#ex radqueer

Radqueer Symbols To Look Out For

FAQ below the cut

if you are one of these people, I'm proud of you for leaving a harmful community which harmed you in the past or which you used to support but don't anymore. You are valid and i'll support you.

Imagine you're a paraphile who joined the radqueer 'community' because you felt like nobody else would accept you, and then when you start looking into leaving you see so much paramisia, death threats, rape threats, demonization, etc. from anti radqueers. Would that not push you further into the "nobody else would accept me" mindset??

Imagine you're a darkshipper who joined the radqueer 'community' because you felt like no other community would accept you, and then you start looking into leaving and it's all "proshippers are pedos" "proshippers should kts" "proshippers deserve their trauma" "proshippers should be arrested" "proshippers can't be trusted around children and animals". Would that not push you further into the "only radqueers accept me" mindset??

Imagine you're a nontraumagenic system trying to leave the radqueer 'community', or you developed OSDD/DID-like symptoms trying to 'transition' like we did with NPD, or you're just a strongly pro-endo traumagenic system, but when you try looking into leaving, so much in the anti radqueer tags is posted by anti-endos and anti-willos if not specifically tagged as anti-endo?? Would that not push you further into the "all antis are hateful bigots who can't even handle endos" mindset?? I think that would be especially bad for systems with OSDD/DID-like symptoms from trying to 'transition' because then they wouldn't even have a garuantee that specifically pro-endo spaces would accept them.

Imagine you have atypical dysphoria and use transIDs to cope with it and you're considering leaving the radqueer 'community', but when you start looking into anti radqueer spaces it's filled with "transID DNI", directly tying transIDs to radqueers by phrasing things like "radqueer/transID", and people saying things like "dear transautistics, remember that you're allistic and you'll never be autistic and if you fully want to be while knowing it's a serious disability and not all fun and games then you should kys" and "Oh you're transID?? You should be transsuicidal next"?? Would that not push you further into the "nobody but radqueers will ever understand/accept my atypical dysphoria" mindset?? Like I'm transID complex myself, I don't really like the prefix trans being used for it and tying it to transgender, I don't like the appropriation of terms like transracial and transspecies, I don't believe you can transition to a mental disorder or race or ethnicity or intersex condition, I'm very anti transharmed/transharmful. But atypical dysphoria still deserves to be taken seriously!! Going out of your way to make people with atypical dysphoria feel dysphoric because of the 'community' they've fallen into trying to cope with it is asshole behavior (and in some cases, like if the person has BIID, then it's just straight up ableism). I know from personal experience that it can be hard to let go of transIDs that felt important to you when you were radqueer.

I'm just gonna take this opportunity to say, since I used transautistics as an example and I'm 'cis'austistic, people who have atypical dysphoria about not having autism are valid, it's okay to be dysphoric, hell it's even okay to use fidget toys or noise canceling headphones and use terms like desirautistic if it makes you happy, you don't need to be radqueer to have your experiences validated and to get some dysphoria relief.

I actually have a theory that pressure from the radqueer 'community' to use transIDs and MUDs and developing new paraphilias because of the radqueer 'community' and aggressive behavior from antis is somewhat intentional?? Even if just subconsciously. It's strange how much untagged graphic smut and encouraging people to use (more) transIDs and use transIDs for any reason and transID transition tips there are. It certainly makes it harder to leave. Also the sheer number of radqueer BAH blogs that come with harmful transIDs and paraphilias built in?? The sheer amount of transplurals and transDID and transOSDD generally?? The sheer number of 'cis'systems in the radqueer 'community'?? It almost feels like they want you to split headmates to drag you back into the radqueer 'community' again.

and the collective alternatives:

Alterpathy: The practice of identifying, categorizing, and identifying with fictional and imagined illnesses due to a disconnect between your external and internal understanding of yourself - while also not intending to appropriate, romanticize, or cause harm to a minority group.

this is going to be a really long post because i want to cover all the basics. future coinings will not be nearly as long.

identifying, categorizing, and identifying with: making flags, coining terms, and posting about your experience. alterpathic conditions can also be divided into a couple of categories, which are detailed later in the post.

