#intoxicated

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“What will he think of you? Drunk like this and spending so much money,” Rafe said as y/n, his step mom passed out on her office chair after drinking more than two bottles, and maybe gave some money away after finding out her husbands lies.

“Never understood what you saw in him, but I guess money and love bombing gets to the best of them,” Rafe said as he came up to her, striking her hair as he watched her lips mumble.

“You still with me? Of course not. You wouldn’t be able to copperhead anything in about to do to you,” Rafe smirked as he slowly pulled his zipper down before unbuttoning his pants.

“Maybe after tonight, you’ll see this isn’t the family you should be with. Maybe we can make our own,” Rafe said as he pulled himself out, letting his cock spring tight in her face.

“C’mere,” the young man softly grabbed y/n’s hair to pull her head close to the edge of the bed. “Open up,” Rafe whispered as he dipped his hips to line up before pushing through her lips.

“Oh, yeah — Now ain’t that a nice view,” Rafe said as he thrusted his hips slowly, fucking her mouth like the fleshlight he always dreamt to be her.

“Too damn pretty to be with that bastard. After a while, I’ll have more money than him. Maybe then you’ll want me instead,”

Rafe had let his intrusive thoughts get to him tonight out of every other night. She looked to good in her robe, passed out with make up stains running down her face.

“Fuck, mommy,” Rafe let out, not knowing he was capable of using that word ever in his life. He was too far in the moment to care how whipped he was for his step mother.

After the Blip, after defeating Thanos, the Avengers thought it would be a good idea to take some time off. Hell, they deserved it more than anyone. When Steve suggested that he wanted Bucky to come to the Compound, Tony was hesitant about letting him into the group because of what he did to his parents, but he knew that he couldn’t stay mad for long. It’ll just take a lot of time to trust Bucky again.

While everyone got settled in, Steve had shown Bucky to his room, which was away from everyone, because he knew that he wanted to be alone. To gather his thoughts, to get used to civilization again.

When Bucky got settled, he looked around, trying not to break down. Hydra has taken everything away from him. His childhood, his life, his dignity. His memory. Everything. Bucky has never felt so alone and so out of place, more than he does now.

He can still feel the pain that they caused him, the darkness followed him everywhere, the faces. Everything and he hated it. He hated feeling this way. He also had to go to therapy, which is part of his court-pardon for his actions.

Bucky hated how he was somewhat conscious of his actions when he was under Hydra’s control. The Winter Soldier memories haunted his mind when it’s most vulnerable while he’s sleeping. So that’s why he closed himself off, to the team, to Steve, his best friend and even to Sam.

He knew that he needed help, but how do you get nightmares to stop?

A knock followed with a voice from your office door, “hey doc, you got a minute?” You peer up from your glasses to see Tony with his arms crossed and leaning against the door frame. You nodded with a warm smile.

“‘Course you can, Tony. Shut the door, please.” You told him and he did what he was told and took a seat on your white couch leaning against the wall.

“I still don’t know if I made the right decision…” He began with a pause. Before continuing, “do you think I did? By letting Barnes stay in the Compound?”

You lean back, folding your arms over your chest. “I think you did, that just means that you’re willing to forgive him, but that doesn’t mean you should forget. Yes, it will take time for you to trust him, but the fact that you’re letting him stay here, means you have a good heart, Tony. Don’t forget that.”

You could see the gears spinning in his head, before he said, “you’re right. See? This is why I hired you, Y/N. You’re good at your job.”

You laugh, thanking him and waving as he walks out of your office to bother his wife. Another knock soon filled your ears, once this time you knew the voice.

“Hey Y/N, got a second?” Steve asked, leaning on the door frame. You shoot him a smile, “Hey Stevie, what can I do for you, Cap?”

He scratched the back of his neck, “uhm, I was hoping you could help Buck around..? It might do him some good to see a fresh new face.” He said.

You raised your eyebrow, “and you’re sure he’s okay with this? I mean, of course I’ll do it, but I need his content first, before I move forward.”

