#8w9

My Father and I were on vacation, going and seeing family, and my Aunt is very eco-friendly/environmentally aware so she uses cloth napkins. We were getting ready to eat French toast and my Dad reached for a napkin. They all had prints on them as my Aunt also recycles cloth material and she does extremely well with her craft sewing machines.

The napkin was black with colorful outlines for the print. What looked to be a cowboy on the napkin actually was an Outlaw. And that’s what the napkin even said.

I'm stuck between xNTJ and between 8w9/9w8. I hope you could help me verify which one is correct.

I have strong Ni. I have a very specific vision of my life and I'm working toward it. I can't imagine myself not working toward this vision. I make intuitive leap all the time and I am very in tuned with symbolism and subtext between the lines which in turn make me very good at reading people and situations. Laying traps and weaponizing symbolism and abstract ideas are my talents (for example, uniting people by a shared idea or turning my enemies into a symbol and uses that to get people to hate them).

But I also have pretty strong Se as well. I'm an adrenaline junky. I want a job that allows me to get myself out there and take actions. Preferably in a dangerous area. Hiding behind a wall, being safe in the office, working in the city in a predictable corporate job, that's my version of hell.

I just had a job interview for an NGO project implementor position. The reason I want this job is because it's right by the border where it is basically an active warzone (not in my country, but it spills over all the time) and it's a job where I can use my skills to fight for people who are being treated unjustly. And for a dream job that I want to do eventually, it's also a highly physically intensive, high speed and high tempo job. I can't imagine myself working a 'quiet' job behind the scene without losing my mind from boredom.

But, I won't do the job for free. Because while I have a very strong conviction to do the right thing (at the expense of my safety), I need to have my needs met. Meaning, I need to be paid what I deserve. Because idealism cannot get food on the table. Like that job I mentioned above, I negotiated the salary with my interviewer in what boils down to 'you know I'm the best man for the job but unless you pay me what I deserve, I won't work with you'. Because I need to have the money to pay my bills and to be compensated for the time, energy and skills I invest in the job.

The interviewer yesterday asked me a question 'what do you do when you encounter a challenging task?' my honest internal reaction was 'what?' because to me, there is no challenging task. There is just a task. And every task can be accomplished. I told him 'it's very simple, identifying the objectives, identifying the situation and resources we are dealing with, make a plan of action then execute it.' I don't know how other guys answer him because he looked surprised. To me, it's just a basic common sense. It's something I do all the time without even thinking about it.

As for enneagram .. I don't know. On one hand, I do want people to like me. On the other, I don't really care any toe I'm stepping on if something is important enough. And people's opinions aren't all that important to me. While people liking and agreeing with me is good, even if no one agrees with me, I'll do what I set my mind on anyway. I am intense and have strong temper. If I want something, I go get it including men. If I like a man, I'll just ask them out. I'm not good at flirting. If I like to do something, I just do it. I have something on my mind, I say it. I'm not really afraid of anything (except not living my life to the fullest). We live, we die. I don't care if I die so long as I live a full life and use that life in service of something worth fighting for.

But when I'm super stressed out, I crawl back into myself and withdraw from everyone. Overanalyzing my every move and ending up making mistakes because I can't stop thinking and just do the job (the way I normally do).

I hope you the best, and it's nice to see you back here. We miss you!

Hey. :)

You sound like an ENTJ 8. Too much confidence with your risk taking and comfort with the physical world to have inferior Se. Your falling into over-analyzing and inertia fits with the 8 pattern of moving to 5 in stress and losing their usual bravado. You seem to also target people and see them as something you can "take down" if they get on your bad side ("weaponizing my Ni") in a way 9s don't do, but is common for 8s with high Ni.

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