#cognitive issues

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

Round 1, Match 230 — Astraelum vs. Cognitive Issues

I am not a child. No matter how much I may act like one, think like one, or have needs like one, I am not and never again will be a child. I have more life experiences than a child does and that is important.

Sometimes I may need to be treated similarly (pt: similarly) to a child but I never want to be treated like I AM a child.

I do not want you to talk to me in such a babying voice but I appreciate that you are trying to be considerate of me even if you're going about it wrong.

I do not want to be treated like I'm some "innocent little baby" because I am not. I can make and understand sexual jokes (sometimes because i have trouble processing jokes and sarcasm). I can engage in and enjoy sexual content. I can also take part in sexual activities/interactions (though I won't because I'm ace).

The only people I'm OK with treating me similarly to a child are my parents because they're not actually treating me like a child, they're treating me like the autistic teen that I am who happens to have needs similar to a child's.

The difference between being infantilised and how my parents treat me is that; my parents acknowledge my autism, they acknowledge (most of) my needs, they acknowledge my age, they acknowledge my life experiences, and they acknowledge that how I need to be treated changes; people who infantilise me don't acknowledge any of that and treat and think of me as though I am a child as if I'm "less-than".

Also, the fact that being treated like a child is like being treated as "less than" is horrible. Children are people too and deserve to be treated as such.

But what I’m not so good with is how little I can do on a cognitive, and even emotional level. I’ve gotten so fucking fragile—or maybe I’ve always been that way, idk, but I feel like it’s gotten worse, like I’m able to do less and less without falling apart.

And I know it’s probably because I’m so exhausted all the time, and who isn’t fragile when tired? And also because I’m dealing with a handful of issues at any given moment—different kinds of pains, at different parts of my body, at different levels of pain/discomfort, holding my body the right way so I don’t make it worse, monitoring the different medicines and treatments I’ve taken that day and when I can take more…..I could go on and on. And so I just don’t have the fucking…the bandwidth to process much else, whether that be a problem to solve that takes a lot of focus, or an emotional issue that taxes me in another way.

Whether you struggle with the short term, long term, recall, or the whole process, you're doing an amazing job.

All sorts of things can mess with our ability to remember things, from ADHD and other neurodivergence, to emotional or physical trauma to the brain, to substance and meds mismanagement. I'm so, so proud of you for trying, and for working through it.