disconnect between your external and internal understanding of yourself: for some reason, even though you're aware that this isn't how conditions that affect the body work, you experience a reoccurring condition that is serious to you. this can be because of atypical dysphoria, delusions, alternate beliefs, delusions, or anything else similar.

appropriation, romanticism, causing harm: this doesn't mean that actions you take are automatically excused of harm, but it's a silent agreement and nodding between yourself and others that you're not trying to come from a place of ableism/bigotry.

ignoring/excusing bigotry: examples of ignoring/excusing bigotry would be implying that someone can "coin" a real mental illness/other condition in the same way you can coin a gender, implying you can "transition" into a congenital condition with subliminal videos or otherwise, and anything else that goes against science's understanding of illness and neurodivergence. there's nuance to this, of course, because the psychology field isn't an absolutely perfect field that can do no wrong - it's up to the person coining/the person identifying to look at the situation and act accordingly.

examples of situations that might bring you to identify this way:

being a fictive/kin/introject/etc of a character who had a disease or type of injury that was invented for their media, like zombie diseases, cyberbrain cclerosis, the cutie pox, hanahaki disease, etc, and feeling affected by it in any way

experiencing something in your system's headspace that's like a reoccurring illness

having limbs like wings, tails, horns, etc in your headspace with some kind of damage to them that causes you phantom discomfort

feeling anxiety/frustration because you're experiencing something on a metaphysical level which you know your physical body isn't experiencing, but it's still very serious to you and possibly even hurting your quality of life

grammar:

alterpathy: 1) the practice of naming/making flags/categorizing these, "here's my mogai blog and here's my alterpathy blog"; 2) this kind of condition. "my depression and my alterpathy make it hard for me," "i might have an alterpathy but i'm not sure"

alterpathic: descriptor that describes these conditions. "it's alterpathic," "how to cope with alterpathic..."

inspiration and some context on why we're coining this

this was largely inspired by the r*dqueer term of x*nomalady, because after the system looked into it, we did see a lot of cases of people who were genuinely experiencing something serious, but didn't seem to think that there was any space other than the rqc that would be accepting of someone identifying with a disease that technically didn't exist. these cases were mixed in with genuinely ableist people who displayed the behaviors i listed above in "ignoring/excusing bigotry," which feels wrong to me, and i think that people who aren't intending to harm anyone deserve their own terminology and space.

crossover

there is some crossover with dissodic, desirdae, intusui, ethix +etc good faith terms related to feeling like you have, internally have, desire, or identify with something you technically don't, and i think that's fine. you can identify with an alterpathic term and the equivalent of it in another term umbrella, that's fine. do whatever fits best to describe your experiences.

so, is this just x*nomalady but Good?

not exactly, i don't want this to be thought of as a 1-to-1 anti rq equivalent, because again, some x*nomalady people are just coining """disorders""" for fun because they think you can do that in the same way you would a gender. this is both an identity/experience, and a silent agreement to be critical of what you're putting out into the world. this is also not focused on "coining" new conditions unless that's really necessary. (not necessary = making up a new illness for funsies. necessary = putting a name to a reoccuring condition you've been experiencing in headspace, etc.)

in the same way that terms like dissomei and intusui aren't 1-to-1 tr*nsid but Good and are separate term umbrellas that have their own nuances and notes, this is a good-faith alternative for people genuinely experiencing this kind of thing.

can i coin my own?

yes, this is open to everyone to coin! though, i will be posting a couple of flags for some alterpathic things in a couple of days, so you might want to wait until those come out so you can see how i format the post.

