#dissociasquad

having a high alter count

having very little amnesia

having lots of introjects

using sign offs and decorating your system trackers

having comorbid disorders

not knowing whether you have osdd, pdid, did

having dramatic switches

being cringe

not being diagnosed

being a teenager

not remembering trauma

systems with osdd, you are loved.

systems with p-did/di-dd, you are loved.

systems with low amnesia, you are loved.

systems with high amnesia, you are loved.

systems with differing alters, you are loved.

systems with alters that don't differ much, you are loved.

systems with nonhuman alter, you are loved.

nonhuman systems, you are loved.

RAMCOA/OEA/TBMC/Programmed systems, you are loved.

systems who used to be endo/pro endo, you are loved.

systems who used to be harmful, you are loved.

diagnosed systems, you are loved.

self diagnosed systems, you are loved.

suspected systems, you are loved.

undiagnosed systems, you are loved.

systems who don't remember their trauma, you are loved.

systems who remember their trauma, you are loved.

queer systems, you are loved.

systems who use xenogender/neopronouns, you are loved.

systems who use parts terminology, you are loved.

systems who use alters terminology, you are loved.

systems who use headmates terminology, you are loved.

systems who use any term to replace parts, you are loved.

systems who like to be treated as multiple, you are loved.

systems who like to be treated as one person, you are loved.

systems who want final fusion, you are loved.

systems who want functional multiplicity, you are loved.

systems who are still in an abusive situation, you are loved.

systems that have multiple/comorbid disorders, you are loved.

systems who are neurodivergent, you are loved.

polyfragmented systems, you are loved.

systems with a high headcount, you are loved.

systems with a low headcount, you are loved.

systems who have a headspace, you are loved.

systems who don't have a headspace, you are loved.

systems who use plural, you are loved.

systems who don't use plural, you are loved.

character's voice, distantly: where the fuck am i

me:

And when I see pro/neu to anti the story’s usually something about how they got forced into syscovery and got harmed, or buried in misinformation that hindered any progress working with it, or pressured into attempting system hopping or creating alters, or it’s someone who didn’t have a CDD talking about how they were convinced they were a system when it was something else!

There's the whole "I do not have DID" followed by people trying to convince me that I actually have DID, when really the only symptom in common is alters. I could go over the entire DSM-V criteria for DID and OSDD and people will still try to armchair diagnose me. It doesn't matter how much you agree with them to say "DID isn't an alter disorder" or even if you don't see yourselves as alters, they think any sort of multiplicity = DID/OSDD.

Even for trauma, anti-endos constantly speculate on my trauma history. I do have PTSD, but very, very frequently anti-endos try to find "secret" PTSD or trauma that I've repressed when in my actual life there is zero evidence of such, and we have dug (because of anti-endos).

I've been called delusional by anti-endos constantly and people have tried to dig for symptoms of schizophrenia or psychosis that don't exist. The weirdest one I've been armchair diagnosed with was epilepsy. I've also gotten BPD, HPD, bipolar disorder, MaDD.

The thing is we are mentally ill, but despite being constantly armchair diagnosed by anti-endos they've never even hit something we've been actually diagnosed with besides PTSD. We've been in therapy for years with therapists who even know about our plurality and at this point if there was any medical concern for a psychosis spectrum disorder or personality disorder, but it hasn't. Even DID has been ruled out even though we're recognized as plural.

Really being an endogenic system seems to make people think they have a right to give uncomfortable speculation about your trauma history and what mental disorder you secretly have.

I've also seen anti-endos in general armchair diagnose people who experience dissociation as a whole as DID/OSDD like DPDR, dissociative amnesia, or even OSDD beyond alters doesn't exist.

In general I think it is very, very dangerous for someone to be pushed into trying to uncover dissociation and trauma in the way anti-endos push.

I wish this issue was discussed more, but trying to make it an endogenic issue I think is completely wrong when the issue is just people making assumptions and speculating on things they shouldn't speculate on, and also the fact that how to recognize unsafe communities isn't really talked about/Discord is infamous for being extremely toxic. The thing is we have been genuinely abused and gaslit by anti-endos in this way and the response from that community is always "but you're an endo so you deserve it because you aren't real" and it's really fucked up.

I fully acknowledge the issue within the anti endo community regarding armchair diagnosis, and I can honestly say that is one of the biggest reasons I started this blog. That being said, accusing me of doing the same simply because I am anti endogenic is incredibly ignorant (quote: "Being anti-endo is crazy because I feel like anti-endos are some of the worst proponents of arm chair diagnosis."). You and I have never had a conversation before this. You could have had this conversation with me without accusing me of the same behavior.

I have not once gone to an endogenic system and tried to convince them that they are a CDD system. I understand just how harmful that can be to someone, especially if they really are a CDD system who believes they don't have "enough" trauma. I am a system who was forced into my own syscovery by another system. It's extremely insensitive to assume I would repeat my own trauma onto others. Do not make those accusations towards me, even if passively.

I want to touch on this on particular:

I wish this issue was discussed more, but trying to make it an endogenic issue I think is completely wrong when the issue is just people making assumptions and speculating on things they shouldn't speculate on, and also the fact that how to recognize unsafe communities isn't really talked about/Discord is infamous for being extremely toxic.

You are really jumping to assumptions here. I'm not making this an endogenic issue. I have stated that this is an issue within the system community, not the endogenic community. A lot of people are quick to jump on the disorder train when it comes to finding explanations for certain behaviors and feelings. I have seen BOTH the pro AND anti endogenic community push people into syscovery, causing them a LOT of harm. We were actually pushed into our own syscovery by someone who was anti endogenic (at the time; nowadays they're pro-endo and radqueer, but that's a different situation).

Pro/Endo arguments, or anti endo demonization, can be SO easily debunked that it hurts. (Part 1)