“We spoke about it and he’s fine with it.” He responded and you nodded your head, got up from your seat and fixed your outfit as well as your hair. You followed Steve to the end of the hall, heels clacking against the floor, echoing through the Compound.

Once the both of you made it to Bucky’s door, Steve knocked gently. “Buck? There’s someone I want you to meet.”

There was silence on his side, until his muffled response came through. “I told you to leave it alone. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I will go when I’m ready.”

You glance at Steve, “I thought you said he’s fine with it? C’mon, I wanna talk to you.” You tell him as you walk away from Bucky’s door, making your way into your office as Steve closes the door behind him, leaning his back against it.

“Stevie, I understand that you want your best friend back, believe me, I do. But lying to me and forcing him to talk, to open up about his trauma and what he’s been through, isn’t gonna help you or him. You have to let him make his own decisions, let him find his own feeting. He is still adjusting after everything that’s happened. Give him time and space, Stevie, he’ll come around.”

Steve sighs, running a hand through his hair, “I just want my best friend back.”

You felt for Steve, because watching your best friend fall from a train and then to see him a whole decade later, but knowing he was alive, was disheartening. You could tell that Steve really cares for Bucky and treats like the brother he’s never had.

“You’re right doc, I’m sorry.” He apologizes and you smile softly, patting his shoulder. “Just think about what I said. Give him time, he’ll come to you on his own.” Steve nodded and hugged you.

“You’re the best therapist ever.” He commented, making you laugh and hugged him back. “And you’re the best patient ever. Take care of yourself, Stevie.”

He gave you one last hug, before heading out of your office and waved at you. You waved back with a smile. As you were about to pack up, a knock followed up by a soft voice, “D-do, uhm have a minute, Y/N?” You turned around to see Bucky, fiddling with the sleeve of his Harley shirt and you just smiled softly.

“Of course I do, Sarge, come in.” You said to him and he entered the room, closing the door behind him, looking around your office. It was a dark Lavender color, with a bookcase in the corner of the room, a couple of plants, and a nice white couch leaning on the wall.

“Will anything leave this room?” He asked, after a moment of silence without looking at you as he glanced at the books you had.

“No, nothing leaves this room. Just you and me, Bucky.”

He sighs to himself, turning around to face you. You just lean back on your desk, waiting for him. You wanted to go at his pace.

“I..” He hesitated, exhaling deeply. “I hate the way I am. I hate the way I’m feeling. I hate the constant nightmares, I hate the way I was brainwashed, I..just hate how they managed to break me..”

Your heart cracked at the default in his voice, like he was tired. Like he’s been tired for years.

“You have PTSD. Many War Veterans have it. But what you went through..? That’s horrible. Nobody deserves that. It’s not your fault, Bucky. You weren’t yourself—“ He cut you off, “but I did! I killed innocent people and. And, I’m not a killer..”

You honestly felt like crying when he said that.

You had some intel about him when he was the Winter Soldier and from what Tony told you, but you didn’t believe it. Even though you didn’t know, you didn’t believe it. This used to be a young boy who got drafted and held and used against his own will.

You walk over to the couch, sitting on the opposite side with a warm look.

“I know you’re not. You’re not him anymore. No matter what others may think, you are NOT the Winter Soldier. I want to try something with you. Are you comfortable with that?” You asked gently. He nodded his head softly.

You give him a small smile, “we're gonna do a breathing exercise. Whenever you get stressed or overwhelmed, use it. Ready?”

He followed your breathing, mumbling numbers along with you and you guys did that a few more times and his eyes fluttered open. “Thank you.”

You nodded with a soft smile. “Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”

He then asked, “Do you think you could be my therapist instead? I don’t feel like going out for it.”

“Let me see what I can do and I’ll let you know?” You said, making him nod with a small smile gracing his face.

“Thank you, you, uh, made me feel better. Thank you for not looking at me like a monster.” He said softly, almost too softly that you missed it, but you didn’t, instead you just glanced at him. “How does another session sound for tomorrow?”

