#ennegram 1

The core neurosis of body types revolves around the idea of independence and autonomy from the outside world, ie not being affected by it. The contours of the body are the literal boundaries separating the person from their environment. Except body types don’t see this to their overfocus on intrusion, whether real or perceived. So they guard made up ideas about “boundaries”. The defense mechanism has nothing to do with being embodied. If anything, body types usually aren’t fully in the body. 

However, I am highly critical and picky. I have opinions about everything and I don't shut up. "I don't like that." (All day, everyday) "You can like that movie, but I believe it's pure garbage." "Don't wash the dishes, you don't do it well."

So, now I am pondering the idea of being a type 1, but I am still ultra-withdrawn, soft-voiced, ghostly... And type 1, being more oriented to action, and assertive (not as an assertive type, but the essence of the type) ... I don't know. Since I was a teenager, I am a chronic sad person, and maybe that could be a really intense line to 4. After this, could I be a 1 instead? Or being that withdrawn it is unlikely?

1w9s can be very introverted, as well as highly opinionated and critical of what displeases them or doesn't appeal to them, but some of this just sounds like potential Fi-dom ("I don't like that / it's pure garbage"). IFPs are highly opinionated and sometimes critical, since they judge things according to how they feel about them. 9-core IFPs may or may not silence themselves to get along with people; but a lot of 9w1s tell me that they feel excessively judgmental 'inside' but they are not comfortable expressing those judgments (for fear of alienation from their loved ones) easily. The more secure they are, the more they are able to express themselves, but it still takes some work to reach that point and not to be passive-aggressive instead.

Chronic sadness is just a condition and/or a symptom of a Melancholy Personality Type -- 4 is more 'frustration' than sadness (a lot of 9s also relate to sadness / melancholy, because the world is not up to their standards. How I've seen the line to 4 manifest in 1w9s that I know is occasional bouts of hysterics and/or melodrama when their boundaries are crossed, frustration with being misunderstood or persecuted or accused of having impure motivations; being moodier than usual and/or moving away from 'duty' into self-absorption.

You could look into sp-dom 9, they tend to be more outspoken than the social or sexual dominants, or you could consider 1w9 more deeply, since it's possible that's correct.

Which are you more afraid of, being bad/wrong (and having fierce opinions about everything, most of which doesn't live up to your high standards), or having your inner peace disrupted by someone else?

By that I mean, mbti/enneagram health comes from embracing the healthy side of yourself. Let's put this into more easy terms: you make yourself more unhealthy by rejecting the aspects of your core while trying to embrace your integration line. As a 9, rejecting peace, acceptance, etc, always trying to be assertive, ends up backfiring, and might actually make you disintegrate. If I want to integrate, I have to embrace my healthy 9 qualities -- acceptance of situations, in "this is what is happening right now -- what can I do here?"-- that is integration behavior. It simultaneously embraces the 9's strength of acceptance and peace with what is, while combating gut-based resistance to reality.

This can apply to any type. If 8 wishes to be a protector, ideally, they will be kind to those they're protecting -> int to 2. 4s, "This is what I'm feeling, how can I act on it?) -> 4 goes to 1. 2s, if they want to keep taking care of people, must take time for themselves and realize they don't have to work so hard to be special to people -> 2 goes to 4. And so on.