"why would you want to be a man?"
unfortunately i don't want to be anything. i have found out i am trans based on the fact i am. its not something i want. honestly with the way people treat trans men, i dont want this for myself. but the only way i can be happy is to pursue transition, and that's how i have found my happiness. within myself i feel secure and great.
but if i had the choice to be trans? i wouldn't take it. this world is insanely cruel. and obviously this is my own take. being trans isn't awful but i... i am a binary trans man and i feel like i have to be entirely stealth to not receive unwanted attention like hate or fetishization
if i am out and proud about being a trans man, i am pursued by lesbians who are into trans mascs when personally that makes me feel dysphoric as fuck. i am a masculine hairy man into masculine hairy men. it feels weird for lesbians to be attracted to me. i am also pursued by straight men because i have a vagina and the possibility of boobs (i bind but idk if these people know that) and they either wanna "fix" me or just treat me like a fleshlight
if i am out and proud about being a trans man, i receive a bunch of misandry and hate and transphobia.
it's either one extreme or the other. it's very rare when i am seen as a man and just accepted as that without some sort of extreme prejudice towards masculinity and being a man or even just being trans.
if i could choose this, i wouldn't choose to be something people hate. i would choose to just be happy in my own body and find a way to exist that way. but i tried that and all it did was make me more depressed than anything. i have never felt so secure in my body than as a man. but it doesn't change the way i feel in regards to how others treat me.
i can't control being trans any more than i can control the foods i like, my favorite colors, smells that repulse me, and the people i find attractive. if i could control anything it would be this. id rather not be hated by everyone based on something i wish i could control but unfortunately i cannot.