“Sounds good. See ya tomorrow, doc.” And leaves your office.

You have your work cut out, but if it means helping Bucky regain the control and confidence he once lost, then you will help him all you can.

It has been a couple days since Bucky last saw her. The last visit got him thinking.

Even though it was a couple of days, if there was anyone who really and I mean really understands Bucky, it was her.

She saw right through him. But she always saw the good in him. He didn’t think he was good though. Not after all things he has done.

The court has agreed to let Y/n be Bucky’s therapist, BUT she has to report them, if he ever missed a session. Bucky feels like he’s trapped like this, he understood the consequences of his actions though, so he’ll see this out.

As Bucky was in his room, he stared at himself in the mirror above the sink. He didn’t recognize himself. His blue eyes were dark, they didn’t light up as they used to. His stubble started coming in more and more. He lost everything. HYDRA took everything.

They took his life.

They took his arm.

They took his soul.

Everything.

Bucky wanted to start to feel normal for once, instead of a monster that everyone makes him out to be.

He missed how life used to be simpler back in the back. He missed laughing, he missed smiling.

There was this darkness that lingers inside him and he wishes that he could get rid of that darkness, but it was part of him now. It made him who he is today.

They made him who he is today.

A monster. A prosthetic arm killing machine.

And he never hated himself more than he does now.

The constant nightmares, the Winter Soldier lurking in the shadows, he could feel it. His senses were enhanced, his heating was enhanced. He was more muscular.

He just wants the pain to go away.

How could he make the pain go away?

How could he make it all stop?

“Is that what you want?” You asked him softly, waiting patiently for Bucky to answer.

It was the next day and that meant another session with you. So far he has been doing well. He’s been talking more, sharing more about what he could remember about his childhood, before he goes stoic again. And you just sat there patiently, waiting for him to talk in his own time. You honestly had all the time in the world.

Bucky nodded, “Yes..Yes, that's what I want. I..I want to get deprogrammed, so that I don’t hurt anyone else.”

You hum softly, writing in your notebook, before closing it and wheeled yourself in front of him.

“Bucky? Look at me.” You say, causing him to glance up at you with those haunting blue eyes.

There was no doubt that Bucky is attractive, because he is.

“I’m proud of the progress you’ve been making, I know it hasn’t been easy, but it will get easier. And if that’s what you want, I’ll see what Shuri can do, alright? You deserve good things Bucky, you deserve to have that peace that I know you’re longing for.”

You saw that he was trying to hold in his emotions when he asked you this, “can I give a hug? I hate physical contact, but for you, I’ll make an exception..”

You chuckled softly as you both started to get up from your seats and you stood on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck while his arms circled around your waist, face buried into your hair. “Thank you,” He murmured. “For all you’re doing to help me stay sane.”

You pull away just a tad to see his face and give him a smile. “You, Bucky Barnes, will always be in control of your life and your mind and your body again, when Shuri is done, yes?”

“Got it doc. See you after?” He hopes, before turning his back to walk out of your office.

“See you after, Bucky.”

And with that he left your office. You exhaled deeply and ran a hand through your hair. You will and cannot be falling for your patient.

Bucky hates nights where he can't sleep.

He hates that he’s struggling with nightmares. He knew that his mind was always his until HYDRA controlled him by those words. He wanted those words out of his brain. His memory. So nobody could ever trigger the Winter Soldier again.

It was a quiet night in the Compound as Bucky headed towards the kitchen, but pressed against the wall when he heard a voice. “Mamá, ¿Qué? No, podría hacer este trabajo, pero extraño mi casa. ¿Eso es malo?”

It was you, talking to your mom.

Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he spoke to his mom. He missed her a lot. Steve has given him pictures of her, so that he could always remember what she looked like.

He heard you sigh, “yes ma, I know, but I can’t just leave. I have to take care of my patients, mama.” And he hears you giggle.

It was the cutest sound he’s ever heard. He wants to hear it again. But his hearing perks up when he hears his name flowing from your lips.

