#complex dissociation

i don’t think that osdd = inherently no teritary dissociation. i don’t think bpd = inherently secondary dissociation. i also think that later-onset osdd/did is possible (especially in traumatized endogenic systems, we experienced symptoms of osdd starting at 16 years old bodily.) a degree of identity integration significant enough to prevent the development of a cdd is not a given in everyone(&)’s development. some people also have created/willo or endo systems that become disordered later. we’ve actually created sysmates as a stress and trauma response.

while it is most common for osdd/did to form between 4-10 years old, we don’t believe there is any strict cutoff. instances of late-onset cdds are rare but we believe they are possible. this may be a controversial take, but we have lived experience of late-onset cdd traits so we stand by this. the tosd is also, like my stance, a theory. not yet proven

EDIT: Apparently we have been given wrong information and there is a cutoff age in the DSM. We are deeply sorry for spreading misinformation. Nonetheless we remain skeptical this cutoff inherently applies to any and all cases.

by excluding endogenic systems and presuming the cutoff age as a hard rule, you are indeed excluding fellow traumatized systems.

"I think im endo because i dont remember my trauma" ok... but by saying that you're implying you know its still there.. plus thats literally what a system is meant to do, they are meant to make you not remember your trauma... thats the whole reason the brain splits in the first place... so whats your point here.

I've noticed there tend to be a lot of assumptions in the syscourse community when it comes to stances. This is common for a lot of topics that create discourse, but syscourse is such a complex area of discussion that it's really difficult for some people to 100% agree with "pro" or "anti" non-traumagenic. I can't really say I fully agree with both, but I agree with anti endogenic far more than I do with pro.

I call myself anti endogenic or endogenic critical when in reality, I'm critical of most of the syscourse community and I find the repetitive arguments exhausting and completely ineffectual.

I call myself anti endo because I'm extremely uncomfortable with the involvement that non-traumagens have with the CDD community. It doesn't matter how many times a community SAYS they're separate from a disorder, when actions speak significantly louder than words.

I call myself anti endo even though I genuinely don't like a LOT of anti endo arguments. I have seen SO many accounts create anti endo posts just to be antagonistic/hostile. There is SO much fakeclaiming among anti endos and not enough people recognize that.

I don't call myself endo-neutral because of how much the anti endo community has stressed that "neutrality doesn't exist with ableism" and while I understand the argument, that is such an oversimplified view of what the endogenic community really is.

I don't call myself endo-neutral because a number of blogs have used "neutrality" as a pass to interact with whoever they want to and that's basically erased the "endo neutral" stance from being "allowed" to exist in syscourse.

I don't call myself endo neutral because I'm significantly more comfortable with the anti endo community than I am with the pro endo community—and if I were to say I'm neutral, most would assume I'm trying to evade DNIs like a number of the not-so-endo-neutrals.

I'm sure as hell not pro-endo, because I don't believe endogenic plurality exists. I also think, however, that beliefs like that shouldn't discredit the experiences non-traumagenics feel they have. I'm not cool with fakeclaiming, and saying "endos aren't real" is ultimately fakeclaiming.

I sure as hell am not pro-endo, because I believe their community as a whole is incredibly ableist—that fact being something they are very ignorant to. Non-traumagenics fail to see how their intrusion within disordered spaces can harm those with CDDs.

I generally believe a lot of non-traumagenics are either people with CDDs and repressed/forgotten trauma, or people who experience delusions. I ALSO need to convey how extremely harmful it is to directly tell them that, because THAT IS FORCED TRAUMA/DISORDER RECOGNITION. As a victim of both, myself, I GENUINELY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW BADLY THAT CAN FUCK SOMEONE UP. STOP DOING THAT.

emotionally shutting down

avoiding physical touch

not replying when youre overwhelmed

putting your own needs first

needing control over your life

having strict boundaries

[22 years old, he/him] [homosexual]

I do not share personal information with strangers that may include: pictures of my face, phone number, email address, place of residence.

