny's your ex—
Peter: That's...not on purpose. It just happens to work out that way sometimes
Wade: Baby boy I haven't met a single friend of yours I'm sure you haven't hooked up with. I was even catching vibes on that hot villain chick
Peter: Black Cat is—nevermind. Listen, I'm a busy man. I don't have time to date people and maintain friendships
MJ: You did not just sum our relationship to killing two birds with one stone.
Peter: Uh...
Wade: So if all your best friends turn into your exes does that mean we should just get married so we don't jinx it with this whole platonic business
Peter: Wade, no. We're just friends
Johnny: He said that exact same thing to me once when I had his dick in my mouth so I wouldn't put much faith in it
Peter: This is why I don't do group hangouts.
