#emerging bpd

i think i have enough symptoms (?) to warrant investigation. here are some because im not really sure and tumblr has seen me at my lowest low

i getr into an online relationship, obsess over them for a day or a few before feeling suffocated and ghosting them completely

ill do just about anything in the name of self destruction (SH, seeking out older men, skipping school)

my emotions change like english weather (as you can see by last night? i think it was where i went on a rant about how no one loves me but then felt reasonably fine a few hours later or an hour ago where the same thing happened)

i am extremely scared of being abandoned and i am aware to outsiders that it seems that im delusional when i say everyone hates me (they do even the ones who only say nice things to me)

when i have a bsf its impossible for me to see anything negative in them but when i see something ill cut them off and only see them as a traitor

As I understand it, in many places, clinicians are unable or reluctant to diagnose minors with BPD because they are "too young" and their personality is still changing. Sometimes, minors get diagnosed with "emerging borderline personality disorder" simply because they show traits of BPD even though they cannot be technically diagnosed with it.

For more information on BPD try these resources:

BPD in adolescents

National Institute of Mental Health

PsychCentral

HelpGuide

Love,

But everyone gets sad sometimes.

I can't avoid ever being close to anyone for my mental health because that in itself would be detrimental to my mental health. 

I feel abandoned right now but logically I know this is not the case.

I feel unlovable right now but I know people in the world that wouldn't agree.

I feel hideous right now, but I don't always feel this way.

I feel like I'm annoying everyone right now but the chances are, I'm not.