DMs are open for chat, if there's anything you'd like to ask me that you're interested about, or you just want to talk, feel free to do so. This is one of the reasons why this blog is made anyway.

Open for sexting, ERP, thirst texting - though these who don't respect my boundries will be blocked/reported.

I have OSDD1a (diagnosed) and an oculocutaneous albinism,

I'll use this blog to:

talk about my life [which may include NSFW topics]

share and reblong articles/posts about OSDD/Albinism

or anything else I find interesting

Generally speaking, if you are sensitive to NSFW content, leave. Overall, I don't recommend children and teenagers to interact with this blog at all.

About my system:

I am a newly discovered system, and for now I am only aware of three distinct parts of myself. I mostly go by the same name in daily life, but when I describe my 'alters' (parts), I use code names that we have mutually agreed upon within the system.

1. B [my name] or just B

- I am a co-host of the system and a creator of this blog - There is 90% chance that you'll talk with me if you interract with my blog - My age is equal to the body - I do the talking - I like sex (and things related to it) I talk a lot about it - In terms of personality I'm an ENTJ (though I take it with reserve) - I like all kinds of things, organ rock [mainly Doors] (fuckmeJim), snakes, fashion, garage rock, but not only that, my style is as specified as my disorder - chain smoker (constantly forced to quit) - and I'm quite feminine/elegant in comparasment with the two

2. Neo or N1

- Primary host of the system (lived the longest before second split (10 years)) - Not interested in flirting - Age is equal to the body as well - Sometimes appears slightly rigid and cold on the surface - Our problemsolver - INTJ 5w6, very reserved - Interests blurred with the little one and B

3. Child or Cruddy Crow (CC) or just C

- Our Little one - rarely fronts but can influence - more connected to Neo then B - 8-10 years old?? (acts younger, claims to be 9) - autistic symptoms (due to dissociation, we are not autistic) - really likes toys and puzzles - awkward and shy - called himself after his favorite toy (Cruddy Crow is a rare, transparent garbage pack toy)

(I didn't know that it will turn out this big) It looks 100% like my boyfriend

How we got these names:

The name division of us hosts started with something basic, we used to distinguish ourselves as A [name] and B [name]. We weren't exactly fond of using 1. [name] and 2. [name], since numbers aren't initials, and it felt weird to use any other initials that didn't begin in an alphabetical order. Eventually, we realized that A [name] could be read as though the "A" were an indefinite article rather than an initial, so we decided to change it. He didn't want to be called anything other than our common name, and the numbers were out of question, as well as greek alphabet (Alfa hahahaha) so we finally agreed to call him Neo (as 'one', and it sounds similar to our name) which I find hilarious

Little one specifically wanted to be called after a toy, but all of his favorite toys have diabolical names. I was against him being called 'cruddy' and suggested to only keep the crow, but he insisted on it. N1 accepted this name because it suited him that we should all be arranged in alphabetical order A, B, C [name].

Note:

I don't know my triggers clearly. This blog was specifically created by me (B) and N1 should not interfere it. If it happens it was done by accident. Him and I are very symilar and co fronting can often happen without me realizing exactly who is who

If you are curious about my trauma, I don't remember it at all. I don't remember anything before I turned 11

I have many more parts but it's really foggy and hard to tell who is who, I've just started with therapy

I'm absolutely open to talk with both singlets and plurals

My disorder don't define me, I discovered it recently so it is my major topic right now, but before I knew about it, I was known for many other things

One of those is trending on tiktok right now and not only has it become an earworm that is constantly bouncing around in my head, it's also become an unexpected tool in my complex dissociation toolbox.

Whenever I notice a part of my system is hitting me with some spicy thoughts, I welcome them with "Who came to school today?"

🎵🎶👏Who came to school today? 👏🎶🎵 Did Mila come to school today? I got a friend name Mila Mila is my friend Get up and dance Mila Get up and dance Mila Mila can sit down