#drunkwriting

Happy Friday! Thank you so much for the prompt, it ended a bit more fluffy but I hope that's okay still? @dadrunkwriting Veilguard Pairing: Neve Gallus/female Rook (Asha Mercar) Length: 597 Rating: T Spoilers for Veilguard <3 “So, about the new apartment, I might have found a place.”

“Didn’t we agree that I’ll handle that?” Neve looked up from her borrowed desk, her hands holding onto multiple parchments. There was a cease between her brows which always tended to build up whenever she tried to figure out her next case. 

“We did, but we can’t live in the former Shadowdragon’s hideout forever, so… I thought it would be nice to look at a nice apartment I found in Docktown. You’ll like it. I promise.” 

Neve looked at her as her brows arched slightly, her lower lip drawn in. 

“What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch, I promise. It’s a nice apartment in Docktown, no unruly neighbours, or not too unruly at least.” Asha’s ears twitched as she recalled what her contact told her. “Oh, and the cobbled Swan is not that far away, so we can always grab a drink or two when we’re out,” she added, but Neve’s face didn’t change as she watched her with scepticism. 

“Aww come on, have I ever lied to you?” There was a known twinkle in Asha’s dark brown eyes. Neve knew it too well.

“Are you really asking me that?” The female detective scoffed, but a smile danced around the corners of her lips, making her face appear a tad softer. “I can barely count, anymore,” she added with a chuckle.

“Fine, Elek told me about it. But the threads aren’t too bad, once you know them better right? He said he owes us anyway, and we’re always free to take a look and then be done with it if we don’t want it. I just…” Asha paused, calmly studying Neve’s face while searching for the right words.

“I feel like it’s the least I can do. For you… and for us.” She was used to wearing her heart on her tongue, which brought her trouble more often than she could count.

Yet, sometimes she felt at a loss for words when she looked at Neve, the person who meant the most to her and who she wanted to have a life to look forward to, instead of the suffering she lived through.

“You are doing more than enough.” Neve’s voice softened when she stood up, her hair falling loose over her shoulders, shifting with her steps as the metal of her prosthetic clanked over the floor.

Her hands were warm when she took Asha’s, her stare so intense, Asha was certain she looked right into her soul.

“What happened to Minrathous wasn’t your fault.” Her voice was quiet yet strong at the same time. “I know I blamed you for a long time, and I know I did because I felt sadness, anger and despair at the same time. Minrathous was our home, and I couldn’t comprehend why it needed to suffer. But the choice you had to make was an impossible one.” she paused as she leaned her head against Asha’s, the touch ever so soft.

Fuck me.

Nine days after my fourteen day period, I'm bleeding again. I slightly bled two days ago after sex. Now I'm drunk, blogging and bleeding.

I dont want to give up, but it feels like I'm never going to be pregnant. Nothing matters...everything is worthless and I'm useless. Yeah. I'm blessed. I'm rich in love, gifts...whatever, but the most important desire in my life since I was young--having a biological child, is far from my grasp.

My body is broken. I'm broken. I'm officially worth nothing compared to the years of dreaming of pregnancy and motherhood. Today is a dark day...

I can't even call the doctor tomorrow to tell them I'm on my first day of my period because it is a Saturday. I'm supposed to call on the first day of my cycle to figure out my fertility test days and now I'm stuck waiting all weekend to call my doctor.

Timing. Frustration. Demise.

So I said I was going to write every day and I almost forgot about today.

See, this is what happens when I get home from work and also want to have a life. Then I’m not at home to write. 

Lucky - see, I was in the shower ready for bed when I remembered I hadn’t yet written today. Lucky I had a semi-intoxicated revelation... that I hadn’t written yet.

Yesterday I tried to be a bit fancy with my handwritten journal entry. Wrote about a dream I had. It wasn’t as interesting once put down on pen and paper but it was thrilling in my head. 

In other news, I was interviewed by someone today and it was the most expedient way to learn that I was, in fact, a spectacularly ordinary and dull person. 

Thank ye for listening oh internet. I send these words out into the nether and somehow my soul is freed but a little.