“His name is Bucky and no, we aren’t dating mama, that's against the rules..” Another sigh falls from your lips, that he could practically hear the smile on your face. “Yes, he is cute, but we are not going to date. Uh-huh, go to bed mad woman, te amo mucho, màma.”

After you are done, he waits until your back turns facing the stove, before he skillfully steps into the kitchen, leaning against the wall and when you finally turn around, a startled gasp escapes from your lips, which makes him chuckle under his breath.

“Sorry doll, didn’t mean to scare you,” he says softly, scratching the back of his neck. “I, uh, couldn’t sleep. The nightmares are too much.”

Your eyes softened at his words. You knew that he struggled with sleeping because he told you once in one of your sessions.

“I’m just makin’ some tea, you want some and talk to me? Or we don’t have to talk at all. The choice is yours, Bucky.”

The choice is yours, Bucky.

It was his choice.

“Please? And n..No, I want to tell you, but I don’t want to revisit ‘em.” He replied, walking over to the counter where you stood and crossed his arms.

“That’s perfectly fine, look, I don’t expect you to open up about everything, but I’m happy to see that you’re trying to and that’s all that matters. Your feelings and what you’re feeling is completely valid, Bucky. Please don’t forget that.” You told him, coming face to face with him, staring into his steel blue eyes.

The air was tense, you could feel it and you knew that he could feel the tension too.

You even heard him swallow loudly, before taking a step back. “I..I won’t.. Thanks Y/N.”

Him saying your first name now, brought a shiver down your spine as you swallowed, holding his gaze, replying with a “you’re welcome, always happy to help,” and he gave you that smile, before leaving the kitchen.

You exhale slowly, fanning yourself trying to convince yourself that you cannot fall for your patient. But that was easier said than done.

“It’s good to see that you’re making progress Bucky,” she said with that same smile that he seems to come to love. It has been a few days since he came back from Wakanda and has been attending his therapy sessions. He tries not to miss one, but sometimes the world needs saving and he still wants to do some good and erase the bad things that he did.

Bucky has also been trying not to stare at you, but you make it so hard because of how beautiful you are.

It was unfair. Totally utterly unfair.

It has been a few days since he came back and got his new arm and was finally free from his tigger words. Bucky didn’t think he’s ever cried that much or that hard when Ayo read the words that haunted him for decades.

“…Bucky? You okay? We can stop for today, if you’d like.” She said with that damn voice that melted his insides into a puddle.

You have always been patient, kind, understanding towards him and that made him feel some type of way. Every time he’d see you talk to Steve or Sam, he would get jealous. He knew he shouldn’t, but he did.

He wanted you for himself. Wanted to see you squirm underneath him, moaning his name…

He should not be thinking about you like this. God, what’s wrong with him?

He swallows harshly, nodding his head. “Yeah, please.”

You never questioned what he does, so you nod your head with that pretty smile of yours.

I have to get outta here. Now. He thought to himself as he sat there, trying to hide his bulge that was forming in his jeans.

Once you dismissed him, he practically ran out of the room, speeding walking to his room avoiding Steve, as he tried to call his name.

Bucky locks himself in the room, pulling down his jeans to take his cock out and starts moving his wrist fast and hard.

This is so wrong. Thinking about you so wrong.

Bucky cursed under his breath, gasping softly as he felt himself come undone as he imagined you underneath him, squirming, moaning his first name.

‘James..’

A loud groan from his chest escaped his lips once he came again. He pants, leaning his head against the wall behind him.

This was so wrong. But why did it feel so good?

You didn’t know what it was, but Bucky was acting weird around you. Even in your guys’ sessions, he could barely look you in the eye. You don’t know what you did wrong. So you did the unthinkable, you went to Steve, because you needed to understand something.

“Y/N? Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, once he let you into his room, closing his door behind you. You paced around his room, running your hands through your hair and gazed up at him.

