Please forgive me if this is a stupid question, but what exactly is the issue with the nblnb and associated tags being only full of smut? Hear me out; I'm saying that if those tags are full of posts purely by nonbinary people, then... it feels kind of victim-blamey to point at them and say "hey, why are you only posting smut, that's fetishizing yourself" y'know? I highly doubt that's what you intended, so, I feel like I'm definitely missing something here, because I don't go through any of those tags basically ever. If it's full of mostly Binary people making smut posts and cross-tagging or something, then I absolutely get where you're coming from. I'm not saying that you're wrong, it's just a bit confusing to understand your point without the full scope of context.
(I'm nb myself btw) (also if those tags really are full of mostly smut then I'm not exactly interested in looking into them myself, y'feel? That's why I'm turning to you for the context. Okay thank you have a good day)
It's not a stupid question! It's a very good question actually, thanks for asking π
When you see the more binary associated tags, there are many facets of the binary t4t experience. Binary trans people between themselves see themselves not only as sexually valuable, but as platonically, romantically, humourously, theoretically, philosophically. There is a sexual side, but it is clear that there is other forms of value binary trans people have when attracted to one another. It's also a more nagivateable experience for anyone looking for t4t relationships and relatable content that is aiming to not only see sex. Contrastingly, the nb4nb tags are basically only nonbinary people posting only sexual context about ourselves.
Keep in mind, non-binary people knowing their sexual value within themselves and other enben is not a bad thing. However, it becomes a problem when you seek multifaceted representation and community in nb4nb as a diamoric person or you are repulsed by constant sexual imagery and the community is just about sex. It reflects how as an enban you are sexualised and comes across as enben only valuing themselves and other enben through their sexual worth. It can feel dehumanising and potentially exclusive for enben too. This is a learned form of exorsexism; in a world that oppresses and discriminates against you, you are desexualised but also hypersexualised. You may lean into either one for survival. It's not a fault of the individuals, the problem will always lie with the system. Enben are allowed to express ourselves sexually, and this is very important to note. But when you are attempting to seek a multifaceted community that is meant to show the multifaceted nature of enben and our different experiences of diamoric/enbian attraction, it kind of hurts to only be sexualised and see only sex. It reminds of how there is an effort to show the nuances of binary trans life, relationships, love and humanity, but how that effort hasn't been extended to diamoric experiences.
It's not a matter of pushing out or marginalising the sexual side of our community, but bolstering the fact there is so much nuance to enben, our lives, our relationships, our love and our humanity that is outside of sex too.