TDLR: considering yourself to have a condition that's not possible in reality because of some internal identity, but not in a fashion where you ignore/excuse bigotry.

nichelink: a newly coined niche relationship/relationship dynamic that differs from social norms, but is consensual and aware of potential risks.

differ from the norm: this is flexible and vague on purpose. see the ‘examples’ section.

probably niche: niche, probably not many people will identify as this, it’s just now been invented and posted on tumblr dot com, but it’s still a valid want and identity label.

aware of potential risks: this is inspired by the kink phrase Risk-aware consensual kink or risk-accepted consensual kink (RACK), and it means that everyone in the relationship is silently nodding and acknowledging there might be risks. you don’t have to prove yourself to others on this, don’t feel expected to tell everyone your personal business on how you’re managing this risk, because it’s not their relationship…

consensual: this is inspired by the kink phrase Consensual non-consent. basically it means that everyone in the relationship agreed to have the relationship play out a certain way, and the relationship may play out (maybe in a sort of roleplay-like fashion) like it’s non consensual, but everyone in the relationship is both expecting this to happen and still has the ultimate say on if things need to 100% stop or if it’s time for them to leave the relationship.

newly coined: i want to make it clear that existing relationship dynamics shouldn’t be shoved into this label because that feels disrespectful to those existing words, so essentially this means that existing words for it didn’t 100% describe this dynamic, so you can’t just say xyz thing is actually this term. (however, if you find one of these describes something you've already been doing for years, it's perfectly fine to start identifying with this of course.)

examples:

relationship where one person is treated as if they are an object owned by the other/s in the relationship

relationship where one person is treated as if they are a deity, and the other/s in the relationship are their followers

relationship where one person is treated as if they are a pet owned by the other/s in the relationship

relationship where one person is treated as if they are a child adopted by the other/s in the relationship

relationship where one person is transforming the other/s in the relationship into something

labels under this umbrella have a Ratings System.

All-Ages: a label that is suitable for all ages.

16+: a label that would be best if it was only used by people 16 years or older (bodily). this doesn’t mean that it’s NSFW or something, but should be used when the term has something pretty intense or serious about it which probably shouldn’t be practiced with younger people. all terms under this umbrella that involve identity modification or training are inherently 16+.

18+: a label that is inherently not suitable for people under 18 years (bodily).

grammar:

nichelinking: the state of being in this kind of relationship with someone else. “we’re nichelinking,” “we might start nichelinking”

nichelink: 1) the specific terms themself. “i coined a nichelink,” “definition: an all-ages nichelink where you…” 2) the relationship itself. “our nichelink,” “his last nichelink”

nichelinker: someone who participates in nichelinking.

there is currently no word for having a nichelink-related crush on someone, suggestions welcome.

inspirations

neurowiry

relationship anarchy

roleplay

found family tropes

desirdae

dissomei

my own personal experience of becoming someone’s “dad” - i made a friend in high school who i came out as transgender too, and then as a joke based on how people in the undertale fandom called toriel “mom,” we began referring to me as my friend’s “dad.” this joke stuck and then started genuinely being a serious part of our friendship. reflecting on this made me realize that there’s actually lots of relationships in life that’re similar, where you refer to each other as something unusual and it feels like it changes the entire status of your friendship. i liked the idea of making a word someone can use for this kind of friendship/relationship if they wanted.

i did a lot of writing about what this term means and can be used for and it ended up being long so you can read it on this page. (updated 1/10) here are some of the faq questions (but not all, so please read that page):

is this a k*nk thing?

no, it’s not intended to be. there are plenty of nichelink terms usable by anyone at any age. however if you’re an adult and you find a term appealing and start to use it because of k*nk things, more power to you, go right ahead.

is this anti r*dqueer?

i don’t find it makes sense to say that something that isn’t a stance term/blankqueer term is anti this or pro that. but this term was inspired by r*dqueer “consensual abuse” relationships, and i did start working on this because i saw that there were a lot of people who craved a specific relationship dynamic or way of being treated who felt like they couldn’t get that outside of the r*dqueer community, so i wanted to make a risk-aware and safer alternative that is not attached to a harmful community known for abuse, transphobia, racism, etc.

if you crave being treated a certain way, yes even in a “harmed” way, this term is welcome to you.

can i coin my own?

not yet. i’m still working out the kinks (🥁✨) on definitions and guidelines. i also have a big list of terms i’d like to coin for it. you can send me a request at least.

can i post this term on…

wiki/term definition sites: yes, and you don't have to ask, but i would like to be informed.

pinterest/other social medias: no, never, i'm not comfortable with someone else posting my term for me. go ahead.