#excerptsofstories

"I never stopped loving him." she said. "I just started not showing it, ever since he told me that he's leaving."

“The constellation rained stars on us, that night.”

“I am homesick for a place that doesn’t exist.”

I don't know if I will ever stop loving you, I don't think that it is possible. I'm so very frightened that this shall be the case, but even more so than that, I am frightened that it shall not be. For a world where I do not love you is a world where my heart does not beat at all, and oh how terrible that would be. Perhaps I am scared most that you are the only person I shall ever know to love, and that all the others will be mistaken cases of temporary fixedness. Perhaps I am scared most that if I stop loving you, I shall therefore stop loving.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not smiling and laughing. I'm sorry that the weight on my shoulders has become too heavy that I can't stand upright anymore. I'm sorry that my heart is filled with so much pain it feels like it's going to explode. I'm sorry that the sadness is swallowing all the happiness in me like the wisps of white veil the light given out by the heart of the solar system. A river flows within me and there is a tornado cascading down on me every time I am alone. The tears flow from my eyes like a thunderstorm that goes on for days and the blue morning is still full of grey clouds even when the storm disappears. I'm sorry I have no energy to do anything but slumber does not overtake my body when the darkness outside is lit up with stars. I'm sorry I'm not full of love and light because I haven't been for some time, it was snatched from me by thieves that didn't give it back and took my love and light with them just so could they have a little of their own. I am drowning in the emptiness and chaos that is my mind and there is no door for me to escape, it sucks the life out of me every day and every night as I struggle to battle the demons that travel with me everywhere I go. It's the prison where I now call home.

Photograph

"I hope someday you will be able to cry everything out.", he said. "I hope one day you will run out of tears, too much, that you will be empty of loneliness. I hope your heart will be free of sadness—until happiness will have a chance to finally live inside of it."