“I..I don’t know Steve. I think I might be going insane. I think I’m starting to like Bucky more than a patient and you know that cannot happen. It’s against the law.. I could lose my license, my job..” You rambled, pacing around but soon came to a halt when he put his hands on your shoulders.

“First of all, take a deep breath, okay?” He instructed and you did as you were told.

In the years that you have known Steve Rogers, you could definitely count him as one of your friends. Even when you weren’t working, almost half of the team was there for you whenever you needed them and you are always appreciative of them.

“Okay now, second of all, I’m not saying it’s normal to fall for a patient, but you have been Bucky’s therapist for almost a month in half, it will happen, because you’re getting to know him on a deeper level, getting more out from him, than I ever have since we got back.” He said, making you process what he was saying to you. He was right. You were really the only one who knew Bucky’s deepest darkest secrets and about his nightmares that he has been having. And now, here you are, confessing your feelings towards Bucky to Steve.

Gosh, what’s wrong with you?

”Go talk to him about it. It’d be better for him to know.” Steve suggested, which caused you to snap out of your train of thought, shaking your head vigorously.

”Abso-fucking-lutely not! Are you insane? If I do that, then he has to stop being my patient and go with Dr Raynor and she is the worst therapist, she makes all the other therapists look bad. No, I can’t do that.” You replied, taking back, pacing around again.

“Can’t or won’t?” Steve challenges, and that makes you stop pacing to really look at him. He has his eyebrow furrowed with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“Both.” Was all you said, before exiting his room, walking down the hall back to your office with your mind running 100MPH.

You really did wanna tell Bucky how you felt, because you found him intoxicated. His smile, his little laugh whenever you made a small joke, the playful banner between sessions.. Oh God, why didn’t you realize it before?

He was already flirting with you..

God, what were you going to do?

You couldn’t lose your job.

The months have been overwhelming.

Your feelings for Bucky were increasing the more time you spent talking to him, getting him out of that hard demeanor that he had up. It really did turn out that he is actually really sweet and flirty. And you don't know how much longer you can take it.

You had to do something about it or else, it’ll haunt you forever.

So as of right now, you were standing outside Bucky’s door, wanting to see if he was awake. As you raised your fist to knock, the door swung open and there he stood. Glistening in sheen sweat (probably because of a nightmare).

The both of them just silently stared at each other, before he looked down the hallway to see if there was anyone around, before grabbing your arm and pulling you into his room, shutting the door with your back.

“Tell me you feel it too. Tell me I’m..I’m just imagining it in my mind.” He whispers, gazing into your eyes, his long fingers tucking under your ears trailing his fingertips down your cheek and tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, "I won't do anything you don't-"

Shaking your head, grasping at his wrist. “I want it. I want it all, Please Bucky-“ He cuts your pleading off by slotting his lips between yours, moving his lips slowly, as if he was testing the water at first. But grew desperately, once you started kissing him back.

Bucky threads his hands into your hair, pulling you humanly close, if possible, your hardened nipples brushing against his chest making you whisper into his mouth. He hoisted you up, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to his bed that he never used.

“Do you want this?” He asked softly, when he broke the kiss, panting heavily looking into your eyes. Your chest raises up and down with every breath you take and nods.

“Take me Jamie, I want you. Make me yours.”

He breathes through his nose, eyes darkened when you used his first name. “You can’t tell me that, otherwise I’d kill every man that ever looks your way, that stares at you a certain way, even if he is my best friend. I’ve seen the way Steve looks at you, makes me wanna do unthinkable things that I can’t say out loud.”

Your eyes widen while your lips parted. Bucky has been jealous and you were completely unaware of it. You never really noticed, because you just assumed that was how his face was when he’s mad, but no, he was jealous.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this..” You groan as he kisses down the junction of your neck to your collarbone.

You really should be stopping this, but it felt too good. It has been too long since a man paid attention to your body.

Bucky kisses his way up to your ear, biting the lobe softly, before whispering, “Is that so, doll? I can’t get you out of my head, I know you feel the way about me.”

