It's warm. Everything's good. I've got the life I've always dreamed of. All because you're here.

Peter Parker, my best friend.

Loving you is almost too easy, y'know? You've got that life-saving smile, laughter for the soul, one of the smartest brains ever, the kindest heart, and the strongest spirit ever. Everything about you is so perfect.

Another one of the best things about you is that I can trust you with myself in a way I can't with other people. Being able to depend on you knowing we won't hurt each other has changed my life. If it weren't for you, things would be so different.

Also, I'll be honest. I dream about you. More specifically, I dream about holding you closer than anyone ever has, kissing you, holding hands, waking up together in the morning, and laying next to each other. I can't seem to stop having the same dream every night about a life with you. Is that embarrassing?

I hope not. I hope one day my feeling reaches you and you feel the same.

I just can't help loving you, Peter Parker.

——————————————————————

It's cold. It's all gone to shit. My dreams have been crushed. All because of my dad's death.

I’m sorry to everyone.

As for loving you, it's no good. I don't have what you want and I can't provide what you need. The distance between us grows and I've let it poison me. Now all I can do is try to kill you and hope that kills me instead. Why did everything about you have to be so perfect?

I almost wish I hadn't trusted you. That and depending on you when clearly our closeness was just a hallucination of mine. Things could've been different if it weren't for my dad, you, and me being who we are.

God, I still dream about you. I never really stopped. Every time I hit you, push you; every time I hurt you I think about my dreams. I just couldn't stop thinking about them. Isn't that embarrassing?

I hope you never feel the same. I hope that you and MJ are happy because you love each other.

I can't stop loving you, even if you are Spider-Man.

——————————————————————

It's wet because of the rain. My armor is broken and my weapons are all gone. Which means I have no way of killing Spider-Man. Sorry, dad.

And Spider-Man—Peter, you're crying.

I tried to kill you. Why are you crying? I never did anything for you once I stopped thinking of you as my friend. I never let you close the distance because I felt hurt and jealous. There's no way you could've helped me because I simply wouldn't let you help me.

But I can't stop you now. You're holding me close, the closest you have in years. My head is on your shoulder and your hand is pressing against my abdomen. Your suit’s red, but we both know that I'm bleeding out.

I'm dying and there's nothing anyone can do. So, I just want to keep looking at you because I know this will be the last time. Even if it gives my feelings away after all this time.

i may or may not do them, NOT because i don't like it

beach

always