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I know the whole "your dead father is watching you from heaven" thing is supposed to be comforting, but it only works when you're like six-to-ten years old. Now I just imagine a man I barely know looking down at me like this every time I take a massive pull from the penjamin and open my laptop to daddy kink fanfiction about a middle-aged man with facial hair who is decades older than both of us
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Why do people tell me off for making dead dad jokes? What are you gonna do about it? Tell my dad? I don't think so
It’s October and nine years have passed. I say it’s dark, it’s cold, it’s a season of grief. I don’t know what I’m missing, don’t know what it means. I can’t imagine a life with you here. You’re something I feel, not someone I know; the hum of the house and nobody’s home. I don’t mean to be cruel, I don’t want to forget you. I don’t want to see you in the lawn decor.
Still, the weather gets cold and you’re a creak in the knee. I’m sorry you’re a talking point, sorry you’re a myth. I miss you and I missed you. It’s all in the mist.
hey old man.
it’s my third Father’s Day without you. grief implements new concepts of time, I guess. I’m always counting how long it’s been since.
in the beginning, I was hopeful. I believed in the healing power of time and distance, I believed in the capacity of my heart.
now? I’m just numb, I think. time hasn’t done anything but take away bits and pieces of you from my memory. I know you had such a full laugh, but I can’t hear the echoes as clearly anymore.
I lose myself in what life could’ve been, the things we could’ve done. I lose myself because you were the glue, and nobody has chosen me since you left. you made them love me then, you can’t make them love me now.
there was before your death, 33 years of before. and now there’s just this life after it.
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happy father’s day to everybody out there with a dead dad. i see you. i feel you. we have each other.
most if not all my crying sessions will somehow turn into i want my dad i miss my dad i havent seen him in so long
nothin like a lil grief spiral in the middle of the afternoon bc everything always leads back to that.