You whine underneath your breath, fighting for your last bit of control. “I’m not sure you could handle me,” You said, firmly holding onto the edge in your mind.

That made Bucky smirk, sliding his left hand over your shorts and pressed firmly. A sharp gasp escaped from your lips as your eyes widened once more. You felt his fingers move and that’s when all control left your body while you slouched against the pillow, head thrown up, chest rising up and down rapidly.

“Fuck.. Bucky, please?” You beg, not really knowing what you were begging for.

“What do you want, pretty girl, huh? Tell me. I wanna know everything you like.” He whispers huskily in your neck, leaving trails of sloppy kisses while moving his fingers faster.

You lift your hips meeting the movements of his hand, but he pinned your hips down on the mattress. “Stay the fuck still or I stop, baby.”

Baby.. Butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach when he calls you that.

He seems to take notice and smiles, “baby,” he purrs softly in your ear, smirking as he hears you groan and then moans when you pull on his hair.

“Be a good girl and spread these pretty legs for me, baby.”

You spread your legs lazily, your brain already feeling dizzy and foggy as he spoke to you with such confidence and warmth that warms your heart and soul.

Gasping quietly when you felt the warm flesh and cold metal on your skin and goosebumps made their way through your skin.

“You’re so fucking pretty, did you know that, doc? You could have anyone you want, but choose me. You’re mine now. I hope you know that.”

You nodded softly, murmuring, “yours, promise.” That made him chuckle.

“Oh sweet girl, I haven’t even done anything yet, and you’re already dumb for me. I love it.” He said, inserting himself into your warmth and you both moan. God. He was big.

Bucky exhales through his nose, holding his weight by placing his hands beside your head and drifts his eyes down underneath you, squirming ever so slightly. He draws his hips back a little bit, before thrusting in roughly as he bottoms out.

“Bucky!” You cried out, as he set his pace, all the sounds you were making, he wanted to make you do them again and again.

“Spread your legs wider, pretty, your body is mine tonight,” he commanded and you obeyed, following his orders. He smiles and praises you and grips your hips, snapping his hips faster. You dig your nails into his biceps, matching his thrusts catching Bucky off guard a bit, but groans as he feels your walls clamped down on his cock.

He moves his hand down to your body until he reaches your clit and rubs in tight circles, looking into your eyes instantly, while yours flutters closed but snapped open quickly.

“You better keep those gorgeous eyes on me or you won’t cum, got it, angel?” He huffs, coming close to his end as he goes faster.

You nod, “yes, yes. Fuck! Bucky- I’m..So close.. Please let me cum baby, please.” You begged. He wraps his left hand around your throat gently, hovering over your face.

“Say it. Say that you want me and you have me forever, gorgeous girl.” He pleads, now slowly down his hips into slow deep strokes, hitting your sweet spot each time.

“I want you. I want all of you, flaws and all, Bucky. You’re mine and I’m yours.” You reassured, and he pressed his lips with yours messily, snapping his hips faster and harder than ever.

“Cum with me doll, c’mon baby, give it to me… Fuuuuuck.” He slurred as he filled you up to the brim with his cum, panting in your neck as you held him close. You whine softly at the overstimulation when he grinds his hips to keep his cum from leaking out.

“Baby, s’too much. S’lot of cum, fuck, I can’t stop it.” He says drunkenly, clearly drunk on pleasure. “Don’t want you to stop. Give me everything you have, sweet boy, please.” You whispered and moaned when you felt him get hard again and his glossy eyes met yours with a smirk.

“We’re in for a long night, doll. Can’t get rid of me now.”

And you never did want to get rid of him. You will always be there with him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Uhm, so this happened?!!🥵🫣.

Almost 5,000 WORDS of pure porn, but I had to stop before I got carried away with it hehe.

But CUTIES!! We FINALLY FINISHED INTOXICATED and I’m so happy! It took me a long time to finish this, but it’ll be worth the wait, I promise.

I hope you babes enjoy this and remember to reblogs, comments and feedback are always appreciated🩷.

I love you!!