The most heartbreaking thing is to witness someone slowly lose themselves because they cared too much for the wrong person.
Everydxyblvck (via instagram) // #91

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@everydxyblvck
The most heartbreaking thing is to witness someone slowly lose themselves because they cared too much for the wrong person.
Everydxyblvck (via instagram) // #91

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Safia Elhillo, from Home Is Not a Country; βThe Strangerβ
I miss you more than I thought I would. I'm over the worst part of pain. I've suffered through the pain and the sleepless nights and the dreading sinking feeling in my heart. You hurt me and you didn't care but still when someone mentions your name I feel my eyes light up and my ears perk up. I still think about seeing you again and for some reason still have hope that you'll care about me and that you always did. I'm trying to move on and heal and I have some good days where I leave you behind but on the days I don't I think of all the excuses of why you couldn't care about me the way you should've and find the hope of you returning finding its way back into my heart. But deep down I know you're not coming back. I know our story has ended but the memories will always stay with me.
19 OCT 2021 2:11 AM
Its been a year since I've seen or talked to you. There's been other people trying to get my attention, to gain my interest. But they don't laugh like you do, they don't have one dimple when they smile. They don't have your intense eyes and they don't have your voice. I tried to make myself forget but my heart keeps telling me it's you, that you're the one for me. If that was true then why did you leave? Why didn't you care to check how I was doing? There's only one answer to both these questions. You either didn't care at all or you didn't care like I think you did. You didn't care the way I wanted you to care about me. If you had my heart would'nt feel like a piece is missing.
19th Oct 2021. 2 AM.
Tokyo Sonata (2008) βγγ¦γγ§γ¦γ½γγΏβ dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa

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βYou didnβt care, and I pretended that I didnβt notice.β
β A.M.// (via tullipsink)
Sometimes it just feels like you took a piece of me when you left. I don't know when but I got attached. I'd tried so hard to keep my distance , to be cold but that didn't stop me from falling. You were special, you had your flaws but you were still a good person. I knew that even after trying to convince myself that you were awful. I tried to hate you and at one point I felt so much anger and hatred but as soon as you came and asked how I was doing, I'd already forgotten what I was angry about in the first place. You're going to be someone that's hard to forget but slowly and surely I'll do it. Maybe one day I won't feel my heart sink whenever someone mentions your name.
- Everydxyblvck
A letter to my second mother,
They say God loves the ones he tests most. You're someone Allah really loves. He wouldn't put you through all these trials and tribulations if he didn't love you. You have good intentions and a pure heart no matter what you've done in the past. What's happened in your life, you've gotten through it and what you're going through now you will get through it too insha'Allah. I pray you get through this hardship and any other hardship that comes your way. You deserve better. You deserve the world and more. You're always in my duas, may Allah Grant you with happiness and a content heart. May you get everything you wished for and more.
Everydxyblvck (via instagram)
β I can't wait for you forever, I have to let you go.β
She looked at me with a flicker of emotion in her eyes, waiting for a response.
I stayed silent for a while and then managed to get some words out.
β I don't want you to let me go, not just yet.β
Her eyes turned cold as she stared at me. She laughed as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
β That's not good enough. I can't wait around for someone who's never going to be there, who's never going to show up. I can't show up for someone who won't do the same for me. You can't expect me to do that, not anymore.β
Everydxyblvck (via instagram)
I think forgiving someone who hurt you is hard. Sometimes we judge people too quickly and on one instance. People can change, we all have our good and bad days. Sometimes holding on to anger or not forgiving someone shows who we really are and shows that we have things we need to work on. That's not to say your feelings aren't valid you are allowed to feel hurt and if you need space, take it. Others have emotions too, don't let one bad day define their character. They have good in them too. Have a soft heart and let the hatred in your heart go.
Everydxyblvck (via instagram)

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I looked at my friend, she wringed her hands together repeatedly as she sat opposite me with a look of sadness evident in her eyes.
βYou ever feel like you're not enough, like no matter what you try to do. No matter how much you try to change yourself and be who they want you to be, it's not good enough for them. You're never enough for them.β
She looked at the floor as a disappointed look flashed across her face.
β Yeah, but then I realised you shouldn't need to change yourself for someone to like you. You should never feel pressured to fit in and be who they want you to be when you're really someone else. They're not worth your time if they don't appreciate you as a person and accept you just as you are.β
Everydxyblvck (via instagram)
I looked at you. I watched as you shook your head and carried on in conversation and laughed at something they'd said. Then you looked at me, with a flicker of emotion in your eyes and your smile vanished. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was me who ruined it after all.
Everydxyblvck (via Instagram)
People will try to come back into your life because you let them. Don't let someone take advantage of your emotions, your kindness and forgiveness. If they're not changing or are not considerate of how you feel then leave or keep as much distance as you can. If you don't, you'll end up watering a flower that died a long time ago.
Everydxyblvck (via instagram)
You do deserve better. You're settling because you think it won't get better, that right now, it's the best you can get. But you're worthy of much more than you think. I hope one day you realise you're worthy of what you dream about and wish for. That a heart that big deserves the whole world and more.
Everydxyblvck (via instagram)
I thought if I ignored my pain long enough it would disappear. But you can't run away when you carry a heavy heart. You feel the pain everytime there's too much silence or when you overthink for too long. Sometimes the pain never goes away but we get better with dealing with it, better at acknowledging that we'll get through this hardship if we hold on for just a little longer.
Everydxyblvck (via Instagram)

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I hated giving my all to people and not getting the same back. I guess they just didn't care as much as I thought they did.
Everydxyblvck (via Instagram)
I look back and think of how far I've come. I went throught the darkest of days with just myself. My hearts been through pain only God saw. I remember begging God to heal me and he did. He showed me that I didn't need anyone, I didn't need to beg someone to see my worth, to seek validation when the strength came through me. I battled through all the struggles by myself and now I know I can get through anything alone.
Everydxyblvck (via Instagram)