#ex proshipper

1. does anyone have any alternative sites

Can you imagine a proshipper talking about their traumatic experiences as an ex-anti and in response, antis laughed at them? You all would be fuming, so why is it magically okay when it’s the reverse of that? “This is funny!” “Lmfao!” “Why seek help?” This isn’t even counting the times I’ve seen proshippers say that ex proshippers are dumb or evil or lacking in morals when being an ex proshipper ≠ being an anti.

Before I start I want to preface this by saying that while I do not have issues with the proship community in general, my time in the community severely traumatized me and left me feeling morally bankrupt and like I have skeletons in my closet. I met many wonderful people in that community, people who share the same love for fiction and hatred of censorship and harassment that I do.

However, my ex (a very proud proshipper) severely traumatized me through encouraged consumption of media that dug up my past traumas, made me feel like a disgusting person, and generally leaves me feeling like I have done deplorable things that will ruin my life and current relationships if they are known about. This goes not just for his encouragement of media labeled as specifically darkship, but also several other things he did in the relationship, which I will not be getting into.

During our relationship, he fully acknowledged my CSA trauma, trauma which is also tied to ince$t. He encouraged me to consume fictional media containing both, separately and combined, during which I did. At the time I don't think I realized that I was doing this to harm myself and to relive what happened to me to understand why but it always left me with a sour taste in my mouth and my heart filled with guilt.

Occasionally, I wrote stories with these topics but the way that I wrote them was an exploration of the effects they leave people and characters with. The only time I wrote or created anything sexualized with this topic was another instance of sh with him encouraging me to create it. For him, however, I don't think there was any instance were it wasn't sexualized and he would not only encourage me to consume media like this in a sexualized context but push it on me during sexual situations between the two of us when I could not handle it.

Now, I am left feeling like I am just as bad as my abuser. I'm left feeling like I will never be able to tell anyone publicly what he did to me if I ever felt like I wanted to, because I'm afraid that if I do he will use screenshots of me saying things I was heavily influenced and encouraged to say and do to attempt to discredit me. I'm left feeling like I'm carrying a reputation and life ruining secret. I especially feel this because I do not for sure have concrete evidence to prove my abuse as many of our harmful interactions do not exist in text and at the time I was unaware of how I was being influenced.

I just want to know if anyone who's been in a similar situation knows how I can stop living in fear and in shame. I feel so disgusting for the things I engaged in and consumed to harm myself under the encouragement and influence of someone who hurt me so greatly I didn't know who I was and dissociated so heavily I believed someone else was in control of my mind at times. I do not wish to start or reignite discourse of any kind, I do not want harassment in the notes of this. If you wonder where I stand, I'm heavily anti censorship, anti harassment, believe people should have the right to consume and create what they want including shipping what they want. I recognize that while it was the opposite of a coping mechanism for me, consuming media containing topics related to peoples trauma may be a coping mechanism for them. You are allowed to be grossed out or hurt by something, that simply means it's not for you and you need to ignore it. People will do what they want with art and fiction, you cannot police it and trying to do so makes you an asshole.

I USED to be a proshipper that would ship the Morty x Rick ship cuz of early Internet access and exposure to 🌽 via an old 'friend' of mine when I was WAY younger..

im sorry, but im no longer a proshipper/comshipper

Ive whanted to quit proshipping for a while now, ive been forcing myself to make theese types of content

It was very hard for me, to leave my "safespace" ive had for over a year

Thanks so much. Time flies, huh? Yeah also glad to not be following the proship blogs I followed back then. Also fandoms in 2013 basically normalized some fucked up shit, I still remember how popular that one ship between a teenager and his adult ghost cousin was in the Dude That's My Ghost fandom back then. :/

God, a long time ago. It's totally been dropped. At that point I had been groomed into thinking it was normal. (Thanks Eddsworld Amino and Black Butler fandom very cool and based. /sarcasm)

When I hit 16 I found out that it wasn't a normal thing. Obviously changed my description. Does it still say it somewhere? I'll actually rip my lungs out and roll over dead if it does. I think anyone under the age of 18 is gross annoying nowadays anyway. Never having kids, those things infuriate me.

The first is Double Trouble from She-da and the Princessses of Power who is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-prat, Devqueer (link—> here) and a chronosian who reclaims the term “Transage”. 

The second is Alador Blight from the Owl House who is a chronosian, Catqueer (link—> here) with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATS and proshippers!

Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-PRAT, devqueer, and reclaims the term transage!

Alador Blight from the Owl House is a chronosian catqueer with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATs and proshippers